10 Reasons Why It’s Awesome To Be Single During The Holidays
Posted by: Simcha Whitehill
Filed in:
relationships
1:00PM, Wednesday December 10th 2008
Being single around the holidays can get you extra seasonally depressed. Everywhere I go, I see couples choosing knick-knacks together, making out in front of store windows, and drunkenly leaving parties early so they can go off and do it. Barf! Just kidding, it’s totally cute. I’ve been there and I’ve had a great time getting showered with expensive gifts from boyfriends! But something tells me I’m going to like being footloose and fancy-free this winter. After all, there are plenty of reasons to be happy that I didn’t stick with someone who wasn’t right for me just so I could cash in on a present….well, besides the fact that I’d have to shell out a gift for him too. After the jump, what I’ve discovered about the grass being greener on the single side of the season…
1. I can finally wear that boner-killing beaded holiday sweater that makes me look like Leslie Hall! But, it’s not exactly sexy, so when I’ve got a date to a seasonal holiday celebration, I usually feel like I have to try to look smokin’ and sophisticated. But since I’m single, I’m wearing a “so tacky it’s fabulous” metallic sweater with deer scampering across my boobs. No one would ever want to have sex with me after seeing it, so it works double as free birth control!
2. The only family I’m obligated to see, I’m are also related to. Yay, I can go to my own home and see my own family! Nothing can ruin a holiday quite like walking on eggshells around potential future in laws—like having to sleep in separate rooms. This year, I’m not rehearsing a polite thank you speech for a bad generic gift—or buying crap for a bunch of people I only just met at Thanksgiving.
3. I can take the money I’m saving by not having to buy a boyfriend a present and get myself something pretty and girlie, something no man would ever endorse, like this Swarovski crystal unicorn! It’s so sparkly, I’m blinded with happiness.
4. I don’t have to feel bad if I get too drunk to screw. Egg nog is delicious, but after two cups of creamy goodness, there is no way I could have sexy times. This year, I am drinking three! Mmm, the sweet taste of freedom.
5. I do not have to do the walk of shame in the freezing cold.
6. I can focus on the press junket promoting myself when out at holiday parties stag. I’ll be able to scope out the other available congregating hotties! Plus, people will talk to me about me…not an “us.” Or worse yet, I won’t get trapped talking to one person all night.
7. No, I’m not sitting with anyone, but yes, I will have a second slice of pie, thank you!
8. I can continue to hide my softer side. When I go to barter for a raise at my review, they won’t be able to picture me weak in the knees for a dude. My bitch will remain intact. Which brings me to…
9. I can randomly hook-up with whoever I want, no mistletoe necessary. Here’s how!
10. I do not have to try to impress everyone with my cooking skills—or lack there of. Every guy I’ve ever dated has asked me if I cook and I’ve lied to each and every one of them. “Sure, I’ll just whip up some of my grandma’s special latkas!” Please, my grandma’s doesn’t even cook! This year, I don’t have to hide any frozen food packages. No one is there to judge my skills.
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jadeycakes
wrote on December 10 2008 @ 01:05 pm: [report]
Yay for 9 and 10!
EastCoastMale
wrote on December 10 2008 @ 01:30 pm: [report]
hehe being a guy I wont even dare go there with my reasons for enjoying being single as a guy. They arent what you would expect I can assure you, drinking out of a carton, porn, checking out hotties are not on there, for real. Just the little things that I or guys like that we may not get to do while in a relationship. Keep ya guessin =)
jadeycakes
wrote on December 10 2008 @ 01:38 pm: [report]
Haha, I agree w/drinking out of a carton and checking out hotties…always fun.
Simcha
wrote on December 10 2008 @ 01:41 pm: [report]
I just drank out of the carton this morning…..weird. It’s like you guys have ESP
EastCoastMale
wrote on December 10 2008 @ 01:52 pm: [report]
lol…well I was actually saying those arent on my list but if you two are down for them then by all means, I just wont be joining you. =). No carton here, I cought a special oversized huge drinking mug just for my bear paws and the fac that I am always thirsty.
HitOrMissJudy
wrote on December 10 2008 @ 01:56 pm: [report]
#2 most definitely. Last xmas my man’s sister took me aside and told me how how much weight I’d gained. Thanks! But hey, at least I’m not 50 and living with my parents. I can comfort myself with that and several dozen snowflake cookies, thanks.
