10 Reasons He Didn’t Ask You Out On A Second Date
Posted by: Phil Dotree
Filed in:
guys
10:00AM, Tuesday August 25th 2009
Guys can be fickle, or, as the French say, “huge jerks who don’t call women back.” Sometimes, though, we’ve got a pretty valid excuse for not picking up the phone. After the jump, why men might not call you back for that second date.
1. We’re shy/intimidated. Some guys just get intimidated, or we’re too shy to ask for a second date. Make sure you get his number, and call the dude up to scope things out. You’ll know if he’s intimidated in the first 10 seconds of the call when he either claims the phone is on fire and hangs up or he nervously vomits into the receiver.
2. You didn’t offer to pay Most men have no problem paying for their dates. We’re gentlemen at heart, or at least we like to think so. Still, we like it when our dates at least offer to cover their share. If our date seems to be taking advantage of a free dinner, that second date isn’t going to happen.
3. There’s no physical attraction. This one isn’t that likely, since he probably asked you out on the first date. If it was a blind date or if you changed some key part of your appearance (you dyed your hair pink and lost/gained 150 pounds) before the date, it can certainly throw things off.
4. Talking too much about yourself. Don’t confuse confidence with vanity—if you’re going on and on about yourself, we’re not coming back for seconds. Be sure to keep the conversation two-sided, and keep some mystery alive by not jamming your biography into an hour-long dinner.
5. Talking about ex-boyfriends. Don’t bring up your ex on a first date, especially to tell us how you’re still excellent friends. We hear, “I’m still into this dude, but yeah, you’re, uh, pretty OK.”
6. Cell phone shenanigans. If you’re on the phone constantly during a first date, we’re not going to be on the other end of the line later on. This applies to texting, too; in fact, texting seems even ruder.
7. Vulgarity. Guys like a girl who can be as vulgar as their guy friends, but don’t trot out your award-winning burps or four-letter fiestas until at least the second or third date.
8. Blatant pre-date lies. This one’s common with the internet dating crowd. Don’t tell lies about yourself before the date kicks off. Don’t say that you’re a rich hand model who enjoys Russian literature (note: I have actually been told this). Unless, of course, you actually are any of those things (she was not).
9. You missed his signals. Some guys have trouble making a move, and if you shrugged off his arm on your shoulder because you were hot or leaned away from a kiss because you heard your neighbors going through your trash, he might be feeling rejected. Call him to set things straight. While you’re at it, call the cops on your creepy neighbors.
10. He met someone else. If it was just a first date, an old relationship might have flared up or the guy might have met someone that he’d rather date. He doesn’t feel an obligation to call you and say anything since, well, it was a first date. Don’t hold it against him, but don’t wait around either. If you don’t get a call within about a week of the first date, forget about it and move on.
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workerbee
wrote on August 25 2009 @ 09:51 am: [report]
Ugh I totally disagree with #2. Unless it was a blind date, then perhaps I’d offer but I go with the person who does the asking does the paying. If you asked me out, you should expect to pay. I should not have to make any contrived moves towards my purse, or any other such nonsense when I haven’t any intentions of paying my half. The others I agree with for the most part.
DancerNinja
wrote on August 25 2009 @ 10:00 am: [report]
I’ll disagree with workerbee. I always make the offer, and I think the response gives me some insight into how the guy thinks the date is going. If he splits it with me, that’s my indication it’s not even a date. There have been times where there was hesitation before he took the bill and that tells me he probably isn’t feeling it.
Plus, I’ve done the asking AND the paying before. I’d be damned if I let him pay in that situation.
skywalk
wrote on August 25 2009 @ 10:15 am: [report]
I agree with DancerNinja, I think it is a good indication of their character or if they are really into you. That said I ask my friends out for drinks and I will buy them a drink or two but I don’t pay for everything why does a date have to be the same. I like to start my relationship out as friendships so I would never expect a date to pay and if they did except my half of the check I wouldn’t totally rule them out, they may not know the right way to respond.
If I don’t let her pay half am I being chauvinistic?
If I let her pay half am I being tight?
Let relationships happen and don’t read so much into little stuff, let it play out see if it works. Not ever dating someone again because they didn’t pay in full on the first date give me a break. Relationships are give and take.
AbbyUNC07
wrote on August 25 2009 @ 10:16 am: [report]
Agree with Workerbee. If it’s the first date, the person asking should be the person paying. I hate “the reach”!
slip
wrote on August 25 2009 @ 10:27 am: [report]
#11: psychoanalysis (if you’re not a psychologist). Your opinions on how people work psychologically are slightly more of a turn-off than hate speech.
Slip
Claireific
wrote on August 25 2009 @ 10:43 am: [report]
RE: #2, One thing I do to alleviate “who’s going to pay?” nerves/uncertainty is if a guy asks me out to dinner at a pricey place, I’ll say “Oh wow, that sounds awesome, but I’m way broke right now.” Which was always, invariably true. That would prompt a “Oh, no, don’t worry, it’s on me!” And case closed before you even arrive at the restaurant. But if the guy was expecting you to pay or go halfsies, then he’d know to change up the gameplan.
skywalk
wrote on August 25 2009 @ 10:49 am: [report]
@Claireific: good call, if you’re not able to pay for half than you have already set the bar and you don’t have any awkwardness at the restaurant. This way if the woman has issue with paying on the date when asked the man knows and can decide if that meets his expectations of a first date. This is a fair compromise.
workerbee
wrote on August 25 2009 @ 11:27 am: [report]
I have to disagree with DancerNinja and Skywalk. Perhaps I’m just more old fashioned than they are but a date is a date regardless of whether it’s going well to me. I can’t use the paying thing as a gauge. Even if we have no chemistry and don’t see a future, the purpose of the outing was to gauge that. The level of fun had doesn’t negate that it was a date. Also, if I’m being asked out for dinner, there is no way I would look at it as a friendship meeting. It could end up going that way if the chemistry isn’t there, but I’m still looking at it as a date, like previously stated. Though I agree, if I ask an already established friend out for drinks, especially if I convince them when they state that they’re poor, I would pay for a few drinks.
xifeng882
wrote on August 25 2009 @ 12:03 pm: [report]
@ivini88: I agree with you for the most part. I really can’t stand that a good chunk of this generation of women constantly talks about their financial independence and then expects the guy to do just about everything when it comes to finance. I really think that we should take a greater responsibility for ourselves. I know that its the traditional role for men to pay for the first couple of dates but honestly, to not even offer to pay is ridiculous. Quite frankly, I feel like it just sets women back. If we’re so strong and independent why shouldn’t we take charge and at least offer once and awhile. I get so uncomfortable if the person I’m seeing always pays. If you always make the guy pay and don’t even offer, aren’t you just taking advantage of him?
brandyalexander
wrote on August 25 2009 @ 12:03 pm: [report]
Hey ivini, when is the last time you actually got a date with that attitude?
Jesus effing christ.
BTW, I’m pretty sure most of the ladies on this site DO have a job, and on their own merits, too, but thanks for the suggestion.
Now back to your parents’ basement.
skywalk
wrote on August 25 2009 @ 12:05 pm: [report]
I make more than most men in my state and I am overly qualified for my job and don’t appreciate you grouping woman together. There are just a many lazy man as lazy women out there. You can debate without being a hateful jerk! If find it a little anti-feminist myself if a woman assumes the man has to pay for the first date. But I didn’t find it necessary to a A**hole about it. My opinion is my opinion that is why I said earlier it would be nice if both the man and woman new the rules before the date so they can both decide if that meets first date expectations. I don’t think one way is more right than the other, a lot of men think they SHOULD pay for the first date. So to each their own!!
skywalk
wrote on August 25 2009 @ 12:07 pm: [report]
@brandyalexander: “get back to your parents’ basement” good one, I love it that was well deserved!
xifeng882
wrote on August 25 2009 @ 12:08 pm: [report]
but seriously ivini, even though i agree with you in principle you dont need to be a jerk about it
brandyalexander
wrote on August 25 2009 @ 12:09 pm: [report]
For the record, I think both the man and the woman should at least OFFER to pay for the first few dates. Who actually ends up paying will depend on your personal dynamic and politics. But in the long run, I think its fair to split costs fairly evenly unless one person (male OR female) happens to make way more money than the other.
brandyalexander
wrote on August 25 2009 @ 12:11 pm: [report]
@skywalk: that was a little low of me since it was so easy…
_jsw_
wrote on August 25 2009 @ 12:13 pm: [report]
@brandyalexander: Don’t judge the poor guy based on just one comment. Read his other one (or, perhaps, “ones” by now) first. Then judge. Based on his two comments, all he’s really asking women to do is to be financially responsible and not just irresponsible leeching sluts with a sense of entitlement. Can’t we all just take that lesson to heart? I know, when I’ve been on dates, I’ve often had them bring their financial portfolios as well as some character witnesses, and my first question is typically “are you an irresponsible leeching slut with a sense of entitlement?” Assuming they pass these tests, we proceed to dinner, after which she pays because, well, she’s already documented her ability to do so.
Surely, this is as it should be.
brandyalexander
wrote on August 25 2009 @ 12:14 pm: [report]
Hey ivini, i happen to have a really great boyfriend, who is an engineer and a model, but no, i don’t think I “deserve everything.” You are one to talk about equality when you claim that women don’t have jobs and are looking to leech off men. And despite your insults, I happen to be a member of mensa and have taught at numerous classes at the university level, so you can take your preconceptions of my IQ and shove them.
brandyalexander
wrote on August 25 2009 @ 12:16 pm: [report]
And IVINI, I said WHOEVER makes more. YOu are the one who assumed that would be the man. In most of my past relationships, it was me, and believe me, I paid the rent and the groceries and the other bills.
