13 Signs She’s A Loser

Posted by: Simcha Whitehill Filed in: relationships
1:30PM, Tuesday August 11th 2009

Comments (28)

As you Frisky readers know, I’ve had a bumpy ride as a single gal. Unfortunately, it was a stroll down memory lane to share with you the 12 signs the man you’re dating is a loser. But that doesn’t mean a girl can’t be a dud, too! Case in point? “Megan Wants a Millionaire.” For all you Frisky guy readers, check out my 13 signs that you may be dating a loser! Then, lose her.

Baby, I’m Yours: She wants to have kids so she can stop working and mooch off you. Now who’s the child?
She Needs To Do Everything With You: It’s one thing to share experiences, but it’s another thing to need someone to hold your hand all the time. When it goes beyond wanting to spending time together to demanding it constantly, you have to wonder, what’s her problem?
Party Pooper: She’s mopey when you’re not giving her 100 percent of your attention. When you start having fun, she’s wants to leave.
Sex As A Weapon: Putting out is the bartering chip she’s been using since her school days, but it’s a cheap ploy. A clever woman who respects herself doesn’t have to abuse her sexual power.
Dirty-Flirty Double Standard: She flirts with dudes in front of you, shamelessly. Then, she gets super mad and makes a scene if you so much as give a cute waitress your order.
High-Maintenance Mama: She’s constantly complaining and barking orders. Everyone around her rolls their eyes at her demands. Why doesn’t she get off her duff and do it herself?
Friend Indeed: She forces you to show off to her lady friends with grand displays of obedience, love, and virility. But she never wants to hang out with you and your best bros. Why is it she expects people to thinks she’s impressive when she never does anything to impress them?
Parent Trap: She blames her life’s problems on her parents, yet she depends on them, a lot.
Social Climber: She’s always looking for someone richer to kiss up to. When it comes to making new friends, she’s a total snob.
Beauty Is Only Skin Deep: She thinks she should be famous, but she hasn’t done anything to warrant admiration besides look pretty.
Eau De Desperation: She reeks of needing a man, and she will stop at nothing to bag one. When she’s single, her female friends even feel like they have to hide their boyfriends for fear she will try to pounce.
One-Way Street: You’re constantly doing things for her, but, as Janet Jackson would put it, “What have you done for me lately?” If she’s going to act like a princess, why doesn’t she treat you like the prince of a gentleman you are?
Go Fish: She’s always looking for compliments. You have to constantly reassure her that she’s amazing, but her response always seems to say: “I know.”

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Tags: dating, dating advice, megan wants a millionaire, loser

Comments (28)

comments

Riley
wrote on August 11 2009 @ 12:35 pm: [report]

Great Scott! Have you been talking to a specific lady from my past??

Luckily there was only one that fit this bill completely.

sweetsdjc
wrote on August 11 2009 @ 12:38 pm: [report]

Soo…in summary…you mean Kate Goselin?

conspicuous
wrote on August 11 2009 @ 12:42 pm: [report]

I highly agree with this list. Sadly, the face that Megan has her own VH1 show now, only perpetuates the problem.

writergirl
wrote on August 11 2009 @ 12:43 pm: [report]

I know someone who actually exhibits all thirteen signs…

Riley
wrote on August 11 2009 @ 12:45 pm: [report]

Oh yes, thanks for the article! I was beginning to think I had to be hairy to browse this site.

slip
wrote on August 11 2009 @ 01:07 pm: [report]

I was married this woman.

Slipper

bogart4017
wrote on August 11 2009 @ 01:12 pm: [report]

Gotta co-sign #4. Sex as a weapon is so childish and immature. My sister-in-law is like that and it makes me ill. She never fails to threaten my brother with the living room couch at every family gathering. Just once i wish he would inform her that there are a lot of people out there with the same equipment as her.

develange
wrote on August 11 2009 @ 02:15 pm: [report]

Yay, I like hearing from guys. These are good signs that a woman in a loser. But now I’m rethinking some of these signs, with hopes that I wasn’t a loser in my last relationship…

12. my ex did a lot of nice things for me, but they were the grand gestures. He stopped doing the little things, which mattered to me more. It didn’t mean that I didn’t appreciate the gestures.

13. I was often looking for compliments from him because he never gave them to me. Again, stopped giving them after the first few months of dating. I don’t need compliments CONSTANTLY, but I do need them every now and then, especially from someone I love.

So maybe I do have some loser-esque qualities, but I am not a loser. I am working on my confidence and perhaps my taste in men.

Shasta
wrote on August 11 2009 @ 02:32 pm: [report]

One man’s trash is another man’s treasure.

Or maybe one man’s trash is simply trash that another man will settle for.

LostInStars
wrote on August 11 2009 @ 03:11 pm: [report]

Living together means that me and the beau spend a LOT of time together, I don’t know if I’d define it as constantly though. He’s never complained about being suffocated, and I always tell him to hang out with his friends, but his friends insist I come along too. Now you’ve got me all worried, Simcha!

Simcha Whitehill
wrote on August 11 2009 @ 03:31 pm: [report]

@LostInStars,
Paranoia will destroy ya! It sounds like you two have a groovy kinda love. So, no worries. As my dad says, “If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it!”