EastCoastMale
wrote on December 10 2008 @ 01:58 pm: [report]
yea really lol. It always seems to be the people with the oddest personal issues that feel it necessary to give unsolicited advice and butt in. I just now realized judy that is NOT a picture of you brushing your teeth as I previously thought lol.
alliecat
wrote on December 10 2008 @ 02:52 pm: [report]
Let’s hear it for Number 3!! I’ve had a hell of a successful year, just not when it comes to my personal life. I can save cash that I would have spent on a gift for a boyfriend and put it towards something I really want that, let’s face it, I’ve earned - like my next tattoo! :D And I don’t have to worry about any potential in-laws hassling me about wanting a third tattoo - double awesome!! :D
Lynn
wrote on December 10 2008 @ 03:37 pm: [report]
I’m not even single, but I’m thankful for #2 - my BF’s family lives several hours away, no way he will be expecting me to make that trek on Christmas Day! And even if he expects it…too bad for him. I’ll be with my own family, wearing the least sexy sweater I can find.
shannac02
wrote on December 10 2008 @ 03:50 pm: [report]
Thank You Thank You Thank You!!!!! GOOOOOOO Simcha!!!!!! Just because we’re the dreaded single, doesn’t mean Holidays suck! I took all the money I’ve saved in the past few months not having a deadbeat BF and I’m going to Europe!!! WOOOOOHOOOO And yeah, at Thanksgiving I had extra noodles AND pie… when you don’t have to worry about impressing anyone (or anyone’s family) you get to make you happy!
EastCoastMale
wrote on December 10 2008 @ 03:59 pm: [report]
I definitely agree but the one recurring theme that I dont get is what is the deal with pride about unsexy sweaters? lol
shannac02
wrote on December 10 2008 @ 04:01 pm: [report]
Un-sexy sweaters are like “nerd” sexy…
EastCoastMale
wrote on December 10 2008 @ 04:16 pm: [report]
hehe well good thing I have some on hand…
elansdale
wrote on December 10 2008 @ 06:08 pm: [report]
NUMBER TWO!!!!! I have had to sit through horrible holidays with guys that took me along so they would not have to deal with their families on their own(they were pretty horrible). Then they dumped me after the holidays.
Little Lamb
wrote on December 10 2008 @ 09:50 pm: [report]
Doesn’t #9=#5???
DancerNinja
wrote on December 12 2008 @ 09:27 am: [report]
I agreed with this as with a previous “it rocks to be single” post I read over the summer. I prefer to stay single starting before Thanksgiving and extending through Feb 14. (I HATE, LOATH, DETEST V-day) Unfortunately, that doesn’t always happen….
Simcha
wrote on December 12 2008 @ 01:25 pm: [report]
@ Judy
#&@$% her! You’re a hot piece!
carpediem181990
wrote on December 15 2008 @ 11:38 am: [report]
Not everyone is 21 or older that is single. It is kinda trampy to hook up with random people. Why would you want to wear a tacky sweat shirt. You are really selfish for wanting to buy stuff just for yourself on the holidays. Families suck specially when you are around them all the time. I don’t need to impress anyone with my cooking skills when I am in a relationship. Why is is a burden to be with someone you love in the first place? Or do people just date people to date them cause they are bored and have nothing to do. If you are getting “to drunk to screw” you apparently have a drinking problem and should go to AA. What the hell is the walk of shame? And when you are at a holiday party you don’t need to be glued to the hip of your boy friend/girl friend you are two individuals you can socialize with other people. Who wrote this someone who has no life?
DancerNinja
wrote on December 15 2008 @ 11:43 am: [report]
BAH-ahahahah! Who ever wrote that last dripping-with-vitriol entry sounds like a kiddo who hasn’t a sense of humor or hasn’t been through it all. 1990, eh? Yeah, a kiddo.
shannac02
wrote on December 15 2008 @ 11:45 am: [report]
HAHAHAHA Agreed. Just wait, honey, you’ll become slightly cynical, just like everyone else!
carpediem181990
wrote on December 15 2008 @ 08:33 pm: [report]
Umm no I think not. I may only be 18 years old but I guarantee I am far more mature than most of you. There are a few reasons I know I wont be like you…I have morals and respect for myself. And I hate the holidays they are extremely stressful and my whole family is way annoying and they argue whenever they get in the same room with each other. I do have a sense of humor I didn’t find any of these tips helpful what so ever. I would never do most of them. I am just not that kind of person. That you all must be apparently. And what I said was true. Don’t look at it in a negative way. I wasn’t pissed or anything when I wrote it. I was just commenting. There are other reasons why you should be happy you are single they don’t all need to revolve around sex and booze. If they are the only things that make you happy then you have a problem.
djaiv
wrote on December 16 2008 @ 12:09 am: [report]
carp (do you mind if I call you ‘carp’? It’s just that your whole name is so very Dead Poet), sex and booze aren’t the only reasons to be single, you are right. It’s just they are the most entertaining ones. No one really wants to read about how much easier it is to sing in the shower when single, or how spending an entire day in old undies is a breeze when alone. We already know this stuff. You will learn it as you grow older, bless your little heart.
And yeah, HitorMiss Judy is the hotness. Screw the bitchy sister.