CheeeeEEEEse
wrote on August 25 2009 @ 12:17 pm: [report]
@jsw: I ask for references, their SAT score, and their shoe size.
brandyalexander
wrote on August 25 2009 @ 12:17 pm: [report]
LOL, JSW, sounds like someone has a crush on you!
_jsw_
wrote on August 25 2009 @ 12:18 pm: [report]
@brandyalexander: You know, if you feed the trolls, they’ll just keep coming back.
Of course, sometimes it’s fun to have them around. After Phil
was bannedwent away, as well as some of the othermisogynistic jackassescommenters, a lot of the fun has gone away, too, so maybe it’s not such a bad thing to toss out a few biscuits.skywalk
wrote on August 25 2009 @ 12:19 pm: [report]
The point I guess IVIN & JSW miss is that we agree with you totally - just don’t be a jerk about that’s not a lot to ask either.
brandyalexander
wrote on August 25 2009 @ 12:19 pm: [report]
Hey ivini how does it feel to be ignored? Poof! You’re gone.
skywalk
wrote on August 25 2009 @ 12:21 pm: [report]
FYI less money doesn’t = lazy
lea322
wrote on August 25 2009 @ 12:21 pm: [report]
Why does earning less equate to laziness?
skywalk
wrote on August 25 2009 @ 12:24 pm: [report]
because I’m a woman meathead
AnonyMISS
wrote on August 25 2009 @ 12:24 pm: [report]
jsw= sarcastic wordsmith. love it.
CheeeeEEEEse
wrote on August 25 2009 @ 12:25 pm: [report]
@ivini88: It still doesn’t give you license to act like a schmuck.
_jsw_
wrote on August 25 2009 @ 12:25 pm: [report]
@CheeeeEEEEse: The Engineering GRE score is a better indicator. If nothing else, the fact that they even took it implies that they’ll be able to pay for dinner. Also, I recommend asking for ring size as well. Women with really tiny fingers look good in smaller stones, if it ever gets that far. Women with larger fingers often have larger gemstones in rings, which are usually easy to snag and pawn in case you were forced to pay for the dinner.
@brandyalexander: I know! I’m fixin’ to put my makeup and heels on now and grabbing my checkbook.
@ivini88: I wasn’t actually defending you. I have no issue with asserting that women should expect to pay for a date. I understand that expressing a desire for equality and then expecting to be doted on can be seen as contradictory. However, since we’re discussing a first date, which surely isn’t going to bankrupt anyone (or at least shouldn’t), then we’re discussing a gesture here (paying for it) as well as a related gesture (offering to pay), both of which fit into standard dating routines here. Paying for a date does not equate to paying for everything, always, and accepting a date and having it paid for does not equate to always demanding to be supported.
skywalk
wrote on August 25 2009 @ 12:29 pm: [report]
What!! I have done nothing to deserve that! Now you’re really showing your character. Some people really don’t know how to debate without taking it personally; I wouldn’t have called you a meathead if you didn’t call me a pussy.
But at least you gave me something to laugh about, thanks! It’s been a long time since I’ve been called that.
_jsw_
wrote on August 25 2009 @ 12:31 pm: [report]
The od thing will be reading this column after he gets booted. Lots of odd references….
@skywalk: I wasn’t agreeing with him.
@ivini88: Dude, seriously? What happened? Did the checkout girl at Walmart dump you for the guy who brings in the carts? Or did she accept your gifts of Slushies without ever buying you one in return? Why so serious?
AnonyMISS
wrote on August 25 2009 @ 12:31 pm: [report]
i agree with the poster who said the person who asks should be the person who pays. in the beginning, or at least for the first date this may result in a guy paying more often than a woman. however, after the initial date its not uncommon for a woman to invite the man to an event.
CheeeeEEEEse
wrote on August 25 2009 @ 12:32 pm: [report]
@jsw: Most women don’t take the GRE. The SAT would be good enough for me.
lea322
wrote on August 25 2009 @ 12:33 pm: [report]
@ivini88: So, are you not in favor of equality between women and men? You seem to use an awful lot of gender-related derogatory language, so I’m just wondering, if you DON’T believe the sexes are equal, then aren’t you in support of traditions that give specific roles to men and women in dating situations?
skywalk
wrote on August 25 2009 @ 12:33 pm: [report]
@JSW- Note taken!
_jsw_
wrote on August 25 2009 @ 12:37 pm: [report]
@iviniHateHate: I’m guessing you’re trying to see how quickly you get banned, so I suppose we won’t be having this fun much longer, but otherwise, you should stop playing on the big kid playground and go back to the seesaws and chair swings. You’re not equipped to throw down here. We’re just toying with you now. I’d hate for us to have to start putting some bite into our replies, since you’re clearly upset by having to fork out the whole $10 for the burgers and curly fries and so likely might have trouble adequately responding to comments thrown your way.
But hey, by all means, keep up with the “mangina” comments, because they clearly indicate your level of sophistication.
bumbler
wrote on August 25 2009 @ 12:39 pm: [report]
This is stupid. Lavar Burton long ago taught me the importance of reading comprehension so let’s apply it to this debate. Not once did I see a woman on this thread suggest men always pay before ivini jumped in with his leeching slut bs. Ivini read this slowly if necessary: The argument made was the whomever (Nota bene: regardless of gender) asks for the date should pay. That means if a woman asks a man on a date SHE! should be footing the entirety of the bill. Shocking isn’t it? The argument is not anti-feminist nor is it an attempt to leach off of men. Isn’t learning fun, kids?
CheeeeEEEEse
wrote on August 25 2009 @ 12:41 pm: [report]
@bumbler: Reading Rainbow!!!!1!
bumbler
wrote on August 25 2009 @ 12:41 pm: [report]
@Cheeeeeeeeeeese Take a look, it’s in a book. Reading Rainbow!
_jsw_
wrote on August 25 2009 @ 12:44 pm: [report]
So, anyway….
Are any of the other numbered items contentious? I’m just curious, since I think we’ve beaten #2 to death….
skywalk
wrote on August 25 2009 @ 12:44 pm: [report]
I think the rest are all good!
brandyalexander
wrote on August 25 2009 @ 12:46 pm: [report]
Yeah, now that we are back on topic, I’d like to say this is a nice first article, Phil!
bumbler
wrote on August 25 2009 @ 12:46 pm: [report]
@JSW #5 offends me. I invite my exboyfriends to all of my dates and lead them around on golden chains throughout the evening so the new date knows what he can look forward to. Men need to stop hatin’.
lea322
wrote on August 25 2009 @ 12:50 pm: [report]
@bumbler: sounds like I’m a much lazier slut than you are, since you can afford gold chains, and I have to settle for silver. *sigh*
_jsw_
wrote on August 25 2009 @ 12:51 pm: [report]
I agree with brandyalexander: great first article. Who knew it’d be so controversial?
@bumbler: God, that’s so hot. I’ve always wanted to be part of a marem (male harem). Could I join, even though I’m not an ex? Or could we go out on one date (we’ll discuss who will pay later) just so I can be chained up on a technicality? Thanks for even considering this request. I’m off to my bunk.
bumbler
wrote on August 25 2009 @ 12:53 pm: [report]
@lea you’ll get there someday, just remember our ultra-super-secret woman motto “Keep Leeching”
@jsw I’ll put you in charge of my ostrich feather fan. You can also help Viggo Mortensen hand feed me grapes.
brandyalexander
wrote on August 25 2009 @ 12:54 pm: [report]
Ahahaa “much lazier slut.” Phrase of the year!
Oh, I was really wondering if anyone who is bi or gay would chime in on the who pays thing? I’m just curious how the first date who pays awkwardness plays out in a different situation…
_jsw_
wrote on August 25 2009 @ 12:58 pm: [report]
@bumbler: Accepted! I’ll also work on lea322‘s “crew”, should she need more men.
Riley
wrote on August 25 2009 @ 12:59 pm: [report]
I haven’t seen this much pointless ranting since I was over at IMDB forums.
workerbee
wrote on August 25 2009 @ 12:59 pm: [report]
Thank you for spelling that out bumbler! Though I doubt ivini will read it or care.
@ jsw: I’m honestly curious about this since you put it so clearly in standard dating norms but if, on a first date where the man has asked me out, I have no intention of paying, wouldn’t it be more dishonest for me to make the gesture to pay my half? I get the dynamics of dating, but what if he took me up on that offer? I’m sure I would suck it up and just pay, but would there be an eloquent way of backing out?
skywalk
wrote on August 25 2009 @ 01:00 pm: [report]
@brandyalexander: another good one - who would pay in that case, more on that later I’m sure.
angel001717
wrote on August 25 2009 @ 01:10 pm: [report]
oh jsw lmao i adore you and your wit.
what if a woman thinks that feminisim has gone overboard and wants a more traditional lifestyle? so she isnt up in arms for equality and therefore cannot be ridiculed for hypocrisy. there. win-win. you pay for dinner i will darn your socks. alls fair in love and war, baby.
slip
wrote on August 25 2009 @ 02:18 pm: [report]
First article and you start that kind of a food fight?
Well done.
Slip
Shasta
wrote on August 25 2009 @ 02:20 pm: [report]
Phil in Reno was banned? Awww. Did someone get a little sensitive? Only one misogynistic social misfit at a time allowed here I guess. Welcome Ivini!
