10 Things Women Don't Understand About Men

ginger543
wrote on August 7 2009 @ 11:44 am: [report]

I never could get into Star Wars. I always thought it was funny that men usually blame the woman in the relationship for arriving late to any situation, when in all actuality, it took them too damn long to get up and get ready.

Raugiel
wrote on August 7 2009 @ 11:45 am: [report]

I love starwars, but starwars marathons were a family rainy day activity when I was a kid…

B1ll
wrote on August 7 2009 @ 11:51 am: [report]

They don’t all apply but I’ll take a stab at it:

1. Ego
2. Convenience. By the way, I don’t see women avoiding those gadgets.
3. It’s all the games we played/liked as kids rolled into one. Keep in mind you always call us childish.
4. MEN DON’T HUG!
5. Nope, for us. Like the extra space to stretch out.
6. Why are you so hung up on “edgy” guys
7. That one is too individual: Cowardice, shame, feel bad about hurting someone, list can go on forever.
8. Haven’t the slightest
9. Again, depends on the guy: We meant to call when we asked but someone else came along, we lost it, we just wanted to win the bet, etc., etc., etc.
10. Smell what?

VsegdaOdna
wrote on August 7 2009 @ 11:51 am: [report]

7 7 7 7 7 7 7 7 7 I’ll never understand the issue with number 7.

ChoJinn
wrote on August 7 2009 @ 11:52 am: [report]

Easy:

1) Because we should be able to find our way without them, under pretty much any circumstances. Satisfaction derived from doing this is worth the extra time it may take.
3) Star Wars is great, period. Effects, Princess Leia, and, from a Freudian perspective, it’s all about a boy/man’s struggle to triumphantly succeed his parents.
5) Nothing wrong with extra room, when allowable.
6) Physically attractive girls can afford to be bitchy (or have other unattractive qualities), so reflexively if we put up with bitchy girls, it’s because they are hot(ter), usually.
9) Sometimes we ask for a number out of regret for wasting your time. Other times its to save an otherwise unsuccessful night out; the phone number is a victory, albeit a very small one.

B1ll
wrote on August 7 2009 @ 11:53 am: [report]

@Ginger543. Sorry, but I don’t want to think about the amount of time I’ve stood around waiting for a lady (yes, I went there) to be ready.

Kathls
wrote on August 7 2009 @ 11:54 am: [report]

the holy spirit? LMAO!!!

impoddity
wrote on August 7 2009 @ 11:57 am: [report]

I loved Star Wars for one simple reason: Harrison Ford. He was, and is, still smokin’ hot!

feinicstine
wrote on August 7 2009 @ 12:02 pm: [report]

Hey, I love Star Wars. I get it. In fact, I think I get most of these. Here we go.

1, 7, 9: fear of failure or being perceived as weak (because of societal pressure to be the manly man)
2, 3, 8, 10: Perpetual childhood
4, 5: Homophobia (thank society again)
6: Yeah, I don’t know. I’m going to go with ChoJinn on it.

Jessica Wakeman
wrote on August 7 2009 @ 12:13 pm: [report]

Also: there is a quarter of an inch of soap scum in the bottom of this bathtub, why are we bathing in it?

Raugiel
wrote on August 7 2009 @ 12:23 pm: [report]

@ChoJinn -

I have some guy friends who seem to always pick the bitchiest girl who is also REALLY unattractive. These are guys who I have SEEN get offers from much more attractive women (I don’t know how nice they were, but they were clearly better looking) and turned them down. I have always wondered what is up with that (the guy usually insists his new bitchqueen GF is hot, defying all logic). If you have the answer, throw it my way!

Also, none of this is very fair. I’ve met women with all of these qualities and I’ve met men with stereotypically “female” qualities. As someone who is not into fuss or muss in the morning, I usually find myself waiting for the others in the group, men and women…

Susannah Breslin
wrote on August 7 2009 @ 12:30 pm: [report]

This is hilar.

thesleepingman
wrote on August 7 2009 @ 12:40 pm: [report]

What is so hard about asking for directions?
It’s not hard it’s unnecessary. I am exactly where I want to be, completely and utterly lost.

