15 Things A Woman Can Do And Still Call Herself A “Feminist”
Posted by: Wendy Atterberry
Filed in:
news
11:30AM, Tuesday November 24th 2009
There’s an article this week in the Daily Mail UK admonishing a TV newscaster in England for wearing “more makeup than a drag queen” during a recent news report. The biggest problem was that she’s a feminist news correspondent. “Is it possible to be a feminist while wearing false eyelashes?” the writer — a self-defined “old-school feminist” asks. Uh, yeah, it is! And after the jump, 15 other shocking things it’s possible for a woman to do and still call herself a feminist.
- Wear plunging necklines.
- Enjoy “chick lit.”
- Let a man pay.
- Change her last name when she marries.
- Flirt unabashedly.
- Enjoy the company of men more than women.
- Get waxed regularly.
- Watch the “Real Housewives” franchise and like it.
- Use her looks and sexuality to her advantage.
- Enjoy porn.
- Become a stay-at-home mom.
- Bake chocolate-chip cookies for her husband’s office party.
- Giggle.
- Wear a white wedding dress.
- Disagree with other women.
TheFrisky.com is part of the Turner Sports and Entertainment Digital Network
MuchoMacho
wrote on November 24 2009 @ 11:35 am: [report]
16. Give head.
verynervous
wrote on November 24 2009 @ 11:38 am: [report]
I thought the point of feminism was that I can do anything?
fireflyeyes
wrote on November 24 2009 @ 11:39 am: [report]
@verynervous: Bingo!
belligerentjane
wrote on November 24 2009 @ 11:40 am: [report]
Feminism is about choice.
You choose to be who you want to be. You choose what you want to do.
Even if it means wearing make up to the point where they confuse you with a drag queen.
Shosanna
wrote on November 24 2009 @ 11:44 am: [report]
17. Choose to be a stay-at-home Mom.
Not my personal choice, but just because a woman wants to manage the household does not make her a pawn of the patriarchy.
SCRMOM
wrote on November 24 2009 @ 11:45 am: [report]
I generally dislike lists that try to define what someone is because there is no “one size fits all”. I prefer something general like, “Makes life decisions based on what makes her happy and fulfilled, not based on anyone else’s expectations or beliefs.”
bogart4017
wrote on November 24 2009 @ 11:45 am: [report]
17. Be a girlie-girl.
MuchoMacho
wrote on November 24 2009 @ 11:47 am: [report]
im pretty excited that you guys are moving on to #17 as if youve all accepted my #16 as accurate…
monicacaroline
wrote on November 24 2009 @ 11:48 am: [report]
Amen! There was a total #&@$% article on college candy about how the author was only a “semi-feminist” because she enjoyed doing all these girly things.
I think its really bad for the feminist movement to play this “is she or isn’t she” game.
QTKT
wrote on November 24 2009 @ 11:48 am: [report]
Thank you!!
Alexa
wrote on November 24 2009 @ 11:53 am: [report]
@MuchoMacho Your “16” is covered by the original #9. kthxbai.
thickasawhaleomelette
wrote on November 24 2009 @ 12:07 pm: [report]
Goodness! It surprises me that some people, like the author of the article quoted here, are still working to make feminism an exclusive term, and kind of keep it on the “dirty word” list. I know some wonderfully strong, empowered women who will say things like “I’m not a feminist but…” because they believe that feminists are against the sorts of things on this Frisky list. It seems pretty self-defeating to me.
When I hear that “I’m not a feminist but…” or when people are surprised that I identify as a feminist, I ask them some pretty basic questions, like
“Do you believe that I/you/your wife/your daughter should be paid the same as a man for doing the same work?” After a few of those, and a few affirmative responses, I usually tell them that that’s feminism to me, and it’s not a dirty word, it’s about equality and respect for who someone is as a person.