Shasta
wrote on August 25 2009 @ 02:25 pm: [report]
Whoa. The $$$ thing hits a nerve on both sides.
I gotta say, my gender continues to disappoint on this one. GIRLS: Pony the F up. You’re kidding yourselves if you think you’re not going to pay one way or another. If you prefer to earn your keep on your back(or whatever position he prefers), I don’t care. Just don’t bitch about it.
I ALWAYS throw in half on a first date. I got good scores on both the SAT and GRE, which girls do take. I don’t insist a guy take the $$; I’m not trying to prove a point. But really. Stop buying crappy clothes that you don’t need and offer to pay. The guy will appreciate that more than your skirt from H&M.
lea322
wrote on August 25 2009 @ 03:45 pm: [report]
@Shasta: Just…what the hell? I have to pay for a date, either with money or sex? I don’t think so. If the point of a date is purely sex, get a prostitute. I would NEVER go on a date with a guy who expected anything more than an initial “getting to know each other” session on the first date. If, by mutual consent, it goes further than that, that’s a bonus.
Saying that you, or any other woman, is going to pay for anything on her back, as if the man is entitled to anything because he took you out, is disgusting.
_jsw_
wrote on August 25 2009 @ 04:15 pm: [report]
@workerbee: I tend to be a relationship person as opposed to a dating type, and so I’ve had very few first dates (because they usually turn into LTRs). So… I’m basing my opinion on pretty sparse personal data. I certainly don’t consider my opinion to be any more correct than anyone else’s (well, except for that of poor wittle banned ivini88). So, for what it’s worth, here’s my opinion on paying for first dates:
I have always paid for the first date. I’ve never felt imposed upon or used when doing so, and all that I’ve asked - and this has always been the granted to me - is that my date appreciate that I paid for it. I don’t mean that she needed to have offered sex or have given me a Hallmark card or broken into song or done an impromptu ice sculpture in my honor. I just mean that I hoped that she would thank me, and my dates always have done that. Just a simple “thank you for dinner” was all I wanted. Yes, sometimes, some of my dates offered to pay all or half or the tip or whatever, and I’ve always appreciated the gesture and then turned it down. If I ever felt that turning down the offer would have offended them, I certainly wouldn’t have done so. I don’t feel like I have to pay. I just like paying for the first date at least.
I’ve been asked out before and still paid for the first date, although I completely agree that I didn’t need to. It was just a gesture on my part. I wouldn’t have had a problem not paying.
Again, we’re talking about first dates, not an entire relationship. To pay a few bucks to see if someone might be the woman with whom I could spend months, years, or my life… just always seemed like a prudent investment. I didn’t date randomly and almost always have known my dates fairly well before dating them, so it wasn’t like I was just throwing money away on a chance encounter.
So, for me, I’ve always paid and never had a problem doing so. I see nothing wrong with paying for the first date, with splitting the tab, or with the woman paying. In my case, I’ve just happened to have paid. I can be on a date with a woman I completely respect as an equal (or superior) and who I know is fully capable of paying, and it still is an honor for me to do so. I guess I figure that she’s probably spent more time preparing for the evening (I can’t take more than 20 minutes to get ready even if I try), so I return the favor by paying.
I never assume the woman has to “pay for it” one way or another. I don’t see dates as a means of paying for an escort service. I feel that I’m paying for the honor of someone’s company, and, if I’ve chosen well, there will be many future opportunities for her to contribute to the relationship.
As to the question of why offering to pay half if you have no intention of doing so: don’t. I think that the gesture of offering is a nice one, but should only be done if you would follow through if he accepts.
Of course, I’ve benefited by having relatively few first dates and by knowing most of them pretty well beforehand, so I’ve never been in a situation of having to shell out money a few times a week on various first dates. If that were the case, I might be more open to accepting offers to help pay. I don’t know.
_jsw_
wrote on August 25 2009 @ 04:20 pm: [report]
@angel001717: Thank you, and I hope things are going well for you post-jackass. I also hope this article doesn’t apply to you because the guys do ask you for further dates.
Shasta
wrote on August 25 2009 @ 04:35 pm: [report]
@lea322.
One date does not make for a Quid Pro Quo. However, it’s clear from the vitriole, that many guys are tired of being seen simply as the bank.
It is less about money than a sense of entitlement and a PATTERN of behavior. People - men and women - want to be appreciated for who they are, not simply for their money or blow-job skills.
But none of us should be so naive to think that money doesn’t matter.
Did you read the 24 Kinds of Sex post by Simcha? One of them is the Guilt:
You owe them one for that nice steak dinner. And you know if you screw them, you’ll settle the score.
Thank You:
Those diamond earrings just earned you the BJ of your life. You made me grateful, now I want you to be too.
*sam*
wrote on August 25 2009 @ 04:41 pm: [report]
WOW. looks like I missed out on quite a party. *sigh* such is life I suppose
@_jsw_ & cheeeeEEEEse: FWIW, I’ve taken the GRE… not the engineering one though. does that mean I’m only good enough to take out to McDonald’s or Taco Bell??
seriously though, as for the paying issue, I don’t think it’s fair to not call someone if they didn’t offer to pay, especially if you were the one that asked for the date in the first place. I could understand being a little upset, but, at that point, you should at least wait it out for a few other dates to see how they go, b/c if this thread shows anything, it’s that not everyone has the same ‘first date’ rules.
_jsw_
wrote on August 25 2009 @ 04:48 pm: [report]
@*sam*: Yes, you were definitely missed at the party. Too bad his comments were all removed. Alas. *sighs*
As far as the GRE goes: even though it wasn’t the engineering one, taking any of them certainly bumps you up a notch, to something like, say, TGI Friday’s or the Cracker Barrel. Of course, if you’re willing to put out afterwards, you could even get the desert.*
And, on a serious note, thank you for reminding us that there was an article associated with this comment section. I agree that a date not offering partial payment is not a reason to not call a her for a second date.
Especially if she put out after the first date, of course.*
* Note: these comments are sarcastic in nature.
*sam*
wrote on August 25 2009 @ 04:57 pm: [report]
@_jsw_: ooo, how does Ruby Tuesday sound?? I know their service is usually terrible and their food leaves much to be desired, BUT, they have a $2.99 salad bar that rocks my world! though, at around $4 for the salad bar & the tip (I’ll drink water), do I still *have* to put out??? If so, then we can always just complain to the management that the service was atrocious (as it always it at Ruby Tuesdays) and we can just have them comp the entire meal
...yeah, I know how to live on the wild side
_jsw_
wrote on August 25 2009 @ 05:07 pm: [report]
@*sam*: Oh, I’m so embarrassed.
I meant putt out. When we went to miniature golf afterwards. As opposed to just trying a few shots and quitting without finishing. So, if you’re a good enough sport to putt out, I’ll pay for desert.
And as far as Ruby Tuesday goes… I agree, their salad bar is their one and only strength, but it’s a good one, especially for $2.99. And if you’re willing to go there, you most certainly don’t have to putt out, since we could then afford to go go-cart racing. If they comp the meal, we can go go-cart racing and get ice cream.
*sam*
wrote on August 25 2009 @ 05:42 pm: [report]
@_jsw_: ah, you sure do know a way to a woman’s heart
jfst
wrote on August 25 2009 @ 06:37 pm: [report]
Shasta hit the nail on the head with her posts.
_jsw_
wrote on August 25 2009 @ 06:41 pm: [report]
@*sam*: True. I am a man of many memorable moves.
@jfst: I’m so tired of associating “nailing” and “head” with first dates.
slip
wrote on August 25 2009 @ 06:51 pm: [report]
@Shasta—dead on: not offering to pay reveals a sense of entitlement. And a surprising number of women who feel that sense of entitlement will become enraged at any hint of discrimination against them. Jesus, that sh*t gets old.
I expect to pay on a first date. But never forget that it’s a mutual audition and I’m noting my date’s responses to everything. Not offering to pay for at least part tells me that she thinks I should have to pay to spend time with her. That’s almost as unattractive as the entitlement double standard.
Women, if you want a second date, offering to pay for part of the first one really helps your chances.
Slip
CheeeeEEEEse
wrote on August 25 2009 @ 06:54 pm: [report]
@jsw: I prefer 2 balls and a strike with a perky redhead in the on deck circle.
FireDancer
wrote on August 25 2009 @ 07:16 pm: [report]
For me I always like to pay on the first date. Mostly because I want to see if the woman will say “Thank you for dinner”. After that whoever pays in no big deal. I just like to use that as a way to find out if she is polite or not. But I’m big on manners so maybe I’m just weird.
skywalk
wrote on August 25 2009 @ 07:24 pm: [report]
@FireDancer: You’re not weird you get it, keep going with it.
MagellanEternal
wrote on August 25 2009 @ 08:02 pm: [report]
Hello everyone,
I’ve been reading this site semi-religiously in my Bat Cubicle at work for a few months now, and wanted to join in on some of the fun as many of you make me chuckle a good bit. I said Bat Cubicle because I’m a man and am loathe to be caught reading this site by some of my fellow co-workers, but got sick of Askmen.com articles. Impossible, right?
I would prefer it if a woman were to at least offer to pay, but “leeching slut” doesn’t cross my mind if she doesn’t, unless she’s ordering 4 orders of Tiramisu to go. Honestly, with the number of women who have cancelled or re-scheduled last minute on me, its not so bad to actually get out there and tread the waters. Anything to remove myself from “The Suck” that is gradually becoming the routine of daily life is a welcome respite. Fun and intimidation, FTW! :-D
_jsw_
wrote on August 25 2009 @ 08:41 pm: [report]
Bye bye, mrke.
