30-Day Breakup Guide: Day 7
Posted by: Jessica Bartlett
Filed in:
relationships
9:00AM, Tuesday July 7th 2009
Box Up His Crap
Get a box. A shoebox will do for a shorter-term relationship. A ream-of-paper-size box from your office’s supply room will do for a long-term relationship. Now start throwing any relationship-related stuff in it. If you want to burn the Patriots jersey he left over at your place, or sell it on eBay, or toss it (with a nice flourish) into a city Dumpster, fine, but you can’t do that with everything. A short list of items that must go, after the jump…
- Cutesy pictures of the two of you.
- Ticket stubs from movies you went to together.
- That one dress you wore on your second date that he said you looked beautiful in (that you haven’t worn since).
- Letters. Cards. Notes. Anything he gave you that you saved for posterity.
Now, don’t panic! You don’t have to pitch the box in the trash (unless you want to). Just tape that sucker closed and place it on the very top shelf of your linen closet, give it to your best friend for safekeeping, or lock it in a rental storage space. The point is to get that thing away from you—as far away from your conscious mind as humanly possible. Look around your apartment. What you now have is your stuff. You. And that’s more valuable than any faded ribbon from that one semi-thoughtful birthday present he gave you two years ago.
Did you just go through a horrible breakup? Is your heart in a million little pieces? Whether you got dumped or did the dumping, splitting up with someone sucks. But have no fear, The Frisky’s 30-Day Breakup Guide is here! Once you’ve a good cry over the loss of your relationship, spend the next month working on yourself. We’ll be posting detailed instructions for the next 30 days to help you get over he-who-shall-not-be-named. There’s even a handy-dandy calendar to help you keep track of your progress. Now get to work!
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sparklestar
wrote on July 7 2009 @ 11:35 am: [report]
This is great until you find out that your ex-husband has died and you go scouring through boxes searching for ANYTHING that will stop you forgetting the time you had together.
Just recapping my weekend for you there.
Rose
wrote on July 7 2009 @ 11:44 am: [report]
Oh, sparklestar. I’m so sorry for your loss. That’s a tough one because so few people realize you’ve even experienced a loss. My heart goes out to you.
sparklestar
wrote on July 7 2009 @ 11:48 am: [report]
Thank you Rose. You’re quite right, I would have never found out if we had just broken up like unmarried couples do and went about our lives. However, I had a divorce lawyer and his family were able to trace me.
I am so glad I found out but now kicking myself for doing the “ex cleanse”... :(
Ms.NGuerrero
wrote on July 7 2009 @ 12:17 pm: [report]
@sparklestar…
my ex bf aka my best friend of 6 yrs died three months after the break up…and im kicking myself for deleting all his pictures off my phone and those sweet texts he sent. but i still have some and those off line…and the box he kept of me, and me of him… his dad was sweet enough to give it back to me…
word of advise…dont toss it for at least a year =]
sparklestar
wrote on July 7 2009 @ 12:24 pm: [report]
Ouch. :( Me and my ex-husband broke up in 2001 but remained on reasonably good terms since then. Since this was 8 years ago I am struggling to piece together anything from our memories together.
At the moment all I can say is - thank goodness for archive.org! He had quite an internet prescence back then and I’ve found old blog entries, old pictures and the like from his personal site. Thank goodness.
I’m sorry for your loss. :(
So far the award for the most insensitive comment has been - “but you’re divorced, why do you care?”
joyy
wrote on July 7 2009 @ 12:27 pm: [report]
@sparklestar - what a horrible comment! Maybe some of your mutual friends with your ex have pictures or anything?
cakeboss
wrote on July 14 2009 @ 12:51 pm: [report]
This one felt so good!!! Call me childish but burning pics of the two of us while listening to Taylor Swift’s Picture to Burn was…. great. Dumping his stuff in the lake by my house… priceless and ripping up all those stupid love letters! Yay!!!