10 Tips For Denim Shopping With The Boyfriend
Posted by: Lily Q
Filed in:
style
5:00PM, Tuesday October 27th 2009
Many boys wear bad jeans. Not always, but it happens. Next time your boy goes denim shopping, tag along and keep him from making the same mistakes once again. Whether that boy is your boyfriend, your dad or any other male with whom you spend any amount of time, they’ll resent you at the time but appreciate it once they realize it no longer looks like their asses are eating their pants.
- Boys shouldn’t wear skinny jeans. Period. Next.
- Avoid pockets that are too big, small, low or embellished at all costs. There’s really no reason to have a rhinestone-encrusted tiger on your ass.
- Jeans should hover no more than an inch above the ground at the heel and no less than half an inch below. Hemming the new denim will cost maybe $10, so talk him into it.
- If you can see half of his boxers, shut it down.
- Really light washes are for farmers. A dark indigo with minimal distressing is most flattering.
- Unless the flare is very, very slight, boot cut jeans have limited place in a man’s closet. Straight leg ones, however, are almost universally flattering.
- He may not realize it, but black or dark gray denim can be worn almost like trousers for a night out. We call that multi-tasking.
- Cats have whiskers. Pants shouldn’t. That silly over-distressing popular amongst gel-haired, Ed Hardy-wearing club fondlers is a no.
- Just because Obama can pull of mom jeans doesn’t mean your boyfriend can. He may be full on awesome, but he’s just not cool enough—aka POTUS—to cancel out the hideousness. We promise.
- A button fly is hot. We don’t know why. It just is.
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theattack
wrote on October 27 2009 @ 04:16 pm: [report]
Oh my gosh, someone please anonymously send this post to my boyfriend. He does not believe me. I will disagree about the button fly, though. Too much work to get off…
amorrisnyy
wrote on October 27 2009 @ 04:58 pm: [report]
can you please change the of to OFF for obama wearing mom jeans? i want to share this article!
Perceptible
wrote on October 27 2009 @ 05:21 pm: [report]
If only jeans makers would stop making the stupid jeans for men like skinny jeans and mom jeans and rhinestone studded jeans. Then this list could be a lot shorter because their choices would be limited. And men wonder why they have fewer choices than women. They have so few choices and they STILL make fashion faux pas. I guess that’s why they have us.
Mariabeth67
wrote on October 27 2009 @ 05:30 pm: [report]
Button fly? HELL. YEAH.
theothergyllenhaal
wrote on October 27 2009 @ 05:33 pm: [report]
Two things:
Button flies generally destroy the purpose of a fly on men’s jeans — easy access at the urinal. As a result, a guy is forced to unbelt and open all the way from the top. Feels weird and vulnerable.
Don’t know where you live, but in NYC, hemming jeans so that you keep the original hem costs more like $20 or up. (Dear god, never lose the original hem.) There are a lot of places that will screw up the job. I’ve had a few nice pairs botched. Get recommendations.
Selvage denim is key. He’ll hate it the first two weeks, and love it every week after once it conforms perfectly to his body.
theothergyllenhaal
wrote on October 27 2009 @ 05:35 pm: [report]
That was three things. <sigh>
Amelia McDonell-Parry
wrote on October 27 2009 @ 05:41 pm: [report]
well hello there @theothergyllenhaal we’ve missed your comments! in regards to your first two points: totally understand why button fly makes you feel “vulnerable,” but I agree with Lily—they are still hotter than a zipper. no real reason for that.
as for hemming, i think you can find $10 places—tailor/dry cleaning combos—but yes, get recs. nothing worse than getting a pair of too long jeans turned into capris. or in your case, MANpris.
lea322
wrote on October 27 2009 @ 05:54 pm: [report]
@Ameila: I’d say manpris qualify as worse than capris. Ugh.
cattgirl813
wrote on October 27 2009 @ 07:33 pm: [report]
@theothergyllenhaal: I read your post and immmdiately thought, “Nobody likes denim imposition!”
(Here’s a link if you don’t get the reference:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CSe38dzJYkY)
Memento Mori
wrote on October 27 2009 @ 07:58 pm: [report]
Okay, am I the only chick who doesn’t get the button fly? What’s the point of that?
Lynn
wrote on October 27 2009 @ 07:59 pm: [report]
#4 ahhhh! My guy cares about how he looks but the only thing he seems NOT to care about is the fact that his boxers are always poking out the back. It’s so bad that he’ll be standing up straight and a little “puff” of boxers will find a way to peek out between the shirt and pants. Both his pants AND underwear are too big, and I tell him this all the time, I go up behind him and hike his pants up, and he just DOES NOT listen. Because he cares so much about how he looks I’m inclined to believe that he actually prefers this look, which is mind-boggling to me because he is smarter than that.
Also, I think button flies are hot because they are more industrial and therefore, manlier!
Ciao99
wrote on October 27 2009 @ 09:55 pm: [report]
#4: Underwear goes inside the pants. Shouldn’t see any boxers.
starlinex
wrote on October 27 2009 @ 10:18 pm: [report]
Just like skinny jeans on women, there are some dudes who can totally pull it off and look fantastic in them.
Meg
wrote on October 28 2009 @ 12:02 am: [report]
The allure of the button fly is this: it’s a little trickier to unbutton so it adds to the suspense. The more you fumble and inadvertently fondle, the better. By the time you finally get his pants off, his -err- anticipation will be immense
adamjs
wrote on October 28 2009 @ 02:09 am: [report]
List seems sound for the most part; but I’m with theothergyllenhaal on the button-fly thing being a problem. Two main reasons:
1. They add like a good 2-3 minutes of hanging around a men’s urinal; and I’m not sure how much time you guys spend hanging around a men’s urinal—but they usually smell so bad you want to hurl. Quick-in, quick-out; and
2. Buttons on a fly always fall to pieces. They get caught on random things, bumped, torn off in a fit of trying to urinate, and so on and so fourth.
Blazicus
wrote on October 28 2009 @ 07:52 am: [report]
Thank you so much for #1, i have really been thinking that i’m just crazy.
Blazicus
wrote on October 28 2009 @ 07:55 am: [report]
Buttons also take longer to get off when its time to get busy but if women prefer buttons . . .it’s cyclical.
A.J.R.
wrote on October 28 2009 @ 09:28 am: [report]
Along with skinny jeans, another disturbing trend that should be outlawed: Mens’ Low Rise Jeans. I (inadvertently) tried on a pair one time and I felt so, so dirty. And trust me, NO ONE wants to see half of my backside. As a lifelong Levi’s man, I was very disappointed.
Thanks for the tips, though I must take issue with numbers 5 and 10. A light wash makes the jeans look a bit more faded and broken in a little quicker which is my preferred look; the right faded wash can make for a great casual but put together look (think oxford shirt, faded jeans and Chuck Taylors). And I’ll agree with the other guys here that a button fly is just a PAIN IN THE @55.
I try my best with jeans and my wife generally seems to like what I pick out. She’s also given me some good pointers (my jeans finally crotch in the right place!) I like straight leg, but tapered seem to fit me a little better.
Ciao99
wrote on October 29 2009 @ 08:45 pm: [report]
@ Lynn:
What your boyfriend has is called a “wedgie”. In high school, it was something tough guys gave you when you weren’t strong enough to defend yourself in the locker room.