10 Movies, TV Shows, & Songs To Avoid During A Breakup
Posted by: Amelia McDonell-Parry
Filed in:
relationships
12:00PM, Thursday September 25th 2008
While I am on this “break” with the man friend (it remains unclear how long this break will last, FYI), I’ve sworn off certain movies, TV shows, and songs out of fear that they’ll make me depressed. A friend of mine went through a breakup recently and all she did was listen to Morrissey, but wallowing is not really my heartbreak style. I like avoidance and denial. Obviously, I can’t avoid these aspects of pop culture forever and will need to work them gradually back into my life, but for now, there will be no “General Hospital”, or Queen’s “You’re My Best Friend”, or Reese Witherspoon movies. See the rest of the list of Pop Culture No-No’s, after the jump.
1. The entire Billie Holiday collection: Do you really need a cornucopia of songs about being miserable to remind you of how miserable YOU are?
2. “Walkin’ After Midnight” by Patsy Cline: This song is sexy depressing when you’re happy. It’s just pathetically depressing when you’re pathetically depressed.
3. “Trust The Man” starring David Duchovny, Julianne Moore, Maggie Gyllenhaal, and Billy Crudup: I watched this movie, actually, the night before I got the break-ing news. It’s about how incredibly emotionally immature and not evolved men are. How true. How not necessary to be reminded.
4. “A Wedding Story”, “A Baby Story”, etc.: Look, I was not a bridezilla. What makes me sad about this break is missing my companion, not the fact that we’re no longer getting married in May. But I still have no desire to revel in strange people’s happiness (unless it is reading the ridiculous announcements in the New York Times Wedding section).
5. “Perfect Day” by Lou Reed: I’m such a sap for this song—it was going to be our first dance tune. I may not have been a bridezilla, but I did have the music all figured out. And now all my favorite songs are tainted. Grr.
6. “The Break Up” starring Jennifer Aniston and Vince Vaughn: I’m one of the few that loved this movie, mainly because it made me laugh in that, “Haha, this is totally the way me and the fiance would be behave if we ever broke up, but I’m able to laugh about it because, haha, we are NEVER going to break up so it’ll never become a bitter reality!” Oops.
7. Wedding magazines: I had accrued a stack of them and they promptly went in the trash. The sucky part about this is that for some reason, wedding magazines cost more than regular magazines. Why?
8. “Sex and the City: The Movie”: Yeah, convenient that it came out this week on DVD, but you know what? It’s double-y depressing that my life has come to resemble a movie I thought was totally disappointing.
9. “Definitely, Maybe” starring Ryan Reynolds and Isla Fisher: I watched this movie two days before the break. It was actually pretty awesome, but looking back, I don’t think I could watch it now, what with the whole storyline being about how we really don’t know who our soulmate is and we may have to go through many, many almost-soulmates to find the right one, because GOD, I just do not have time or energy for that.
10. Soap Operas: Post-break, I took a few days off of work to regroup. In between naps I watched a lot of daytime TV, but could not stomach my usual soap operas—this is a whole other post in and of itself, but growing up watching soap operas gave me a really weird perspective on the way romantic relationships should be. I thought I was over that, having been in a successful relationship for so long, but this whole situation has made me think, “But remember when Sonny left Brenda at the altar on “General Hospital”? He still LOVED her…” So, for my own sanity, I’m avoiding my soaps for now, because I do not need to be comparing my life to that of a fictional soap opera mobster and his old girlfriend.
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theothergyllenhaal
wrote on September 25 2008 @ 03:31 pm: [report]
Made the mistake of watching High Fidelity after breaking up with my ladyfriend of three years. Dumb, dumb movie.
Angina’s tough!
theothergyllenhaal
wrote on September 25 2008 @ 03:34 pm: [report]
I meant dumb move. Not dumb movie. High Fidelity is the goodness.
pinkbunnie
wrote on September 25 2008 @ 04:00 pm: [report]
Holy crap! Your are the biggest WUSS! No wonder your ‘man-friend’ is on a ‘break’! Better check with your sister, he might be taking ‘break’ with her. Oh by the way, The Break up sucked because it had Jennifer Aniston in it. Enough said. If you really want to kno what to avoid, how about this:
In The Company of Men - This movie shows how low a man will sink just to deliberately injure someone. You will hate Aaaron Eckhart.
Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon - This is a beautifully sad romantic film cleverly disguised as an action movie. Michelle Yoeh will break your heart.
Ice Cream - This is only to consumed with other dump-ees. Bring spoons. This includes cheesecake, triple chocolate anything and tequila.
The Story of O - O submits to the most henious of sexual acts and then doesn’t understand why Sir Stephen doesn’t love her. Hmmm… Self esteem maybe?
Trying on clothes - Even if you’re a size zero, you’re still gonna think you’re huge in that designer dress. You’re going to believe that the only man that you’ll ever love dumped you because you’re a fat, fat, fatty!
So Sick - Patrick Stump’s heart rending version of Ne-Yo’s song about, “I am so devastated that you dumped me that I have bruises from where I fell and my heart is broken I can actually hear it crack when I breathe and I am slowly dying from the inside and you don’t care.”
Pushing Daisies - Ned can’t touch lonely tourist Charlotte Charles (Chuck) because if he does, he’ll truly kill her. Ned has the saddest eyes this side of a bassett hound.
So, wuss, wash your face call all your girlfriends and boy-girlfriends and crack open the Hagen-Daas and
QUIT YER WHINING!!!!!!!!!!
Love and bunnie toes! =:0)
Amelia
wrote on September 25 2008 @ 04:15 pm: [report]
@pinkbunnie Watch yourself, sweetie.
anasca
wrote on September 25 2008 @ 04:47 pm: [report]
@amelia: agreed- The Break Up is bad because it’s a bit too realistic. I unfortunately saw it days before my last break up, and while I was watching it everything seemed eerily familiar.
@pinkbunnie: the insults are really unnecessary.
Daryl Campbell
wrote on September 25 2008 @ 05:32 pm: [report]
I love Billie Holliday but got to agree with you. Listening to her after a break up could potentially put you out on a ledge.
LucyInTheSky
wrote on September 25 2008 @ 05:34 pm: [report]
I’d also suggest avoiding The Notebook and really, ANY movie where the main characters break up and then are apart for several years. Then they get back together at the end because they are “meant to be”. F that. Do not let Hollywood create false hope in your heart!
Amelia
wrote on September 25 2008 @ 07:17 pm: [report]
11. The Office—Just burst into tears. Sigh.
Leigh Raines
wrote on September 26 2008 @ 08:51 am: [report]
Oh definitely don’t watch the notebook. I cry watching that even if i’m in a good mood. Also do not listen to “Glycerine” by Bush. That’ll kill ya.
Audi
wrote on September 26 2008 @ 04:02 pm: [report]
On the other hand, I found that listening to “Smile” by Lily Allen was the perfect post-breakup balm…
Kev
wrote on September 30 2008 @ 10:49 am: [report]
For me it’s always Gwen Stephani music that tears me up post-breakup. Something about her voice makes me so sad. Oh, and Tori Amos, but that just makes me suicidal..