_jsw_
wrote on August 25 2009 @ 08:42 pm: [report]
I want to commend the powers that be for banning that jackass before I could even report him. Thank you.
And yes, I’m making this comment mainly so the one above seems less cryptic.
bumbler
wrote on August 25 2009 @ 08:43 pm: [report]
Once again your logic fails because no one said a woman was entitled to anything. Essentially what you are doing is the equivalent of me responding to your post saying “mrke! How dare you say the holocaust never happened?!” Get it? You never said the holocaust is a lie therefore if I were to attack you for saying so I would be an idiot. No one said a woman was owed free dinner on every date (see my previous post) therefore when you follow up with barely coherent rants about entitlement you are an idiot. QED.
bumbler
wrote on August 25 2009 @ 08:45 pm: [report]
Damn! Too slow.
draymond
wrote on August 25 2009 @ 09:09 pm: [report]
The rules are changing somewhat on who pays. It used to be that the man made the initial offer of the date essentially unsolicited to the woman. With the internet it is more likely that both have gone to a website with a mutual desire to go out with somebody, so the lines of who is offering and who is accepting is less clear.
That being said there are a lot of ways that a woman can signal that she is out to drain the man’s wallet. Even if the man has agreed to pay the whole thing a lot of clues can lead to a conclusion of ‘warning: high maintenance girl’ that will kill the chances of Date 2.
workerbee
wrote on August 25 2009 @ 10:00 pm: [report]
I really didn’t think my comment would spark this much of a debate. However, I completely disagree that I’m paying for a first date “one way or another” and it’s disgusting to insinuate such. Nor will you find me screaming and bitching about equality. I have my opinions, but I don’t go around complaining about glass ceilings and then turn around and yell at a man for not holding the door. I have weird dating ideas I guess. An informal poll among guys I know show that they feel like they should pay but it’s nice when a girl offers. Not expected, but nice. I also think that if the date goes well there should be a good night kiss but from personal experience, that’s apparently not always the case. Yes, they liked me I was asked out again each time and I felt like I gave them the opportunity (fumbling keys, etc). I also had a guy friend who didn’t kiss a girl he liked on their first date. I’m still trying to figure this new rule out. Anyways, I kinda feel it’s like something jsw hit upon: I’ve spent over an hour getting ready for this date. I’ve shaved my legs, fixed my hair, lotioned up so my skin is soft, made sure I smell nice, painstakingly applied makeup so I look refreshed and pretty but not too made up, spent too much time agonizing over an outfit to wear that shows off my assets, is feminine, but doesn’t make me look easy, and prob other things I’ve forgotten at this late hour. It’s a nice gesture to me that a man will pay and not expect sex or hold it against me that I didn’t offer. And I always thank them for the dinner.
ChoJinn
wrote on August 25 2009 @ 11:20 pm: [report]
Perhaps only #3 would singularly torpedo a 2nd date. Unfortunately, qualities #1-9 are often mutually inclusive. Some people are just travesties, I guess.
“Don’t say that you’re a rich hand model who enjoys Russian literature (note: I have actually been told this). Unless, of course, you actually are any of those things (she was not).”
Crazy - same thing happened to me!
slip
wrote on August 25 2009 @ 11:48 pm: [report]
@workerbee, that’s exactly the sense of entitlement I mean. You got ready, so you don’t have to offer to help pay the cost of the mutual exploration that is a first date? Didn’t he get ready, too? What does that say about your opinion of the man who took you out? Is your time more valuable than his? Are you more valuable than he is?
Help me understand this.
Slip
_jsw_
wrote on August 26 2009 @ 12:00 am: [report]
@slip: Geez, man, it’s just a tradition. Is it all that difficult to grasp? Odds are that any woman you date did, in fact, spend more time getting ready. This doesn’t obligate you to pay for her. Do you wear makeup to dates? What does this say about your belief that you should be presentable to your date? Is her need to look good greater than yours? Are you so valuable as to not need to wear makeup to look better? And why will you likely show less of your body? Is it the woman’s job to show her sexual desirability but not yours? Are you so important and valuable that your desirability is a given?
Of course not. Many women wear makeup. Most men don’t. Many women wear dresses or skirts or other leg-revealing attire on dates. Most men don’t. It’s traditional. And, likewise, the guy paying for the date is traditional. Consider it a debt accrued by being able to pee standing up and by never having a body altered by pregnancy and by being able to date people half your age when you’re older.
That doesn’t mean women can’t pay for dates or that men must do so. But if you’re deciding a woman isn’t worth your time purely because she doesn’t offer to shell out the $50 or whatever her half of the meal turns out to be, then you’re clearly after a different demographic than I am, and you obviously spend less time vetting your dates before you go on them.
skywalk
wrote on August 26 2009 @ 05:21 am: [report]
Did IVINI sneak back in or is klokj a new Phil in Reno? What is going on?
bumbler
wrote on August 26 2009 @ 05:31 am: [report]
Klokj is ivini, he becomes more and more incoherent with each alias. Give it a little bit and he’ll be banned again and the posts deleted.
skywalk
wrote on August 26 2009 @ 05:33 am: [report]
It’s really unnerving to be honest.
writergirl
wrote on August 26 2009 @ 05:57 am: [report]
@jsw—The od thing will be reading this column after he gets booted. Lots of odd references….
Yes, it is. And my morning coffee hasn’t kicked in well enough yet for me to make sense of it, so I’m giving up.
I can say with absolute certainty though, I am so glad to be off that merry-go-round.
_jsw_
wrote on August 26 2009 @ 06:54 am: [report]
Aieeee!!! I have been skewered by his rapier wit. I fear I have no recourse but to leave the site forever, as the searing pain of his malicious insight into my soul is unbearable.
Or not. I feel a bit like I’m at a daycare and a two year old keeps coming up and kicking me in the shins, wearing a different mask each time. Except, well, that might hurt. So I suppose it’s more like a two year old keeps coming up and trying to insult me by calling me things like “Big Poopie Face” and “Booger Nose”. Except… those would be too sophisticated for this guy. So I’m out of analogies.
I’m a bit disappointed that he couldn’t tie “vetting” together with the “300 pound losers” phrase in one of his comments to at least make some sort of heifers pun, but perhaps the “skewered by his rapier” bit will give him something to use with his next “fag” insult.
However, he did actually reference some things that were said in the comments section, so, despite his inability to write, at least he can read. I look forward to his next incarnation, although hopefully that won’t come until after he’s taken the pills next to that little white paper water cup that the nice lady brings him every morning.
_jsw_
wrote on August 26 2009 @ 06:56 am: [report]
@skywalk: PiR did rant and use odd capitalization, but he was never at all anything like this guy.
xifeng882
wrote on August 26 2009 @ 07:17 am: [report]
wow. klokj/ivini just sounds plastered. the mindless ranting is quite interesting *rolls eyes*
Wractor
wrote on August 26 2009 @ 07:25 am: [report]
The ‘you didn’t offer to pay’ thing should be rewritten into “You made him spend more than he was comfortable with.” If I ask a girl out, I’m paying. However if she ‘suggests’ a ‘better’ restaurant or orders 5 top-shelf drinks, it’ll be our first & last date.
The cell-phone item is absolutely true, though. I was on a date with one girl and in the middle of a conversation when her cell-phone rang. She didn’t say “Excuse me one moment” or “Do you mind if I take this?” She just flipped it open and started chattering away. I actually got up from the table and started hitting on the waitress.
*sam*
wrote on August 26 2009 @ 07:30 am: [report]
cripes! where are these people coming from!?!?!
—just one of “500 silly c*nts”
p.s., I *totes* dig the ‘copy & paste’ method to doubling the length of your rant, as well as the use of an emoticon and “LOL” at the end of nearly every sentence—pure genius.
skywalk
wrote on August 26 2009 @ 07:31 am: [report]
@Wractor: I agree if a woman suggests a better restaurant or orders 5 top shelf drinks and doesn’t offer to pay anything whether you have the mindset that the person who asks should be the one to pay or not you’re just greedy and I don’t blame you for not asking someone else again. I think you could be setting a bad precedent in a relationship, if you’re looking for someone to dote on vs and equal life partner then that is one thing.
CheeeeEEEEse
wrote on August 26 2009 @ 07:37 am: [report]
@wractor: That’s when you tell the bartender to split the check. I’m sure they know this situation and are familiar with getting out of it.
lindseylee21
wrote on August 26 2009 @ 07:39 am: [report]
I’m so sad I missed all of Ivini’s comments!!!!! :(
_jsw_
wrote on August 26 2009 @ 07:39 am: [report]
@Wractor: I completely agree that abusing things by ordering excessively is definitely a reason to not continue to a second date. One shouldn’t feel unable to get the meal they want, but that’s different than racking up a bill just to see how much you can make the other pay.
@*sam*: Many great artists and writers have been mocked during their time and not appreciated until later. I lament the fact that these inspired musings will be deleted and thus unavailable to future scholars. By reading our comments, they’ll catch a glimpse of his genius, but never enough to reassemble all that he said.
@xifeng882: I look forward to seeing if it’s a multi-day bender. I’m hoping that “mangina” and “c*nt” and other insults are replaced by different ones, though, as I’m almost starting to get bored by his word choices.