Why do you need a gadget to unlock your car door?
It’s cool? Duh.

What is it about “Star Wars”?
I couldn’t tell you, it’s just another movie trilogy to me.

And the “bro hug”? Hug it out or don’t hug it out, you know?
Cultural differences. Indian men hold hands, American men bro hug. Wouldn’t you raise an eyebrow if you saw your boyfriend holding hands with one of his friends?

When you keep one seat between you and your buddy at the movies, are you saving room for the holy spirit or what?
Arm room… *cough

Why are you so hung up on the bitchy girls?
Haha, I’m not. I actually do my best to avoid all contact with them.

If you want to break up with us, why don’t you say so?
Because you cry and we don’t like people being sad, that’s why we don’t cry.

Forget about putting the seat down, why don’t you ever change the toilet paper roll?
Pshh, tissues are basically pre-ripped tp.

Why do you ask for our number if you have no intention of calling?
Why do dogs bark?

Seriously, do you not smell that?
Nope, I really don’t.

Riley
wrote on August 7 2009 @ 12:54 pm: [report]

1. I have no problem asking, just a problem paying attention.
2. You’ll thank me for it when it is raining or freezing out and you don’t have to wait for me to unlock your door manually.
3. What is it with Twilight?
4. Seinfeld has addressed the man-hug, further discussion is not required.
5. Those seats are tiny and I like to use both arm rests if possible.
6. The same reason women are always hung up on the jackass ex.
7. Avoiding confrontation and talking about things.
8. Usually when I run out of TP it is because it is in use, no time to change rolls - need the backup ASAP.
9. Timing, loss of interest, that bitchy girl finally returned my call.
10. Yes, I smell it; if I ignore it long enough it will go away.

LostInStars
wrote on August 7 2009 @ 01:19 pm: [report]

@Riley: As a long time admirer of your commentary, may I say I love you?

bogart4017
wrote on August 7 2009 @ 02:01 pm: [report]

#5-because we have space issues dammit! Why do you think we don’t want you up under us all the time?

writergirl
wrote on August 7 2009 @ 02:22 pm: [report]

YOu all are hilarious.

SomeGuy84
wrote on August 7 2009 @ 04:20 pm: [report]

#1: I just don’t like it, but I will if I have to.

#2: Don’t have a gadget for my car, I just use the key, but I do love gadgets in general.

#3: Star Wars is ok, I’ll watch if if it’s all that’s on.

#4: Bro hug? I have a lot of ‘bros,’ I was in a fraternity, I don’t really get this one.

#5: As stupid as you think it is that we leave the seat empty, it is for us as to why it matters to you.

#6: Bitchy girls… this is a good one for this list. It’s because we know that there’s no way we’d ever wanna marry a bitchy girl, so that takes a lot of the fear away. For me anyways, it’s scary to talk to a girl that I think I actually could have a substantial future with. With a bitchy girl it’s just like, ‘alright, i’ll do this for a couple weeks.’

#7: Never had a problem with this, I’m very straightforward.

#8: Don’t notice it as often as girls do for obvious reasons.

#9: At first we do intend to call, then it’s like, I’ll call her tomorrow, so on and so on, until it’s so late we think we’d look foolish.

#10: Like someone above said, ‘smell what?’

