21 Sexy Christmas Presents That Are Just Wrong

Posted by: Simcha Whitehill Filed in: galleries, sex
11:29AM, Thursday December 3rd 2009

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I'm A Ho Ho Ho Shirt

[I’m A Ho Ho Ho Shirt, $26.95, Zazzle.com]

Christmas time is here and we’re all struggling to find our special peeps the perfect present. But some manufacturers seem to have more than just their bottom line in mind; they’re also thinking about getting some booty. And they’ve taken things pretty far. So far, even my Jewish butt is like, “WTF? Is spreading holiday cheer a euphemism for spreading your legs?” Dang, now I really want in on celebrating Christmas! Well, whatever you hope to get this season, if you buy this shirt, it also comes with a bonus gift— a gyno appointment. Kidding! But this T is just the tip of the snowman’s nose when it comes to hilariously inappropriate Christmas merch. Check out this frisky and freaky list of Christmas stuff you will NOT be buying your Grandma this year ...

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Tags: sex toys, products, christmas

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dizzy

wrote on December 3, 2009 @ 5:42 PM

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Bwahaha. I think the mistletoe underwear is hilarious and I would not say nay to them being in my stocking. Victoria's Secret every year sells sexy Santa's little helper outfits and I don't think that the novelty underwear is much different.

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"Secret Story Time"

wrote on December 3, 2009 @ 5:53 PM

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Adult mistle toe and Old St. Prick? Those would be great gag gifts for grownups!How can you say they are "just wrong?"I like those a lot!Secretia (Secret Story Time0

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H. Blue

wrote on December 3, 2009 @ 5:57 PM

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I, too, would love some mistletoe underwear.. but not in those creepy boob and penis stockings. The other stuff was hilarious, those, for some reason I found disturbing.

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littlemissemperor

wrote on December 3, 2009 @ 6:39 PM

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wait, the mistletoe underwear is MUSICAL?! that's awful.

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J.D. Bauchery

wrote on December 3, 2009 @ 8:58 PM

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I agree to disagree... http://hotmoviesforher.com/9345/den-of-d-bauchery/holy-hot-holiday-themed-toys/

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marykerry

wrote on December 3, 2009 @ 9:04 PM

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Wait a second! Isn't that Ralph Lauren sweater the same that Kimora Lee's new hubby is wearing in their Christmas card photo? The one mentioned in the Star Couplings!http://www.mediatakeout.com/2009/37291-christmas_fabulosity_we_got_our_hands_on_the_pic_that_kimora_and_djimon_are_using_for_their_christmas_cards.html

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lawyrgrl

wrote on December 3, 2009 @ 11:45 PM

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@H. Blue Maybe you found the stockings disturbing because the penis looked remarkably like a squid? And I am pretty sure that the person who designed the boobs has never actually see a real pair!That said, I do kind of like the "I'm a Ho, Ho, Ho" T-shirt! My fiance does this whole "I'm gonna introduce you to people as my ho! You are my property woman!" thing to tease me. Sounds juvenile I know but it generally involves tickling and giggles. (OK - totally juvenile but it is funny!) I could pretend that I was wearing the t-shirt to his stuffy Holiday party!

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Simcha Whitehill

wrote on December 3, 2009 @ 11:54 PM

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@MaryKerry OMG Totally is! Guess Kimora's got the $$$$

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ohhfoggylullaby

wrote on December 3, 2009 @ 11:58 PM

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I really want that moose hat...but I know I would never leave my house in it. Also, the kinky snowmen ornament was pretty funny, I'd love to see the look on my mother's face if I hung that on our tree...

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Anniushka

wrote on December 4, 2009 @ 12:51 AM

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I love the moose hat. Not that I would wear it, but my opinion of some people would be better if they did.

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Jillybean

wrote on December 4, 2009 @ 2:16 AM

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The boob stocking looked more like testicles. I could certainly see myself buying some of this stuff - I got my Mum a candy festive penis one year and we placed it on the top of the tree. Then the catholic side of the family came round . . .

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Mod Potter

wrote on December 4, 2009 @ 4:57 AM

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My grandparents have a ornament just like the Reindeer Sex Ornament. Ugh.

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So sly

wrote on December 4, 2009 @ 8:46 AM

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lol. These are hilarious. I wish my family weren't so uptight because everyone needs to lighten up and laugh during the holidays. Even at the tacky stuff. Geez.

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canadiancutie

wrote on December 4, 2009 @ 11:43 PM

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That main picture reminded me so much of Lady Gaga's brilliant Christmas song. "Ho, Ho, Ho/Under the mistletoe..."

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Izzy

wrote on December 5, 2009 @ 3:47 AM

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The ornaments (with the exception of the solitary hanging boob) aren't really creepy. They're actually really funny and would make a funny gag gift for girlfriends.

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CheezeDoodles

wrote on December 5, 2009 @ 2:23 PM

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I LOVE THE MOOSE HAT!!! I would wear that all the time! Sucks that it appears to be sold out. I love mooses (word mangling is intentional).The boobie ornaments are...ODD. Kinda boring, really. Hear Christmas guests say things like: "you have a titty on your tree." Naaaah.The Frosty toy? I can't do [i][b]that [/b][/i]with Frosty! That's just wrong! He should never be party to activities like that. He's pure as the driven...well, you get my drift...The bondage snowmen ornament--to quote Larry the Cable Guy, "I don't care who y'are, that's FUNNY." Might have to get one of those.

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symone

wrote on December 7, 2009 @ 7:16 AM

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I would totally buy the boning snowman ornament!! That would definitely earn me some looks from my family...And I simply could not befriend frosty the snowman wand. I mean, the damn thing has eyes, and any sex toy with eyes would creep me out.

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caseyj

wrote on March 8, 2010 @ 3:57 PM

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I want the moose hat!!!

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