10 Ways To Punish A Cheater That Are Totally Legal And Not (Too) Psycho

I Go To 11
wrote on August 6 2009 @ 08:06 am: [report]

A lot of these fall under my favorite method of revenge against some that’s done you wrong: live a good life. It makes them CRAZY to see that their bad actions didn’t destroy you.

writergirl
wrote on August 6 2009 @ 08:13 am: [report]

The mom one is the BEST.

A guy I was dating—who asked me a few times to marry him, but I said no—broke up with me—without breaking up with me (you know, never heard from him again kind of thing)—and started dating my best friend.  Long story short, he had always wanted her, settled for me because I was the closest he could have at the time.  Which is probably why I said no.

When the Best Friend and I compared notes after we got back in touch, years later, *she* had told his mom what he had done to me and his mom reamed him.  Apparently, too, the mom reamed him at least twice a year for being “less than a man” to me and not “treating me as I deserved.”

And the beauty of it all was I never said a word.

tempaccount
wrote on August 6 2009 @ 08:14 am: [report]

this is a terrible post - most of these don’t make sense. gain weight? send angry emails? hah.

also, i think you should listen to the lyrics of untouchable. go on. have a listen.

listened? alright, now where exactly is ANY mention of a past relationship? none. it’s about wanting someone you can’t have. the “douchebag” who caused it didn’t do anything apart from having ani difranco think he and her could never be together.

so yeah, terrible article.

Dollface Minx
wrote on August 6 2009 @ 08:21 am: [report]

I don’t think I’d go as far as “punishing a cheater.”
If that ever happened to me, I’d flat-out just leave him.
No questions asked.

GAgirlinNYC
wrote on August 6 2009 @ 08:21 am: [report]

@tempaccount- Wow. I sense some hostility here. Could you be a male? Maybe this hit a little too close to home?

lostrun
wrote on August 6 2009 @ 08:31 am: [report]

Yeah, bad post.  Some of these suggestions (1,2,3,5) are passive-aggressive and immature in my book.  And they reinforce the points from “OMG, Women Do The Craziest Things on Facebook!” post a few weeks ago.  The best way to get even w/ a cheater, live a good, fulfilling life and always act dignity.  Showing that you are better off w/o them is the best revenge, what #10 is advocating.  And secretly, it’s okay to burn/destroy anything he left.  That’s good catharsis.

sadie
wrote on August 6 2009 @ 08:32 am: [report]

You forgot go on a very fabulous vacation with friends and take pics of yourself with all the hot people you meet on your trip and post them online.

Dollface Minx
wrote on August 6 2009 @ 08:33 am: [report]

I’m totally a gnarly pie dollface of a female!  hee hee
No, I just DON’T deal with bullcrap.  Once a cheater, always a cheater and I’ve witnessed my girlfriends go through the hassle.
Nope.  I wouldn’t forgive it.  Not worth fighting for in my book, then again, that’s only my opinion.  To each their own, I say.  Also another important decision factor for me:  I DON’T WANT TO CATCH A NASTY DISEASE!  Eeeeeek!
But if you feel differently, hey, that’s you!  Ha ha!
Holler.

Riley
wrote on August 6 2009 @ 08:34 am: [report]

@GAgirlinNYC - Yes, must be a male.  To disagree with an author that happens to be female, you must be a male.

Perhaps read a little into the name TempAccount and realize that he/she is a troll.