Lavanderism
wrote on August 11 2009 @ 04:29 pm: [report]

Using sex as a weapon is awful. It’s one of the many hurtful things that’s like a breach of trust. It’s understandable if he’s done something highly upsetting that you don’t want to be intimate at the moment, but it shouldn’t be used when a woman doesn’t get her way, ie “If you don’t take out the trash then you can sleep on the couch.”

Besides, if I’m really angry at someone I’d rather remove myself from the space than put them out.

LunaLena
wrote on August 11 2009 @ 09:05 pm: [report]

Great list! I’ve definitely known some women who fit one or more of those types. Hopefully I don’t, since I have a really wonderful boyfriend whom I’d never want to chase off.

@LostInStars:
I don’t think that’s what Simcha means. I dated an extremely possessive person for a while (he cyberstalked me for over a year after I told him it was over), and he believed that people who are truly in love with each other do EVERYTHING together. In other words, he tried to get into everything I did. My hobbies include art and video gaming. If I mentioned a game I enjoyed, he would immediately play it and then say “I played it, now we can talk about it together.” If I joined an online art community, he joined it too, despite having no prior experience or interest in art. On paper, all of this sounds really sweet, but it wasn’t like that at all in reality. It got creepy because everywhere I went, he seemed to be popping up and trying to take over (he sometimes claimed that he needed to be there to “protect” me). I ran out of breathing room really quickly. He obsessed about every little thing I said or did, often tackling me afterwards to ask “when you said/did this, were you referring to me?” When I graduated from college and got my first full-time job, he was upset that I wouldn’t be able to spend time with him 24/7 and that I’d be meeting people he didn’t know. He also didn’t understand how I could like or approve of things that he didn’t like or approve of himself.

I have plenty more horror stories about this guy (he even harassed my friends and family after I told him to get lost), and while I think he’s a bit of an extreme example, I think that’s the kind of constant companionship Simcha means (correct me if I’m wrong, Simcha! ^_-).

Titaniumhalos
wrote on August 12 2009 @ 03:00 pm: [report]

Oh you left out one: OVERLY DRAMATIC DRAMA QUEEN. I’ve had a friend with all the traits on that list including the one I listed. Needless to say, she is no longer a friend.

anoldguy
wrote on August 13 2009 @ 07:02 am: [report]

Simcha, I didn’t realize you knew my ex-wife that well…

doe966
wrote on August 13 2009 @ 08:57 am: [report]

I have to disagree with #7. I’m more than happy to show off for her friends (especially the virility part. LOL). And in return, I would expect her to stay away when I’m with my friends “smokin’ and drinkin’ and havin’ a good time”.

Santiago
wrote on August 14 2009 @ 03:15 pm: [report]

Where was this article 6 years ago?!

Infamous
wrote on August 15 2009 @ 09:33 pm: [report]

I thought #1 was really offensive. Having children and staying home with them does not mean you’re “mooching” off of your husband. Being a stay-at-home parent is a difficult and often thankless job.

One of the things feminism has largely damaged is the fact that some women choose to be stay at home moms rather than seek careers outside the home. I don’t think it’s right that that decision is so often put down.

CheeeeEEEEse
wrote on August 15 2009 @ 09:42 pm: [report]

@infamous: No, it certainly does not, it could mean you are a caring individual. But if ‘she’ snags a guy, gets preggers, and lives a cushy life because of that I call bollocks.

Potstirer
wrote on August 17 2009 @ 01:31 pm: [report]

These qulaities were all embodied by my last boyfriend. Except for him getting pregnant. No joke.

I think there’s a slippery slope in blanketting one gender with generalizations. We should strive to be better people.

Psyclone
wrote on August 24 2009 @ 12:19 am: [report]

Sounds like you’re talking about my possibly soon to be ex wife.

Red_Lady
wrote on August 24 2009 @ 12:45 am: [report]

@Infamous, I agree that there is absolutely nothing wrong with being a stay-at-home parent, I wish more people did it. But the way I read number 1 was that the woman gets pregnant solely for the purpose of tying her man to her financially. Someone who is more focused on having her husband/bf support her, instead of being responsible and taking care of her child.

kad
wrote on August 30 2009 @ 02:56 pm: [report]

I didn’t see it until after the relationship was over, but after one girlfriend was laid off, she had a suspiciously difficult time finding another job that was the right ‘fit’. One employer was creepy, another hit on her, another was too far away.

All the while I was going slowly bankrupt, and I would come home to the sight of something new she had purchased. Begging her to get a job, any job, was pointless.

A year of that in a good job market and I finally gave her the heave ho. I realized that she just wanted me to provide for her. Children weren’t an issue, and if they aren’t, I have always believed that both people need to have their own social group outside of the home, the relationship.

#1 without the kids. Definitely.
And #9.

OKSUNI
wrote on October 6 2009 @ 09:29 pm: [report]

so what’s the difference between using sex as a weapon and not wanting to have sex with someone who has pissed you off???

I have never done something like ‘if you don’t do (whatever) I am not having sex with you’....but I have been in a fight with a boyfriend and refused to have sex until he apologized for whatever he did….is that bad?

I just can’t have sex with someone while Im pissed off.

That is the only one I might be even close to.

cooldad
wrote on October 21 2009 @ 05:09 pm: [report]

Perhaps I’ve been blessed in my choices, but all of these ‘types’ sound so heinous, I don’t understand how a guy ends up in a LT relationship before realizing it. Maybe I’m taking these stereotypes too literally and it’s typically something that leaks out over time?