_jsw_
wrote on August 26 2009 @ 07:43 am: [report]
@lindseylee21: I have them all in email. I’m getting them all etched onto stained glass, but I’d be happy to forward a copy to you first. I also know a good granite engraver, if you’d like to go that route for immortalizing things.
lindseylee21
wrote on August 26 2009 @ 07:50 am: [report]
@jsw Lol!!! Where will your stained glass etchings go? In the High Church of the Stupid Douchebags??
_jsw_
wrote on August 26 2009 @ 07:56 am: [report]
@lindseylee21: Actually, they’re little coasters that I’ll be bringing to the monthly Fag and Silly C*nt Tea Social. The High Church of the Stupid Douchebags is next door, but pretty much all they have are pinup posters from the 70s and 80s and one old computer used for watching internet porn. There’s stained stuff there, but it ain’t glass.
brandyalexander
wrote on August 26 2009 @ 08:08 am: [report]
Oh man, I missed out on some new trollery. When is the next Fag and Silly #&@$% Social? I do hope it doesn’t conflict with the Lazy Leeching Sluts of America Convention, because I am giving the keynote address.
*sam*
wrote on August 26 2009 @ 08:12 am: [report]
@brandyalexander: uhh, it should be noted prominently in red in your Skanks and Wh*res for Equality calendar.
_jsw_
wrote on August 26 2009 @ 08:15 am: [report]
@brandyalexander: It’s just the local branch meeting, but we’d be happy to have you over. Since many of our members are also LLSA members, they’ll all be attending “ElsaCon” (as they call it), so you can be sure the dates won’t conflict.
By the way, next-incarnation-of-ivini88: you could use that “Elsa” bit to tie in very nicely with “vetting” and “300-lb”, just as a hint. Think “cow”. I’m sure it’ll come to you.
brandyalexander
wrote on August 26 2009 @ 08:16 am: [report]
Oh….. LOL, literally :D
brandyalexander
wrote on August 26 2009 @ 08:18 am: [report]
ElsaCon. Has a nice ring to it.
crazyincarolina
wrote on August 26 2009 @ 08:23 am: [report]
@_jsw_ I may get fired for signing on and commenting at work but I couldn’t hold off any longer…you are awesome…oh, and how can I score an invite to the Fag and Silly C*nt Tea Social?
_jsw_
wrote on August 26 2009 @ 08:35 am: [report]
@crazyincarolina: Normally, we ask new members to crochet a set of doilies, but we’re sort of way overloaded on those now, so if you’d be willing to bring a small potted plant (so we’d have something to put on all those damned doilies) or at least agree to take home a few sets, you’re welcome to join. Just swing on over to FaSC.com and sign up.
I Go To 11
wrote on August 26 2009 @ 08:53 am: [report]
Man, have I missed a fun one here…I’m imagining what the trolls are saying by reading some of the quoted parts. In my mind, throwing them all together (just the quoted parts by other posters, that is) makes it funny, in a “if you can’t laugh at the absurdity it’ll drive you up the wall” way.
@jsw: No one told me about the crafts requirement! I would’ve made some popsicle stick birdhouses if I’d known. :(
workerbee
wrote on August 26 2009 @ 11:01 am: [report]
Ooooh, oooh, if anyone deserves to be a member of LLSA and invited to the FaSC Tea Social it’s me! I’ll bring baked goods.
slip
wrote on August 26 2009 @ 11:14 am: [report]
@_jsw_, it’s a tradition based on the idea of men and women not having the same inherent value. Every article and nearly every post I’ve seen here assumes that gender bias is intolerable. If so, then defending this tradition is hypocritical. That’s the double standard and the sense of entitlement to which I refer.
I wouldn’t skip a second date solely because a woman did not offer to help pay. But I’m in my 40’s, and in my experience, not offering is a reliable indicator that a woman has a host of other issues that smart men avoid, in the way that some types of moles are reliable indicators of the onset of skin cancer.
Any debts I accrue by being able to pee standing up, etc. are cancelled by the fact that I’m more likely to die younger, to die a violent death, to suffer from depression, etc. And for what it’s worth, I have dated women half my age. It’s overrated.
Slip
brandyalexander
wrote on August 26 2009 @ 11:20 am: [report]
Workerbee: no need to bake for the LLSA. All you need to bring is a sense of entitlement. Ivini is doing all the baking, because he’s a man, and that’s what they do.
MediaExecutive
wrote on August 26 2009 @ 12:24 pm: [report]
#2 Is exactly right - and those of you that don’t understand why #2 is right are exactly the reason why #2 is so important to so many men.
The old rule that the one who asks for the date should pay is sexist because there is another traditional rule that the man always asks the woman for the date. If your name is June Cleaver or Donna Reed then its fine because you know all the other rules from before 1950: e.g. you also make breakfast and dinner and you have a martini ready for when I come home. Believe me if you are like that I’m not going to ask you to pay for anything ever. I’ll be shopping for engagement rings while planning date #2.
In modern times the rules are different.
Lets face it - most guys have a hard time getting dates and are more than happy to pay just to be in the game - but those are not the guys you want. You’re looking for mister handsome confident and successful right? So is every other girl. He’s not having trouble getting dates. So if you are not offering to pay - and actually paying about half time, you are pricing yourself right out of the best men.
When I go on a date I come prepared to pay for it all - whether I asked you out or not. And if I end up paying for it is no big deal - $150 for dinner is not going to break me. If you don’t intend to actually pay - don’t do the fake pretend wallet grabbing gesture. That’s cheesy.
If we go on a date and you had a good time with me - we both got something out of it - so what is fair is that we shared the cost. If you don’t pay anything they either a. you didn’t have a good time or b. you had a great time but you don’t believe in contributing equally. Either way I’m not calling you back.
The idea that you had to pay for clothes and makeup so you’ve already ‘invested’ in the date is just silly. I have to pay for clothes too Go price out some good quality men’s suits. The price tags have four digits.
Saying you’re too broke to pay half the date must feel pretty humiliating. Who really says that with a straight face? You have a car, an apartment, a cell phone, and nice clothes for our date, but not enough for dinner and drinks? We can tell its a lie - and we don’t date liars.
Wealthy men attract women the way swimsuit models attract horny douchebags. Both of them end up sensitive to dating people who only want them for the ‘wrong’ reasons.
_jsw_
wrote on August 26 2009 @ 12:40 pm: [report]
@slip: I completely agree that an obvious air of unappreciative entitlement is a real turn-off. A genuine offer to help pay (or pay entirely) for the date goes a long way towards showing that the date doesn’t feel entitled in that way. On the other hand, for me personally, a genuine “thank you” for the dinner serves the same purpose and actually - for me - comes across better. I don’t see dates as a business partnership. I see them as an entrance to a romantic relationship. Being appreciated is therefore, to me, more important than an offer of compensation. I’ve never had a first date that didn’t turn into at least a few others, and I’ve never felt like I was taken advantage of by paying for those first dates. When someone thanks me and offers to help pay, that’s even nicer.
Again, I have no problem with a date paying for part or all of the date. I certainly won’t refuse to allow it. I simply expect to pay, and I hope to be appreciated for doing so. Were I to go on a date where I received neither appreciation nor an offer of compensation, I would not go on a second date… but, to be fair, the lack of appreciation would, by far, be the bigger turn-off.
Your argument that it’s a tradition based on men and women not having the same inherent value is certainly true to the extent that men wanting to court women would place higher value on those women, whose value would then decline immediately after marriage (remember that whole dowry tradition?). Today, we try for more equivalence, and I agree with that. However, I disagree than any gender-based role differences must mean something is wrong. The genders are different, and having certain traditions which do not demean either gender do not strike me as bad. I prefer a world where men and women dress differently. I prefer one where some gender stereotypes hold true. I think that we can all have the same opportunities without having to be exactly the same and without being treated as equals in the mathematical sense.
lea322
wrote on August 26 2009 @ 12:43 pm: [report]
Ok…all of this is making me want to scream! It’s not about tradition or entitlement or being the laziest leeching slut possible…as _jsw_ pointed out, it’s a GESTURE. Maybe if more people made similar gestures toward the people they care about instead of trying to decide if what they’re doing advances their sex or makes them look weak or whatever, people would be a lot happier.
I get that saying a man HAS to pay is antiquated. But being respectful and selfless in a relationship will never be.
snap
wrote on August 26 2009 @ 12:48 pm: [report]
Phil in Reno was banned? YESSSSSSS! what a pig he was.
Loves2Spooge
wrote on August 26 2009 @ 12:49 pm: [report]
The whole post can be summarized as follows: we’re just not that into you.
Everything listed is merely possible reasons that contributed to reaching that opinion. Bottom line, if the guy doesn’t call you relatively soon after date #1, it will probably serve you better to immediately move on and not dwell on what might of been. After all, it was only one date.
Shriekback68
wrote on August 26 2009 @ 12:53 pm: [report]
I kept scanning for the original ivini comment, just to see what this clod said. LOL
brandyalexander
wrote on August 26 2009 @ 12:59 pm: [report]
@Media Executive: Surprisingly, I agree with you, though you wouldn’t find me offering up half for a $150 dinner, because I work at a non-profit and a date like that would break me! It seems like we come from different worlds when we’re talking money… I’d probably suggest a slightly less expensive joint rather than expect the guy to foot the bill so I wouldn’t have to embarrass myself.
Like JSW said, this is not a big deal for people who don’t go on a lot of first dates, but I am sure that it is something that wealthy guys go through a lot when they are dating and looking for the “one.” Good analogy with the swimsuit model. It is sometimes hard to see peoples’real intentions (see my comments on Amelia’s post about being friends with pretty people).