B1ll
wrote on August 6 2009 @ 08:44 am: [report]

6 might make sense as does just ignoring him.  But why give anyone the satisfaction of knowing you’re even thinking about him.  He’s out of your life.  He wasn’t worth having around in the first place.  As I go to 11 says, live a good life.  It will drive him crazy when he finds out you didn’t react.

iHEARTcats
wrote on August 6 2009 @ 08:54 am: [report]

U should do what I do and have ur CATS use his dresser drawers and his computer keybored as they’re LITTERBOX.  and if hes really bad then when hes sleeping go all over his UGLY LYING FACE TO!!!!

tempaccount
wrote on August 6 2009 @ 09:03 am: [report]

haha… i say something you disagree with so i must be a male. well, i’m not, but it’s not like that really has anything to do with anything, i just think this post is a load of rubbish.

also, i’m not a troll, i just don’t make a habit of signing up to websites, and i’m certainly not giving a real email address to get spammed to just to leave a comment.

this article reads like the worst anti-feminist crap you find on the internet nowadays. SHUCKS, US GIRLS ARE CRAZY, HUH?

Riley
wrote on August 6 2009 @ 09:12 am: [report]

@Tempaccount - That is just my first thought when reading handles like that.

More to the point of the article, these 10 ways are some of the most childish things I have read.  Do whatever you want, but anyone with some sense will see right through the elaborate passive-agressive stunts.

The only one that makes sense on the list is 10, just get over it and smile next time you see them.  The cheater did you a favor; you are out of a bad relationship and free to move on to someone worth your time.

retro chic
wrote on August 6 2009 @ 09:15 am: [report]

Now this takes some planning and cunning (and stupid): I just heard on the news about a married cheater who promised marriage to 3 other mistresses. They found out about each other and staged humiliation and revenge at a motel. The 4 women bound and gagged him, confronted then Krazy Glued is offending parts to his leg. They are now out on $200 bail.

Article on revenge on cheater by wife and 3 mistress:
http://www.nydailynews.com/news/us_world/2009/08/04/2009-08-04_wife_takes_revenge_on_cheating_husband_teams_up_with_his_lovers_for_ambush_.html

I’m not vengeful, just walk away and inevitably hear bad news about them that no vengeance of mine alone could achieve. I let the fate of one’s own actions do my dirty work.

guitarfoool
wrote on August 6 2009 @ 10:58 am: [report]

ok.. granted cheating is wrong .. i’m not defending it, but there are some good things that come out of it, and these good things along with other things don’t justify punishing someone

mainly, when a dude cheats, it sheds light on the reality of the relationship.. whether he doesn’t care for you or whether he is just a polygamist… in any event, the girl knows the male better than before and she can use this information to either breakup or amend the relationship parameters…

more, punishing someone for cheating just drags everything out and says a lot negative things about you to other people… for example, if you catch him cheating and breakup then spend time slandering him or whatever, you are spending worthless time.. life is too short.. also, you are dropping to his level!  what gain is there to be had for yourself.. some guys might retaliate and slander you, maybe even to future male prospects, which might ruin your chances… and, even if the guy is totally in the wrong, the drama that you create could impact your future career, other relationships ect.. stand above the pettiness and be mature..

getting cheated on sucks.. but its not the job of the female race to punish males for their lewd behavior… have faith in karma and yourself!

dareka
wrote on August 6 2009 @ 11:30 am: [report]

I dunno, other than #10 the rest of these seem kind of immature. Taking photos with a hot guy friend and posting them on your facebook seems kind of obvious and desperate, as does losing 10lbs to look hot. I agree with Riley, though I might not be mature enough to avoid a good hard slap before following through with #10.

Coral
wrote on August 6 2009 @ 12:26 pm: [report]

@guitarfool: I couldn’t agree more.

elizabethmarley
wrote on August 6 2009 @ 01:45 pm: [report]

Number 7, for sure. The Freeze Out is the best thing you can possibly do. At the risk of sounding kind of vindictive, when I broke up with my SuperCheater ex, all of my friends encouraged me to just cut off all communication because, as one friend put it, “It will totally kill his soul.”

It basically resulted in the guy freaking out a mere TWO WEEKS later and calling to yell…at my voicemail.

The Freeze Out was also the best way to quickly move on since I wasn’t calling him all the time or obsessing over *his* facebook.