Morwen
wrote on November 24 2009 @ 01:10 pm: [report]
18. Want to be hold
I love this list. Being a radical feminist doesn’t mean I don’t enjoy cooking or getting dolled up.
tigerstripe
wrote on November 24 2009 @ 01:37 pm: [report]
@MuchoMacho, your #16 is dead on! It’d be awesome if you could explain to my boyfriend that plenty of feminists still love the peen.
kippon
wrote on November 24 2009 @ 07:37 pm: [report]
#324093: Get mani-pedi’s. cos they feel good!
develange
wrote on November 26 2009 @ 10:30 pm: [report]
@Mucho, #16 is right on. But it should say “give head, and THOROUGHLY ENJOY IT.”
Or you could just say, “enjoy pleasing a man.”
Yeah, don’t get why feminism is still considered awful or insane. For the 1000th time, feminism does NOT equal man-hating! Or hating other women for that matter.
canadiancutie
wrote on November 26 2009 @ 10:50 pm: [report]
I think the only people who stigmatize the word “feminist” are a certain faction of men. When a man approaches a woman who is CLEARLY out of his league, and she (politely) declines his advances, said man may be inclined to later rail bitterly against “feminist bitches today.” The notion of women having more choice than ever and thus, not having to settle for undesirable men is incredibly threatening to them.
belongsomewhere
wrote on November 26 2009 @ 10:52 pm: [report]
@monicacaroline I read that article on CollegeCandy, too, and between that and their treatment of the Caster Semenya story, I haven’t stand reading that website anymore.
This one is much better—nice work, Wendy!
C.Munro
wrote on November 27 2009 @ 03:12 am: [report]
I don’t dig No. 9 so much. I find it irritating when a woman tries to use her sexuality to manipulate me. If someone wants something from me, an appeal to empathy is more effective than one to my gonads.
Frederica Bimble
wrote on November 27 2009 @ 08:19 am: [report]
MuchoMacho: Do grow up. I’ve read some of your comments and the word that comes to mind is: “repulsive.” Don’t bother to write a rebuttal in my direction because I won’t read it.
When are men like you - and yes, that IS a “general” comment and a rhetorical one - going to realise that the world does NOT revolve around them. Geesh…....
Your kind is a dime a dozen and it takes very little effort to “be that guy.”
C. Munro: You wondered about being Asperger’s on another thread. Well, I can tell you that if ANYONE can “appeal to your empathy” then you are most likely not Asperger’s at all.
Does anyone have any idea how to delete one’s account - or what “looks” like an account on this thing? I’ve asked and got nothing from the contact form on here.
Budlight Lime Gal
wrote on November 27 2009 @ 08:47 am: [report]
Ashley Judd looks crazy.
Isista
wrote on November 27 2009 @ 07:43 pm: [report]
I agree with other posters, that feminism is about choice and how *I* choose to express my femininity.
PinkRanger
wrote on November 27 2009 @ 10:15 pm: [report]
@federicabimble: Do calm down. muchomacho was making a joke. Although he is right, you can give plenty of head and still be a feminist
lol.
theattack
wrote on November 28 2009 @ 03:06 am: [report]
I like this list. Except #9. Definitely do not agree with #9. Using your sexuality to your advantage is only reinforcing what you’re trying to fight against as a feminist anyway. Be as sexual as you want, but accomplish the things you want to accomplish because of who you are and your strengths. Your value lies in who you are and not your body, so present yourself accordingly.
lawyrgrl
wrote on November 28 2009 @ 08:51 am: [report]
@theattack I must politely disagree. As a feminist, I don’t think that I am fighting against anything. I am simply living my life and I am thankful to the women who came before me that I have the right to do that. While I continue to push for expanded rights, in the reproductive/healthcare areas especially, I do not view my everyday activities as a daily fight.
If someone is blessed with good looks, why should they not use them? No one would suggest that a person given musical ability, athletic prowess or any other inborn trait allow it to go unused. What makes physical attractiveness any different? Just because women were ONLY able to use that trait in the past should not mean that it is off limits now. A beautiful face and body IS a strength and part of who that person is. They have every right to use it to their advantage to accomplish what they want out of life.