So far as grabbing the purse, it can be hard to tell if that’s a fake gesture or not. I always offer to pay all or half. It isn’t fake, but sometimes a guy absolutely insists on paying all despite my offers, so I let him. In return, I always pay the tip, or at least drinks/dessert afterward. In the beginning, it is awkward, but one dinner isn’t necessarily a prediction of an entire relationship.
Its a lot easier for a proper financial dynamic to develop over multiple dates or a relationship. In most of my relationships, I shelled out half or more of the costs of going out.
Oh, and don’t tell anyone here, but that June Cleaver thing turns me on in a weird way… hmm…
brandyalexander
wrote on August 26 2009 @ 01:03 pm: [report]
Shriekback: It was something along the lines of saying that all women act entitled to everything and that we are all “leeching sluts” and too lazy to get a real job so we just leach off of men but then expect to be treated as their equals. It was really charming. We put him in his place, though.
brandyalexander
wrote on August 26 2009 @ 01:12 pm: [report]
@Media Executive: One thing I do disagree on, though. It really ISN’T always the man doing the asking. I’ve asked a handful of men out, one of whom I dated for seven years!
MediaExecutive
wrote on August 26 2009 @ 01:18 pm: [report]
@brandy:
Like I said - modern times and new rules.
If you can be June I can be Ward.
brandyalexander
wrote on August 26 2009 @ 01:19 pm: [report]
LOL. nice.
_jsw_
wrote on August 26 2009 @ 01:24 pm: [report]
@brandyalexander: I think the answer we’re all looking for is whether or not you paid on the dates where you asked the guy out. Because, well, it’s just so crucially important. Although, just as important: did they at least offer to pay and were they appreciative? Also, did they have to provide you with sexual favors afterwards?
@Shriekback68: As she-of-the-brandy-and-dark creme de cacao-and-half-and-half-and-nutmeg said, it was just a stream of insults, most of which circumvented the profanity filter. I hope he comes back.
@Media Executive: I can see your line of reasoning, in that I have several wealthy friends who are weary of always being expected to be the ones who pay for everything and who are grateful when others do so, but I do disagree that, especially if you are as you imply you are, paying for the date - the first date - is something that you should expect the woman to offer to do. A handsome confident and successful guy such as yourself should have no issue with it. Assuming you’re as charming as you think you are, she’ll have a chance to pay on the second date.
brandyalexander
wrote on August 26 2009 @ 01:39 pm: [report]
@JSW…. Now you have me thinking. A tale of my all my first dates… anonymously, of course
JD, I can’t remember. It was high school, I don’t remember an actual “date.” I think we went to a park or something, and maybe had water ice, which we probably split.
JR the second, I believe I did pay, although it was my birthday ... hmmm. Which led into a seven year relationship during which I supported both of us on an adjunct-lecturer’s salary. Fun!
Then there was AM, and there was really no “first date,” but I did pay for everything entirely every time we went out.
Then there was JK, who paid for dinner, but I paid for the bottle of wine, and again, nearly everything during the remainder of our relationship.
Then SK, and yes, he did pay for the first date. I offered, but I think I remember him paying. It seemed important to him, so I let him. Later on, I paid for more dinners. He was significantly wealthier than me, and paid for probably about 60-70% of our fun. But it would have been closer to 50% if he didn’t have such a taste for expensive fun!
My current guy paid for our first dinner, but I paid for drinks. He then paid for movie tickets, and I paid for popcorn.
LOL, sexual favors? Blush. I don’t know… but, looking back on this little tale, there is no correlation between whether and when clothes came off and who paid, I’ll say that.
Though I did have a date a few months ago with a guy for frozen yogurt, which he did not even offer to pay for mine OR his. When I paid, he said “I’ll get it next time.” There was no next time, but mostly it had to do with the fact that he had moobs.
brandyalexander
wrote on August 26 2009 @ 01:49 pm: [report]
Sorry that was so long… those are only the ones that are memorable and led to any kind of a relationship…
brandyalexander
wrote on August 26 2009 @ 01:52 pm: [report]
Oh, and JR and AM were the ones where I made the first move.
*sam*
wrote on August 26 2009 @ 01:54 pm: [report]
every “first date” (and really the first couple of dates to be honest) that I can EVER remember going on, has been paid for by the guy. Not b/c I didn’t offer, but because they absolutely insisted. On a couple 2nd or third dates (or even movies after dinner on the first) I’ve even gone so far as slipping my debit card to the server (or movie-ticket-person) before him, and it never seemed to work.. it always ended up with the guy telling the person not to put it on that, but to put it on his instead. *shrugs* not that I need to worry a/b first dates anymore (*un*officially engaged
) but, it got to the point after a while that I stopped offering on a first date. It gets tiring arguing about it so much!!! I guess I’m lucky to have found a guy that doesn’t put so much emphasis on this (seemingly minor, in my mind anyway) detail!!!
_jsw_
wrote on August 26 2009 @ 02:17 pm: [report]
@brandyalexander: “Sorry that was so long…” In other words, about half as long as my average comment.
I’m sorry that you gave up so early on Mr. Moobs. If you’ve been following the site, you’re aware that some men can breastfeed and that breast milk products are everywhere. Gave away a gold mine when you let go of that one, you did. It sounds like we’ve had similar numbers of first dates with similar “is this actually a date”-edness about many of them.
@*sam*: I had no idea you were essentially engaged! Of course, I retract my go-cart date offer, but I offer my congratulations instead!
MediaExecutive
wrote on August 26 2009 @ 02:17 pm: [report]
@brandy: “he didn’t even offer to pay…. there was no next time”
Exactly. You remember not only that you paid for two crummy frozen yogurts - but that he didn’t even offer. How did that make you feel? Probably like a doormat. He obviously thinks you’re not worth spending 5 bucks on. Cya.
Same for me.
The rules above are just guidelines. In reality it can be a little more complicated.
When the bill comes I offer to pay first - because I’m the man and that’s still the rule. We are not yet complete barbarians. I’ll just put my credit card in the check without looking at it.
If she offers to pay half I might agree and she puts her card in the check also and we move on. Or I might decide I want to pay for it all - and I’ll say “Its my treat, you can get I next time.” If she doesn’t offer at all - thats a bad sign. I won’t say anything of course, but I’ll notice and remember just like you did.
My first offer to pay is just polite and I expect expect her to show a willingness to share the cost. My second offer to pay is genuine and I expect a word of gratitude like you do whenever anyone gives you a gift.
What gets me to insist on paying the bill depends on the woman. If she is a professional woman with a good job and we talk all about her professional ambitions then that is the modern pattern and I let her pay half the bill as she should. Or we can do an every other date back and forth.
If during our date she tells me of her love of baking cherry pie and her dreams of raising children in a leafy suburb - she’s never paying for anything. But by the time we get a couple of dates in I’m expecting June to have baked me at least one cherry pie.
I have another little rule - in a restaurant if you look at the bill - you should be paying at least half. Proper gifts don’t have price tags.
@jsw: I don’t claim to be charming but I do write my own posts. You can decide.
_jsw_
wrote on August 26 2009 @ 02:21 pm: [report]
@MediaExecutive: The “as charming as you think you are” bit was snarky and I apologize. You’ve definitely shown a sense of humor, and, should we go on a man-date, I’ll fully expect us to split the tab.
*sam*
wrote on August 26 2009 @ 02:25 pm: [report]
@_jsw_: AWWW! but, there’s no ring on my finger just yet!!! lol. man, and I LOVE put-put and gokart racing too!!! I was even going to offer to spring for laser tag!!!
_jsw_
wrote on August 26 2009 @ 02:32 pm: [report]
@*sam*: Phew! So I still have a chance. I am a laser-tag virgin, so you could show me how it’s done (heh heh), as I’ve always wanted to try that and paintball (but not simultaneously). Review my video for a basic personality compatibility check, then I’ll check out ticket prices. Don’t be surprised if I collect small samples of dirt or sand from where we go. I’ll place it all into a jar so that, later on, we’ll always have part of wherever we’ve been together with us. I mention this only to (a) show my romantic side and (b) raise the bar for your near-fiancé.
*sam*
wrote on August 26 2009 @ 02:40 pm: [report]
@_jsw_: ooo, I’ll be sure to let him know he’s got some pretty hefty competition
and being the LLS that I am, I would venture that we ALL take a trip to an empty field armed with paintball guns so I can make you BOTH jump through hoops to vie for my affection by literally, jumping in front of me to ‘save’ my paintball life. Note, you will be judged on: athleticism; romantic gestures (laying down in a puddle for me to walk on top of you to cross sort of thing) and how nice your “gun” is—b/c one determines your wealth (I can’t leech off a poor man) and the other, well, shouldn’t need an explanation
workerbee
wrote on August 26 2009 @ 03:08 pm: [report]
@loves2spooge: that’s the exact same thing I took from the rest of the article. No call=he’s just not that into me, move on.
@mediaexec: I love to bake and cook and I’m a very good baker. If the date went well, I’m much less likely to offer to pay since I know I’ll have another opportunity to repay in some manner. If the date is going badly, or I know I never want to see the guy again, I’m more likely to offer so I don’t feel badly for “taking advantage” of the guy or whatnot. However, in my relationships, I have done my fair share of paying for things. One in particular, I paid for every outing since he was unemployed. So basing some idea that a woman not paying on the first date is showing some sort of precancerous growth is wrong, IMO. It’s a first date, sure there are some things that indicate how the relationship may progress, but it usually takes at least two to get a good feel.
_jsw_
wrote on August 26 2009 @ 03:11 pm: [report]
@*sam*: Thanks, and, for the record, I am trying to lose some weight.