Lioozhe
wrote on August 6 2009 @ 02:08 pm: [report]

Here’s what I do in a similar situation:

1)  Process what I found out with close friends of mine.
2)  Go to an Alanon meeting (my Mom and brother were alcoholics)
  and talk about it.
3)  Make an appointment with my counselor and talk about it.
4)  Reveal what I know to the girlfriend.
5)  Walk away, don’t respond to calls or emails.
6)  Cry a lot, get angry a lot.
7)  Keep going to counseling, talking to friends, going to
  meetings, going to chatrooms devoted to recovery, write a  
  song about the experience and what it brings up for me.
8)  Get busy doing things that I love, hang out with friends who
  are ok with me going through what I’m going through and who
  don’t give advice.
9)  Take up a new hobby that is challenging to me in ways I always
  wanted to be challenged.  Don’t date for a while.  Heal.  Go
  to my mens’ group every month.  Vegetable garden.  Hang out
  guy friends.  Start a new business.

Lioozhe
wrote on August 6 2009 @ 02:11 pm: [report]

Oh, by the way, I was cheering the women who took revenge on that guy until I found out that at least one of them was married herself.

toyen
wrote on August 6 2009 @ 02:12 pm: [report]

“Living well is the best revenge.”

moonblossom
wrote on August 6 2009 @ 02:54 pm: [report]

“Silence is the most perfect expression of scorn.” George Bernard Shaw

tigerstripe
wrote on August 6 2009 @ 02:57 pm: [report]

Number 4 made my day!

Oliveira
wrote on August 7 2009 @ 04:27 am: [report]

Those can be neatly divided into borderline psycho (would YOU like it if he sent your mails around? like the ones where you call him your little pink rabbit and can’t wait to get home and give him a little bj?), childish (pictures with the best friend) and, indeed, “living a good life is the best revenge” ones.

When I was dealing with an arsehole, I just blocked him everywhere I could. No point in altering MY life to “punish” him—the biggest punishment for him should be not having me as his boyfriend. I’m far too glamorous and amazing to spend time on guys like him. Mind you, I did obsess about him, I did cry, I did feel very lonely and almost on the verge of calling him, I did get far too drunk and I did fantasise about him being repeatedly driven over by a car while I am watching. But I never shared that information with him. And I definitely never took photos of me with my best friend and sent them his way. That way madness lies.

Iammina
wrote on August 7 2009 @ 07:35 pm: [report]

I would just dump him and move on without looking back. That is the best revenge. I believe that once a guy cheats he will always be a cheater and not worth wasting my emotions on, well, not in front of him anyway. Why waste time with a looser when Mr. Wonderful might be right around the corner just waiting for you to find him.

Jill
wrote on August 13 2009 @ 10:59 am: [report]

As a girl who cheated on her boyfriend, sometimes the thing that hurts the cheater worst is taking the high road.  Fighting, yelling, revenge, didn’t hurt half as much as him ignoring my calls and telling me I hurt him and he didn’t want anything to do with me.  The next best thing to tell your cheater is “Karma is a bitch.”  I worry constantly that karma is going to come back and get me someday.  If the cheater wasn’t a completely heartless being, chances are he/she will beat himself/herself up every day for the next year and feel bad.  Getting revenge doesn’t make it worse, being happy and unconcerned with the cheater does.

GAgirl
wrote on August 13 2009 @ 12:44 pm: [report]

Aww Jill, thanks for your honesty.  I agree being happy is the best revenge!  And, karma is a bitch…but, in your case I hope its not as it seems you’ve learned from your mistake and are sincerely regretful and apologetic about cheating.  Two wrongs don’t make a right and I hope that you go forward in life spreading the good karma and have it returned back to you.

bbpickles
wrote on August 14 2009 @ 08:54 am: [report]

How about NO revenge…..Seriously, it’s stupid and a waste of time.  Not only do you spend more time thinking and dwelling on your ex, it’s not going to take away your hurt feelings…..