Tarvold
wrote on August 7 2009 @ 05:48 pm: [report]

1. Meh… we’ll figure it out… it’s just around the corner… isn’t it?
2. Because deep down inside, we all want to be Bond.
3. Gadgets, sword fights, the force, leia, fast flying machines firing lasers at each other, abusive father and his final redemption… er.. hello?
4. Man contact is evil. Seriously.
5. When there’s only one arm rest between you, how do you avoid unholy man contact? Best to avoid whenever possible.
6. Ego. Because deep down, we all want to be Tarzan… the one who tamed the beast.
7. Because even though we can’t stand your crazy, we care.
8. Meh… there’s always the magazines…
9. Trophy? Impressing the boys? Found someone better? Because somewhere inside, we already know who we want to date next… we just haven’t figured out how to get her attention.
10. Smell that!??!? I’m PROUD of it! Give me a lighter, I want to light up the next one…

cadyms
wrote on August 7 2009 @ 08:22 pm: [report]

No guesses here, just my (female) way of dealing with each:

1. What is so hard about asking for directions?

I stop someone on the street and ask. My bf stays in the background, says “oh that makes sense” and off we go. Harder if we’re in the car, unless I can convince him to pull over. But he’s better w/me doing it than with him doing it, and I have no problem asking!

2. Why do you need a gadget to unlock your car door?

I don’t get this one. A key? Or the remote thing that came with the car? I’d use that if I had one.

3. What is it about “Star Wars”?

He enjoys Star Wars with the guys, but I rock Star Trek and Lord of the Rings and find it incredibly geeky and sexy that he does too!

4. And the “bro hug”? Hug it out or don’t hug it out, you know?

My guy just says “hey,” so can’t help ya there.

5. When you keep one seat between you and your buddy at the movies, are you saving room for the holy spirit or what?

Hmmm…never seen this, as I guess I’m not there when it’s just him and a buddy.

6. Why are you so hung up on the bitchy girls?

Cause you’re under 25 or you’re sadomasochistic or she’s really, really hot.

7. If you want to break up with us, why don’t you say so?

Cause then you’d be the bad guy and you’d feel guilty, although once you find a woman you have a decent shot at sleeping with you’ll probably get over the guilt.

8. Forget about putting the seat down, why don’t you ever change the toilet paper roll?

My guy does, so can’t help ya out on that one. Sometimes I forget, though…

9. Why do you ask for our number if you have no intention of calling?

Lol, from the world of size 14 girls, I just don’t get the number being asked for thing too often. Albeit I also don’t frequent bars, and tend to being in a long term relationship, but no - there are enough cute young hot things to fight over.

10. Seriously, do you not smell that?

He does, and he uses air freshener. Although I sometimes think the air freshener is worse!

_jsw_
wrote on August 7 2009 @ 09:10 pm: [report]

What is so hard about asking for directions?
Given that even my phone comes with a GPS, and I can buy one for $100, and the car probably has one too, I don’t see the need to stop and ask someone to look at their GPS to give me directions. On a side note, thank God for GPSs coming along to give me a decent answer to this.

Why do you need a gadget to unlock your car door?
Because (a) almost all cars have them now, and (b) it’s easier. Like, you know, cars are easier than walking or hitching rides on passing trains. Easier = better in most cases.

What is it about “Star Wars”?
When we were young and powerless, it made us feel like we could become powerful and important and get the girl. Even if she turned out to be our sister.

And the “bro hug”? Hug it out or don’t hug it out, you know?
I’m on the “don’t hug it out” side of that fence.

When you keep one seat between you and your buddy at the movies, are you saving room for the holy spirit or what?
It doubles the chance that a hot chick will randomly sit next to us. Duh.

Why are you so hung up on the bitchy girls?
Because they’re better in bed.

If you want to break up with us, why don’t you say so?
I think we assume that, if things have sunk to the point that even we know it’s not working, surely you must already have figured it out.

Forget about putting the seat down, why don’t you ever change the toilet paper roll?
Can’t help you on this. I’m a freak about ensuring there’s always at least one backup roll in addition to the next-batter-up roll. I will never run out of TP.

Why do you ask for our number if you have no intention of calling?
I’ve never done that and - I swear - have always called every number I’ve ever asked for.

Seriously, do you not smell that?
Of course. But it’s masking the smell of our farts.