I accept the challenge. As he is a strapping young Marine, I’m not sure if I can best him there, but we’ll see. I’m quite competitive in the romantic gestures area, although I won’t be laying in a puddle for you to walk on, since you’ll be in the elevated and protected room that I’ll build for you (from which you can watch the battle), which will be complete with a cooler full of drinks, a hammock, and an internet connection from which you could live-blog the whole thing for TheFrisky.
As far as the gun goes… I might be at a loss there. All the paintball guns I’ve seen online are skinny, use tiny balls, and fire as soon as you touch the trigger, so that wouldn’t be very indicative, although they all can fire repeatedly while remaining stiff, so I suppose there’s some similarity there.
workerbee
wrote on August 26 2009 @ 03:12 pm: [report]
@sam: can we make that a requirement for men wanting to join the LLSA? I could go for watching people vie over me! And just to make the second part easier, I say we have them do it Ancient Greek Olympian style.
*sam*
wrote on August 26 2009 @ 03:19 pm: [report]
literally, LOL!!!! _jsw_: we should def. let Amelia, Annika, Jessica, et. al. know so they can help me judge. b/c, as a proper LLSA, I also can’t make any decisions by myself. & yes workerbee, I think that’s a great idea!! again, we should create a panel of judges to help our feeble minds decide. Perhaps John DeVore could be the sole male judge that finally ends our ‘mindless squabbling and screeching’ and makes the final decision??
_jsw_
wrote on August 26 2009 @ 03:20 pm: [report]
@workerbee: I have no problem with your suggestion, except for the last bit of it. As much as I might respect my fellow competitors, I refuse to “do” them in any way, particularly Ancient Greek Olympian style. I’m just not into men, literally or figuratively. I’m sorry if this disqualifies me.
_jsw_
wrote on August 26 2009 @ 03:25 pm: [report]
@*sam*: I’m all for everything you suggested, as long as I don’t need to show my gun to JDV. Whether it turns out to be a shotgun compared to his BB gun or a pistol compared to his howitzer, either way, he’ll end up blogging about it. However, while I do agree that it’d be fine to compete in front of a panel of you LLSA’s, in the end, I’ll make the decision for you: I win. No need to hurt your nearly unused little brains to try to decide. Still, even though it’s pre-decided, it should be fun. Just let me know which drinks you all prefer. Or, since you probably can’t even decide that, I’ll throw in the drinks I like.
*sam*
wrote on August 26 2009 @ 03:29 pm: [report]
@_jsw_: no worries a/b showing your gun to JDV. nobody at the LLSA condones homosexual activity (unless of course, it’s a FMF threesome for the man’s pleasure). I mean, you can’t very well leech off another LLS!!!
_jsw_
wrote on August 26 2009 @ 03:32 pm: [report]
@*sam*: Phew! That’s a relief. And some FMF action would be fun. Since I’m normally more into the FFFMFFF scene, the FMF action would seem far more intimate and, plus, I’d at least have both feet and probably at least one hand available, which would be nice. Then at least I could use the remote to change the TV channel if I got bored.
workerbee
wrote on August 26 2009 @ 03:32 pm: [report]
@jsw: Whew! Thank you for taking that burden off of us! My brain was already about to explode thinking of how I would decide on a winner but throw in preferred drinks? I would just collapse from exhaustion! Although the outcome has been decided, I still insist that the competition take place in front of a full LLSA panel. If you do not wish to do it naked and greased up, then you’ll have to don the loin cloth. The second part of the competition could take place in a special room away from John DeVore’s blogging eyes, but I fear that will still make us feeble women all a tizz. We are unable to handle that type of thing, you know. Too much for our fragile being.
_jsw_
wrote on August 26 2009 @ 03:37 pm: [report]
@workerbee: Ohhhh. *light dawns* You just meant naked and greased up. Of course that’s fine! Why would I want to “dress” any differently than I do normally anyway? I’m assuming you’ll grease me up, though. It’s the least you could do, given that I’ll be performing for you.
*sam*
wrote on August 26 2009 @ 03:37 pm: [report]
_jsw_: where would womankind be without you?? **swoon**
JennyPurr
wrote on August 26 2009 @ 03:45 pm: [report]
In regards to #2, my general rule is who ever does the asking does the paying…and planning! And to clarify, I’m talking about actual dates that involve some planning, and not last minute hang out sessions at a local lounge.
To be fair, if there is a 2nd date, the other person should ask, plan, and pay.
_jsw_
wrote on August 26 2009 @ 03:57 pm: [report]
In a better place, *sam*. In a better place.
workerbee
wrote on August 26 2009 @ 03:59 pm: [report]
@jsw: of course I’ll handle the greasing up! I’m sure I’m more than capable based off of my expertise in the baking dept. I think coconut oil is nice smelling and greasy enough.
brandyalexander
wrote on August 26 2009 @ 04:04 pm: [report]
@jsw and media exec: maybe i should have held onto him, i could have made my own fro-yo.
slip
wrote on August 26 2009 @ 04:07 pm: [report]
@_jsw_, I’ve recently had several first dates that were also last dates. Like you, I was a relationship guy in my 20’s and 30’s. Marriage came, then divorce. Imagine my surprise to learn that after 40, a man in decent shape can date women literally from 21 to 61. I’ve learned to be picky just to keep the numbers under control, which is bizarre to say the least since I’m not especially handsome, wealthy or charming.
A first date is, as you say, the start of a romantic relationship. I want an LTR, and I know that couples have to endure all kinds of bad things during the course of one. Appreciation is nice, but I’m looking for qualities that hold up in the longer run.
And I’ve learned a lot by taking this approach instead of just looking for long legs and a firm bustline. Earlier this year, I had a woman tell me up front that she was broke when I asked her out. She did it knowing that I might have backed out on the date. But her honesty and courage instantly made her far more attractive. In fact, she would have had to work hard for me NOT to call for a second date.
About that same time, I also had a first date with a woman who ordered a total of five Grey Goose martinis with dinner and flirted with the bartender. The tab was $220. There was no offer to help pay, not even the pretend fumbling for the purse. She probably wonders why I don’t return her calls…
I refuse to tolerate women who consider themselves more valuable than others.
Slip
_jsw_
wrote on August 26 2009 @ 04:14 pm: [report]
@workerbee: Of course you can grease me “up” with anything you’d prefer.
@brandyalexander: You could have marketed it as “fro-bro-yo”. You could then be posting your comments from your private yacht.
@slip: I understand your position a lot more than I did originally, and I agree with most of what you’ve said. I think we’d both turn down mostly the same women who acted in various ways, and both accept the actions of mostly the same others. Again, I’ve had nothing but good experiences, and the Grey Goose story, in particular, is one which drives your point home. I don’t mind the tradition of paying - nor do you seem especially put off by it - but, like you, I don’t like the presumption that I should pay simply because my date deigned to allow me to spend money on her. I don’t have a Grey Goose story, or I’d likely have been less initially contrary to your comments.
*sam*
wrote on August 26 2009 @ 04:23 pm: [report]
maybe I’m just too young to understand, but, *honestly* who in their right mind orders Grey Goose martinis on a first date!?!?! I wouldn’t even think to order alcohol at all b/c if the guy where to pay for everything, I wouldn’t want to raise the bill anymore than necessary!! sheesh!!—now, I’m not saying that I would only order a side salad and water, but, I wouldn’t go for the “market price” lobster & top shelf mixed drink either!!
hearing some of these stories, I can at least understand why there are some guys out there who take the ‘who pays/offers to pay’ thing so seriously!!
CheeeeEEEEse
wrote on August 26 2009 @ 05:43 pm: [report]
@sam: I’m lost. What happened? Also, fyi, I drink Bombay Sapphire martinis.
*sam*
wrote on August 26 2009 @ 06:38 pm: [report]
@cheeeeEEEEse: slip mentioned that he had gone on a date with a woman that managed to order 5 Grey Goose martinis and at the end of the night the bill was $220 and she didn’t offer to help split the tab at all, which offended him and he never asked her on a second date. then I mentioned that I didn’t understand why someone would conduct themselves in such a manner on a first date as I’ve always been taught to be considerate of the bill when there’s a chance you won’t be paying.
but if you were referencing my earlier comments about the LLSA (leeching lazy sluts of America), then _jsw_, workerbee, and I have decided to implement a competition for men interested in dating said LLS’ which compromises being judged on athleticism, over-the-top romantic gestures, and one’s “gun”—all of which will be played out in a Roman-esque fashion including hot body oils and naked men and will be judged by a panel of LLSA members but since ultimately, a panel of women could *never* reach a conclusion, the said male (or perhaps JDV) is to make the final call. and _jsw_ will provide us with his favorite drinks as us ‘feeble women’ cannot be expected to make up our minds on our own favorite drinks.
_jsw_
wrote on August 26 2009 @ 06:41 pm: [report]
@*sam*: Excellent summary!
@CheeeeEEEEse: I’ll swing by and pick you up on my way down. I figure, if there are enough drunken LLSAs, it really won’t matter if we have to be naked and greased up. In fact, it’ll help.
*sam*
wrote on August 26 2009 @ 06:44 pm: [report]
@_jsw_: thanks!!! I knew summarizing all of those “Good Housekeeping” articles would come in handy one day!!!
workerbee
wrote on August 26 2009 @ 06:50 pm: [report]
Stupid blackberry lost my previous comment.