Alexa
wrote on November 28 2009 @ 09:02 am: [report]
@thettack, I also disagree with you. Not sure where you got the idea that feminism remotely suggests you can’t or shouldn’t use your sexuality to your advantage.
canadiancutie
wrote on November 28 2009 @ 12:07 pm: [report]
I agree with C. Munro and theattack. While I fully support a woman’s right to do whatever she wants with her body including use it to her financial advantage, I just don’t agree that she can do so and simultanouesly call herself a feminist. Unless she spends like, the other 98% of her time literally picketing for women’s rights and for women to be taken seriously, which I highly doubt. There’s no double standard with me though. I also fully believe that a man who wears a banana hammock or something “to get ahead” is not a real man either.
lawyrgrl
wrote on November 28 2009 @ 01:52 pm: [report]
@canadiancutie One of the beautiful things about being a feminist is that we do not require permission from anyone in order to call ourselves one. Your criteria is applicable to you and you alone. It is ironic that women are loathe to call themselves a feminist for fear of social disapproval from one subset of the culture, and then they receive flack from entirely other subset once they do embrace the word. One of the basic tenants of feminism is that, once we are adult women, no one, not our fathers, brothers, husbands, or even our well-meaning mothers, sisters and friends can tell us who we are and how we must live our lives.
theattack
wrote on November 28 2009 @ 09:47 pm: [report]
@lawyrgrl and Alexa, Let me first say that I am not going to give anyone flack who calls themselves a feminist. Everyone does it differently and to different degrees. I personally take it further and more seriously than most other feminists I know, but I think any degree of feminism is wonderful. When it comes to sexuality, there are two different ways that feminists typically think of it: You can either be as sexual as you want because you’re embracing your ability to do so freely, or you can disagree with how much women are sexualized, or any combination of the two. I personally think women can and should do whatever they want in their personal sexual lives, but when I look at the way women are presented as sexual beings in our culture, it sickens me. It goes beyond the media and makes its way into the way a lot of people think about women and where our value lies within us, even if subtlely and unknowingly. There’s nothing wrong with using your sexuality to your advantage if you want to, because that’s your choice. But I encourage women to choose the path of least resistance and get the things they want out of life because they worked for it. Using your sexuality to get ahead could send the message that that’s the only way you would have been able to achieve those things, reinforcing a problem we already have. I already find that it’s sometimes difficult to have intelligent conversations with some men because they think I’m only a sexual creature and not intellectual, based solely on my gender. Those ideas make me want to cover myself up and blow them away with my intelligence.
The difference between attractive physical appearance and something like musical/athletic ability is that physical appearance is natural (well….usually) and not worked for. Other talents still must be learned and worked toward, even if it comes easily to the person. It requires a certain degree of intelligence and dedication. More than applying makeup.
theattack
wrote on November 28 2009 @ 09:57 pm: [report]
Oh yeah. And lawyrgrl, you said you don’t view your daily life as a fight, and that’s fine. Other feminists before us have fought for that right for us. But for me, it’s still a fight, because I’m still not happy with the way I’m viewed by society. That fight can’t just be on the ballot. The fight has to pervade into our daily lives too. Otherwise, what’s the point?
Alexa
wrote on November 28 2009 @ 10:02 pm: [report]
@theattack, you’re the perfect example of why I stopped calling myself a “feminist” about a year ago. You can turn something that should be fairly plainly understandable into something so distorted as to make it nonsensical.
If using your sexuality to achieve an advantage “sends the message that that’s the only way you would have been able to achieve those things” then that’s a failing on their part, not yours. So using that as an argument against against it speaks more about your understanding of feminism than anything else.
theattack
wrote on November 28 2009 @ 10:18 pm: [report]
@Alexa - Everyone can complicate things, not just feminists. You can’t change the way people think about you unless you prove them wrong. It won’t just magically happen. It’s not any woman’s fault if other people view her differently because of her gender, but if you are someone dedicated to changing those things, then you have to go beyond what’s necessary and take some extreme steps. Not every feminist is interested in creating more social change, but those that are have to take it upon themselves to go beyond what they’re accountable for.