Added bonus: Also: there is a quarter of an inch of soap scum in the bottom of this bathtub, why are we bathing in it?
Um, because it’s soap? Is this a trick question?

stiffinp
wrote on August 8 2009 @ 07:37 pm: [report]

Lesse, heres my take on this.
1)If I am still in North America, am I really lost?
2)I don’t need a gadget. The other item on my key ring is called “a key”.
3)Star Wars??? Excuse me, but STAR TREK rules!!!!
4)I did a bro hug once. It didn’t go very well.
5)No, we’re just waiting for a cute girl to fill it.
6)I’m not hung up on bitchy girls. I just ignore them.
7)Guilt. We have feelings too, you know.
8)Because I can’t find it, along with half of the other things in the house! Maybe its in the shed!
9)So I will be prepared if I decide to call.
10)Yes. Its the last person who sat in this chair!

I hope this clears up any more confusion about my gender.

taalibba
wrote on August 9 2009 @ 06:28 pm: [report]

I’m confused, what distinguishes a bro hug from a regular hug? Is that the quick tight hug with the pat on the back thing? Because I still consider that a hug.

What I don’t get…why the weird aversion to certain movies? Why is any movie that has any emotion it it automatically marked a “chick flick” even if that emotion is coming from men. If the answer is that real men dont do that, then why are soldiers in movies allowed to show the same emotion? Just thinkin out loud here, but I’d love to get peoples opinions

Lioozhe
wrote on August 9 2009 @ 09:17 pm: [report]

1. I don’t find it hard to ask for directions. I often enjoy trying to figure out things on my own though and seldom truly get lost.
2. I don’t believe in power anything, including locks, windows, doors, steering. The power steering belt fell off my truck a year ago and I never replaced it.
3. I’ve never been a fan of Star Wars. I think some guys like it because it’s based on the work of Leni Riefenstahl and exudes some of the same power of attraction.
4. I give my close guy friends a big hug and other guys I shake hands with, it’s not really any woman’s business.
5. I never sit a seat away from anyone unless they’re wearing cologne or perfume I can’t stand.
6. I guess it depends on your definition of “bitchy”. I think some guys like them because at least they know where the girls stand on things instead of them acting subservient, dishonest or passive aggressive. Sort of like Jack Nicholson for women.
7. I keep breaking up with you, it’s just that my dislike for you hasn’t yet overcome my sexual attraction. This is your fault for treating our first night in bed together like confession.
8. Ok, you got me on that one.
9. I don’t think I ever asked for a number that I didn’t call. I used to like going out drinking and dancing though and having a great time with a woman I met and then just leaving. Cause it just isn’t going to get any better than that.
10. Man, I wish I hadn’t had raisin bran for breakfast.

TokenMale
wrote on August 9 2009 @ 10:24 pm: [report]

My guess about not calling women back is that the man in question was too drunk and can’t remember the person attached to the phone number clearly enough. Beer goggles are scary things.

pyromantic
wrote on August 10 2009 @ 10:38 am: [report]

Pff, number 8 annoys me. I’m a woman and honestly I don’t know how this annoys you girls. It’s not a big deal.

And Blade Runner is the only good sci-fi with Harrison Ford, end of. Regardless of gender stereotypes.

bethylane
wrote on August 10 2009 @ 03:55 pm: [report]

#2 cracks me up… my guy’s remote keeps screwing up and he acts as though it’s the end of the world. Dude… just use the key.

pragmatryst
wrote on August 10 2009 @ 04:21 pm: [report]

1. What is so hard about asking for directions?
Nothing. If we were alone in the car we would stop after a reasonable attempt at figuring things out on our own. Now that you are in the car asking us WHY we haven’t stopped in that unmistakable tone of suppressed exasperation, the threshold for “reasonable” just got A LOT higher.

2. Why do you need a gadget to unlock your car door?
Why do you need a gadget to masturbate? Some applications are better suited to the use of technology, no?

3. What is it about “Star Wars”?
It’s a Wookie thing. You’re not hairy enough to understand.

4. And the “bro hug”? Hug it out or don’t hug it out, you know?
If we can include YOUR 32 double-D friends collectively as our “bros” I’m game.