I am not saying it’s right, but I laughed when I heard about the super glue story!  The “victim” in this situation is now in jail himself for abusing his children…...

Wickenham
wrote on August 19 2009 @ 12:37 pm: [report]

First off, I’m going to admit to being male, just so it’s understood where my opinion partially comes from.

Two things about “cheating” articles tend to bug me.

#1 Cheaters in these articles are usually refered to as “He”.  Not always, but usually.  I understand that a higher percentage of cheaters are men, but we all know women cheat too, so we should stop generalizing.  It’s unfortunate no matter if it’s a guy or girl.

#2 “Once a cheater, always a cheater”  This might be true for some, but not all.  And if it’s not true, there might be an underlying reason as to why they did it.

My situation is a perfect example of both.  I spent the past year stationed in Japan, without my wife of 8 years.  We had a few fights in the first couple months, but we missed each other.  Around the 5th month, she breaks down and tells me that she was with another man.  It hurt, very much so, because I never saw it coming.  I told her this and offered two options, we seek counseling when I return and try to work things out, or we separate with the possiblity of divorce, seeing if we’re better off without each other.  The fact that I calm about it, though hurt is what drove her nuts.  She was expecting me to run telling her family, scream obscenities at her, and post everything I could about her on MySpace/Facebook. 

Now as for the “once a cheater” thing, she didn’t cheat because she always a cheater.  There were multiple reasons, such as my lack of romance after 8 years, the fact that I choose to go to Japan alone, instead of taking her, which would’ve have resulted in us being there 3 years instead of 1.  And of course, the lack of physical contact she had resulting from me leaving.

But since I returned, we’ve been stronger and better than ever.  I do believe it was a one time thing.  So there are certain circumstances where a cheater might deserve a second chance.  But please be wary, as each situation needs to be looked at indiviually.

But as for the suggestions in this article, they are childish.  The best “revenge” you could take on a cheater is to be calm and move on.  If you can be more mature about the situation, you will end up a better person in the end.

EastCoastMale
wrote on November 3 2009 @ 11:47 am: [report]

I agree in that it was a bad article in my own opinion. I think the majority of those items would still make you seem crazy, be it female or male (obviously activities adjusted if you are a male).

The use of “he” in most cheating articles is pretty biased I agree but the places where you see that used are most often on sites or in columns geared towards females so it’s not like it is an unbiased forum.

Lastly I agree with bbpickles in that revenge or punishment of a cheater if the relationship is over is a waste of time. The simple fact that you are giving it the thought and energy makes you seem a bit crazy in my opinion.

chasingstars
wrote on November 3 2009 @ 01:26 pm: [report]

For the man who loves his car: drop a ping pong ball in his gas gas tank. while the car is in motion, the engine is sucking gas from the tank and the ball will eventually get sucked down and stop the flow, meaning his car will stop running. He’ll turn off the car, thus turning off the suction and the ball will float back to the top. By the time he figures it out, he’ll have to pay a pretty penny to fix it.

Or, just place thumb tacks under the front passenger tire. When he backs out, OPPS!

Oh wait, you mentioned they had to be legal…. hmmmm

TinaLish
wrote on November 3 2009 @ 02:40 pm: [report]

I definitely think the hardest thing for me is not contacting him.  He’s doing such a great job of not contacting me, maybe I should take a hint and be more like him.  My ex never cheated persay, but heartache still feels the same.

It resonates with you in places you just want to know how to feel again.  Hurts the same.  But I think this list is an awesome list, and I’m going to change my outlook on my life and stop living in the past. 

I know I’m worth the world and more, and someday someone will see that, and until that day comes I’m just going to smile.

Why should I let him, or anyone else know I’m still healing?  Nah, I got this.  Time for a drastic change.

The best revenge I believe is living your life for yourself.  And when that person that wronged you sees you smiling, they’ll be the one with regrets.  What could be better than that?