18 T-Shirt Slogans That Will Not Get You Laid

Riley
wrote on August 26 2009 @ 07:43 am: [report]

Stay out of my closet!

kfizz
wrote on August 26 2009 @ 09:00 am: [report]

I got a friend that can pull off some of thous shirts. He is like a true lady’s man. But he is not that lame to wear most of them. The normal shirt he wears is a kum and go gas station which is a gas station around here. I feel sorry for the guys wearing them in the pics.

Jenn27549
wrote on August 26 2009 @ 09:05 am: [report]

Saw a guy in Florida once with a “Certified Muff Diver” shirt with the scuba flag on it.  From the looks of him he’d never even seen a “muff” in person, let alone obtained his certification in diving. 

Christinaval
wrote on August 26 2009 @ 09:23 am: [report]

I HATE THESE SHIRTS.

GreenAura
wrote on August 26 2009 @ 09:33 am: [report]

For Halloween one year, we had a hard time coming up w/ a last minute costume for my hubby.  So we bought a mullet wig and some fake “hillbilly” teeth.  Then we wrote on a white t-shirt “I’m With Stupid”, but the arrow pointed up. 

BedRocka
wrote on August 26 2009 @ 09:33 am: [report]

hahaha ... oooh so self righteous!! why so serious??

spanishbutterfly
wrote on August 26 2009 @ 12:03 pm: [report]

lmaooooooooooo i like most of the shirts, the last one was not funny at all i didnt get it.  my fav.. I love shaved beavers lol

EscapeHatch
wrote on August 26 2009 @ 12:19 pm: [report]

There was a guy in my Chemical Engineering program in college we called “Dirty Steve.” He walked into class on the day we were getting lectured by the ATF (it’s complicated, but a professor had taught us recipes for various… exciting, dare I say… explosive! compounds) wearing a shirt that said:

“I’m not Mr. Right, but I’ll #&@$% you till he gets here.”

Ugh. The looks on the agents’ faces were priceless though.

Jewels86
wrote on August 26 2009 @ 05:45 pm: [report]

I know I definitely steer clear of guys who wear these types of T’s. I don’t understand when it became cool to act like a total jackass. It’s a total lack of respect for women.

catscratchfever
wrote on August 26 2009 @ 11:56 pm: [report]

#18 is Not. Okay.

I did once steal a shirt that said “All Star Pimp.”  I liked him, so I rationalized it: I could not date a guy who owned such a shirt, but if I stole it from him, he wouldn’t technically own it anymore.

It didn’t work out.

jackofhearts
wrote on August 27 2009 @ 07:48 am: [report]

Most of these are just pretty tragic. I have a real problem with joke slogan t-shirts of any nature. People wear them to seem funny and individual, but I guess they don’t get the irony. Some of my least favourite are the ones that purport to communicate how much of a ‘fun guy’ the wearer is eg

“Take me drunk I’m home”
“Nucking Futs”
“If found please return to pub”
“One tequila, two tequila, three tequila… FLOOR!”

They just make me squirm with embarrassment for the wearer.

ChoJinn
wrote on August 27 2009 @ 10:39 am: [report]

Wow, #18 is awful.

Frederica Bimble
wrote on August 27 2009 @ 11:35 am: [report]

Yep, they’re all pretty bad but wait!  Oh, who’s that I see?  A woman who will walk up to any of the guys wearing the shirts and give them ATTENTION.  How?  By “telling them off” or by “giggling” at them.  Both, behaviours I’ve seen and both perpetuate the type of men (boys) who, instead of having self-respect, have learned it is “ok” to degrade themselves and attempt to take women down with them.

As long as women IGNORE them, then the shirts won’t serve a purpose anymore.

Jewels86
wrote on August 27 2009 @ 03:47 pm: [report]

I agree Frederica!
I just ignore people who wear these shirts all together.
no point even addressing them or “telling them off” because they already know the shirt is offensive. They bought it for that very reason.

bogart4017
wrote on August 28 2009 @ 01:47 pm: [report]

I wonder if the people who wear these shirts know that they are being judged.

Derekj123
wrote on September 24 2009 @ 11:29 am: [report]

LOL these shirts are FUNNY!!! would not be caught in public wearing them, trying to find love… maybe would wear them on a quite beer pong night with a couple buds

toyen
wrote on October 22 2009 @ 09:32 am: [report]

Actually ladies, we should love these shirts!

...It’s like douchebag advertising. We don’t even have to waste time talking to them.

MuchoMacho
wrote on October 22 2009 @ 09:51 am: [report]

so apparently the writer and most of you leaving comments dont have a sense of humor.  fyi - MOST guys wearing shirts like these are not trying to be taken seriously.  i had a “huge in japan” shirt i used to wear out.  i wouldnt wear it to clubs or if i was trying to be classy.  id wear it to the bar, and get drunk, and have fun while in it.  if you dont think its funny, ur probably lame and i dont want to be your friend anyway.  if you do, it doesnt mean im going to try having sex with you…  it just means you have a sense of humor.  and i might try to have sex with you.

Jill
wrote on October 22 2009 @ 10:26 am: [report]

I hate these shirts as much as I hate the shirts girls wear that say “Princess by birth, bitch by experience” and “Daddy’s little girl” and all that.  You’re advertising that you’re a bitch and high maintenance.

Guys, even if its a “clever” saying, chances are its actually only funny 1 time out of 10.  Don’t advertise that you’re a douche.

Plus I hate the shirts (some of them in this gallery) that are basically like the dirty cat calls pigs yell at you on the street.  I don’t like hearing it from some group of idiots in a car driving by and I don’t want to read it on your shirt.

Khana
wrote on October 24 2009 @ 06:15 am: [report]

Personally, I find some shirts like these funny in the right circumstance (though some, like #18, never). Yes, if the guy’s trying to be taken seriously, he’s more of an idiot than anything else, but as a purely humor thing, it can work out just fine. When I see a shirt like that, I don’t think, “douchebag,” I think, “guy with a controversial sense of humor who’s potentially a jerk.” But then, what guy Isn’t potentially a jerk? I’ve known plenty of cool guys who can get away with shirts like this.

Joseph Murphy
wrote on October 31 2009 @ 08:44 am: [report]

It’s interesting that so many commenters find number 18 to be the one that crosses the line.  I would point out that it’s the only one that contains an actual joke rather than simply a crude phrase.

I guess any mention of ‘battered women’ crosses some peoples’ lines, but I don’t think it’s actually a joke about wanting to beat up women, it’s just a play on words which references the fact that there are battered women in the world.

That said i would never wear any of these, but mainly because they just aren’t very funny.  There’s nothing worse than proving yourself to be tasteless and crude with a lousy sense of humor all at once.