5. When you keep one seat between you and your buddy at the movies, are you saving room for the holy spirit or what?
Haven’t you ever listened to Tony Robbins? The supermodel double penetration threesome fantasy is NEVER going to happen if you don’t make space for it in your life.

6. Why are you so hung up on the bitchy girls?
For the last time, there’s nothing going on with the receptionist at my office. The fact that I said she was cute one time has nothing to do with the fact that she constantly disconnects you when you call.

7. If you want to break up with us, why don’t you say so?
Whoa, take it easy, you’re the one who started in with the whole receptionist thing again, not me.

8. Forget about putting the seat down, why don’t you ever change the toilet paper roll?
If there is still a sheet glued to the cardboard roll it technically isn’t used up yet.
9. Why do you ask for our number if you have no intention of calling?
We stretched out with our feelings before we called and the ghost of Ben Kenobi gave you the thumbs down.

10. Seriously, do you not smell that?
Um, wha? Oh, the patchouli? Yeah, sorry I was distracted by the fact that she wasn’t wearing underwear, I mean I think I saw a sign for a sale at Barneys over there.

I Go To 11
wrote on August 10 2009 @ 09:41 pm: [report]

@pragmatryst: Touche on #2, mon frere.

wonderfultonight
wrote on August 15 2009 @ 12:40 pm: [report]

1)probably just because they’re men
2)I’m just as “guilty” - a great convenience when you are loaded down with groceries, shopping bags, etc. And I have a lot of kitchen gadgets, so I can’t complain -though he does, occasionally.
8)Oh, c’mon, guys, changing the toilet paper roll doesn’t cause brain damage.

david42
wrote on August 26 2009 @ 11:25 am: [report]

1.What is so hard about asking for directions?

I do, if i’m sure i can’t figure it out.

2.Why do you need a gadget to unlock your car door?

Why do women need a gadget (key fob is what it’s called)to unlock doors.

3.What is it about “Star Wars”?

Just cool stuff, but i far prefer other movies…

4.And the “bro hug”? Hug it out or don’t hug it out, you know?

If i were sure exactly what this is i might answer.

Kat
wrote on August 26 2009 @ 03:39 pm: [report]

1. I don’t know, but he always makes ME ask.
2. I’m with man-logic on this, everything is better with a remote control.
3. Star Wars is awesome, second only to Star Trek!
4. My guy hugs his man friends in a normal huggy way. I have never heard of this “bro hug”
5. This is dumb, and neither of us would ever do this.
6. My guy HATES the bitchy girls and has attempted to get guy friends who like them to explain the “allure” to him.
7. Never had a guy avoid breaking up with me. Only been dumped once, and he was blunt and earnest.
8. My guy not only puts the seat down, he puts the lid down so our kitty babies won’t fall in. Then he yells at me when *I* don’t change the toilet paper. >_<
9. They always called. I started taking THEIR numbers so I could figure out which ones I wanted to call back. So, maybe the guys are like me?
10. Oh, he smells it. For some reason he can smell the litterbox before the cats even take a tinkle. Living with a neat freak means I’M the one who never has to “smell it”.

GreatSmile82
wrote on August 26 2009 @ 11:00 pm: [report]

Forget Star Wars, what’s with guys and The Godfather trilogy?

MXCP
wrote on September 11 2009 @ 09:55 am: [report]

1. What is so hard about asking for directions?
That’s what the GPS is for.
2. Why do you need a gadget to unlock your car door?
Because it’s cool, like the GPS.
3. What is it about “Star Wars”?
It’s as cool as Star Trek and comic books.
4. And the “bro hug”? Hug it out or don’t hug it out, you know?
Nothing wrong with a hug, like after a Stanley Cup or Super Bowl win.
5. When you keep one seat between you and your buddy at the movies, are you saving room for the holy spirit or what?
Nope, hoping for a hot chick.
6. Why are you so hung up on the bitchy girls?
Hotter ride. But in the long run, the drama isn’t worth it.
7. If you want to break up with us, why don’t you say so?
Thought you would figure it out first.
8. Forget about putting the seat down, why don’t you ever change the toilet paper roll?
There’s paper in the bathroom near the toilet. Isn’t that good enough?
9. Why do you ask for our number if you have no intention of calling?
Small victory.
10. Seriously, do you not smell that?
Of course. But do you want to smell what it covers?

Uncle Larry
wrote on September 11 2009 @ 01:22 pm: [report]

But now the counter-questions:
1A. Why can’t you give directions clearly using street names and addresses, instead of “Turn about a block past the gas station and go down to the yellow house…”?
2A. Why do women need a gadget to masturbate?
3A. What is it about “Twilight”?
4A. And the “nibble” at dinner? Either eat like you enjoy it or skip the meal, you know?
5A. Why do women always go to the restroom together when dining out?
6A. Why are women so hung up on high school dropouts who have no intention of being gainfully employed?
7A If you want us to do something, why don’t you just ask, instead of hinting around and hope we will pick up on it?
8A. Why can’t you keep the toilet paper where it can be reached, rather than in the closet down the hall, or under that crocheted foo-foo thing at the other end of the bathroom?
9A. Why do you hit the heaviest on the guys wearing the wedding ring?
10A. Seriously, didn’t you notice the things turning green/black in the back of the refrigerator?

retro chic
wrote on September 11 2009 @ 02:37 pm: [report]

@Uncle Larry’s counter questions:
Q: 1A"Why can’t you give directions clearly using street names and addresses, instead of “Turn about a block past the gas station and go down to the yellow house…”?

A: Maybe you you should just be direct and ask “How do I Google directions for myself?” instead of asking, “How do I get there?” you know, independent and adult-like. See your own #7A:

“7A If you want us to do something, why don’t you just ask, instead of hinting around and hope we will pick up on it?”

Right? We’re not mind-readers either and don’t have exclusive rights on “passive-aggressive.” heehee

Vanthu
wrote on September 12 2009 @ 11:50 am: [report]

1. What is so hard about asking for directions?
Because I know where I am, just ‘cause you don’t… If I really need them, I will ask, just chill.

2. Why do you need a gadget to unlock your car door?
??? Since when is a guy fumbling for his keys sexy. ‘Scuze me while I get that door for you. I love the way you sliiiide in there, holding my hand.

3. What is it about “Star Wars”?
Star Wars just rocks. Get over it. What is it about purses?

4. And the “bro hug”? Hug it out or don’t hug it out, you know?
Mind your own business. Or I’ll bring it up the next time I see a passive aggressive kissy face girl-girl greeting.

5. When you keep one seat between you and your buddy at the movies, are you saving room for the holy spirit or what?
Breathing room.

6. Why are you so hung up on the bitchy girls?
Bitchy girls are just better in bed. You think I want someone who just lies there? I want someone who gives me what she thinks. And then I’m going to give it back. Good and Hard. Nice girls are bleh. Just tell me you like nice guys.

7. If you want to break up with us, why don’t you say so?
Because the sex tonight might be really hot.
8. Forget about putting the seat down, why don’t you ever change the toilet paper roll?
Takes too much time. Just leave the roll on the counter. It works better.

9. Why do you ask for our number if you have no intention of calling?
Changed my mind. Not enough emotional engagement. See #6.

10. Seriously, do you not smell that?
Smell what?

AChanceAtHeaven
wrote on September 12 2009 @ 11:59 am: [report]

What’s it about Star Wars? Slave Princess Leia. Duh.

CJ1432
wrote on September 22 2009 @ 09:50 pm: [report]

I know you can smell that because I see you trying not to laugh at me, while I try desperately to get out of the car that you have locked me in, with your keyless whatever because I wanted you to ask for directions, but you used the excuse to stop to go to the bathroom because you forgot to buy toilet paper.

CJ1432
wrote on September 22 2009 @ 09:53 pm: [report]

....on the way to see The Empire Strikes back and by that time I’m wishing you hadn’t called me