@sam: I’m there with you on the top shelf drinks. I may get a beer or wine but that’s about it. Also, I may be dating the wrong guys since we usually go for cheap eats. The ironic thing is I’m a foodie. I just save the expensive meals for eating by myself or with other foodies where I pay for my own meal.
@jsw: I’ll grease you up, down, and back again. Though if CheeeeEEEse is coming then I may need a fellow LLSA member to help.
_jsw_
wrote on August 26 2009 @ 06:56 pm: [report]
@workerbee: I can’t imagine being anything but up when you grease me, but if CheeeeEEEEse is coming, we might want to step out of the way first.
_jsw_
wrote on August 26 2009 @ 06:57 pm: [report]
@*sam*: You might want to see if Cliff Notes is hiring.
*sam*
wrote on August 26 2009 @ 07:04 pm: [report]
@_jsw_: but wouldn’t I have to revoke my LLSA membership then???
_jsw_
wrote on August 26 2009 @ 07:08 pm: [report]
@*sam*: Of course not. You can still be lazy, you can still leech, you can still be a slut, and you can still live in this country. Nothing said you can’t also be smart or even (*gasp*) be employed, as long as you hide it well. I won’t tell anyone.
_jsw_
wrote on August 26 2009 @ 07:12 pm: [report]
I’m pretty sure there was a point to this article, but I’m too lazy to scroll to the top to remember. Sorry to hijack your thread, Phil, but doing so has led you to the top of the most-commented articles area with your very first post. That’s fantastic!
*sam*
wrote on August 26 2009 @ 07:18 pm: [report]
@_jsw_: well, in THAT case, you’re right, I should probably look into it. (seriously though, the book nerd in me thinks this would be a *crazy* fun job—I’m hopeless, I know).
and agreed, it is quite impressive Phil. congratulations
(though, I don’t know how the editors ‘rank’ the posts, or if they do at all…*shrugs*)
writergirl
wrote on August 26 2009 @ 07:19 pm: [report]
@jsw—are his posts even in this thread anymore?
_jsw_
wrote on August 26 2009 @ 07:30 pm: [report]
@*sam*: I think it’s rather adorable that you’d like that job. Seriously.
@writergirl: I dunno. I’m too lazy to scroll that far up. You do realize we mean Phil Dotree, not Phil in Reno, right?
angel001717
wrote on August 26 2009 @ 08:04 pm: [report]
jsw - life post jackass is lovely. been on one date since. we had dessert at the local diner. he paid. and has asked for other dates since then. he was nice…
Sami
wrote on August 26 2009 @ 08:16 pm: [report]
I think one of the main reasons he doesn’t call you back is you dressed up a little too much or you acted way too sophisticated, I mean if you want to dress up fine but if you do be prepared not to get a call back because it can intimidate a guy(I have observed this on many occasions while waiting for my lobster at Red Lobster or my Gator bites at Marley’s, it is kind of funny because right after the meal comes the guy pulls the old “I am going to the bathroom wait for me” deal and leaves; I stiil don’t know why the girl buys it); also talking about clothes and girly stuff is kind of a no-no in general because most guys(and me) have no clue what designer made those jeans you are wearing and quite frankly don’t care. Also talking about your sorority is a big no-no as well because next thing you know he will be going out with your sorority sister so don’t talk about it, talk about things he likes like cars and music heck even talk about guy magazines because it might win you a second date or a longterm relationship with him; guys don’t really understand female things so try to use male likes or interests to get his attention but don’t overdue it(I would suggest talking about his car first and maneuvering the conversation towards your car and then to yourself slowly because he won’t notice, they never ) and finally RELAX if you are all tense and fidgity you will turn him off right away so chill out and have fun. Just some advice no offense intended…
_jsw_
wrote on August 26 2009 @ 08:18 pm: [report]
@angel001717: I’m really glad to hear that.
workerbee
wrote on August 26 2009 @ 08:32 pm: [report]
@jsw: after re-reading what you wrote about “paintball guns” I see what you mean about not needing to be greased down. I will be more than happy to make sure you are constantly greased “up”
Isabela Laval
wrote on August 26 2009 @ 09:18 pm: [report]
@Sami: You can’t be friggin’ serious. This is a joke, right?
_jsw_
wrote on August 26 2009 @ 09:40 pm: [report]
@Isabela Laval: I’m not sure. What I do know is that, intended as serious or not, I thought it was hilarious.
Sami
wrote on August 26 2009 @ 09:42 pm: [report]
@Isabela Laval,
Most of it is but not the bathroom exit thing, I have seen it dozens of times and I just keep wondering why the girls don’t wise up to it; most of this info actually was meant as a joke I mean I pulled it off the top of my head so most likely it was stuff I heard off comedy central or some comedy show so no biggie. After all if I had been serious I would have listed my sources so of course it is a joke, I mean if you want to know my opinion on Politics here it is(it’s a bunch of kids in gym class on opposite sides of the court about to play dodgeball, one side likes to play because they get paid the other side likes to play because thier peers want them to win; this game never got started because it turned into w “My idea is better than your idea” whinefest and it never will start because they will never come to a agreement); I am joking 89% of the time I post so don’t take my post too seriously though I should add a disclaimer….
_jsw_
wrote on August 26 2009 @ 09:43 pm: [report]
@workerbee: Let me know if you feel like you need to practice any before the event, but I don’t think you’ll need to do much at all. We men are simple folk. Pretty much just thinking about it does the trick. Along those lines, I’ll be in my bunk.
_jsw_
wrote on August 26 2009 @ 09:45 pm: [report]
@Sami: Please tell me you take breaths while typing. I always read things “out loud” in my head, and yours come across as nearly breathless by the end. If I know you actually stop and take a breath every once in a while, I’ll feel less anxious for you.
Sami
wrote on August 26 2009 @ 09:46 pm: [report]
@JSW, thank you I try my best to be funny after all and it such hard work(not really) it takes alot out of you kinda like a jelly donut; life is only worthwhile if you learn to laugh and joke around a bit(or in my case alot) otherwise it gets monotonous and boring. Now do you know where I can get a bucket of clams at this hr….
CheeeeEEEEse
wrote on August 26 2009 @ 09:48 pm: [report]
Excuse me peeps, but I used to play paintball pseudo-frequently, and there is no oil in there. It’s water based paint.
Sami
wrote on August 26 2009 @ 09:53 pm: [report]
@JSW
Of course I breathe while typing, because if I didn’t my oversized lungs would deflate like a bad party ballon that has a leak in it; but then again I don’t even speak while typing I just type what I am thinking straight onto the post or report I am writing. Oh and the fact that you read things in your head is quite intersting because very few people can do that(I can), thanks for your concern about my health but to be honest unless I come down with a case of Swine Flu I am not too worried; and BTW Nice moon….
Sami
wrote on August 26 2009 @ 09:58 pm: [report]
@CheeeEEEEse
Really I always thought they just put food coloring in them or some kind of clay, but then again I also want to drive a tank someday(preferabbly not in a warzone)and belong to a family of unique collections(as in everything under the sun) so who am I to judge anyone; I always wanted to play paintball but my parents and friends said I would go a little overboard if I did….
_jsw_
wrote on August 26 2009 @ 09:59 pm: [report]
@CheeeeEEEEse: Dude, you are so far behind here. The paintball has nothing to do with the grease; the grease will be part of the nude wrestling. That said, I’ll probably skip the wrestling and just stick with workerbee greasing me up. That said, she said a few days ago that you were her favorite, so maybe you’ll be the one being greased and I’ll be off wrestling, um… someone. I’m not sure who else will be there besides *sam‘s almost-fiancé, and I’m not wrestling a marine.
@Sami:I feel much better now. I didn’t actually think that you held your breath while typing, but yeah, I “hear” things as I read, and so, yes… you ended up way out of breath. You also were talking quickly, regardless of how you speak IRL. Thanks also on the compliment. Many don’t enjoy being mooned, but some people do like seeing a nice ass(trological picture).
_jsw_
wrote on August 26 2009 @ 10:01 pm: [report]
You know, we really do need a forum around here, powers-that-be. it’d remove a fair bit of banter from the blog posts.
Sami
wrote on August 26 2009 @ 10:11 pm: [report]
@jsw
I get the talking too quickly thing alot, but at least I have promising fallback plan as a auctioneer if all else fails; glad you got the humor in the comment I posted(I was reffering to your picture of Luna but glad you got the other meaning I was trying to convey) it makes me feel all warm and fuzzy. Wait a second that’s my cat, oh well at least I feel appreciated for my hard work in the art of humor(I still laugh at the uranus pronunciation, they changed it but it is worse now it sounds like urinous) it takes lot’s of talent and WAY too much free time to perfect the art of humor, a predisposition to humor helps as well but it still takes as much effort as the hard work of eating a Cinnimon Roll too make humor an art; the work is exsuasting like flippimg channels on the television but it is worth it to bring humor to the world. Doesn’t it sound like “hard” work to be a comedian, it really is I swear scouts honor(I was never a scout) and on my mother’s grave; oops she isn’t dead yet so I can’t swear on anything shoot…
*sam*
wrote on August 26 2009 @ 11:48 pm: [report]
@_jsw_: OMG, whenever I read sami‘s comments, I thought she (I’m assuming??) ran out of breath too!!! and is ‘hearing’ what you read really that uncommon??? (oh, and FTR, whenever I happen to read back whatever I wrote, for some reason, I usually ‘hear’ myself sounding like an airhead…unless I’m seriously debating with someone, but at any rate..)
and don’t worry a/b wrestling w/ my marine. I’m sure you’ve read (a good portion) of my other posts, and therefore are aware that he’s not really the “GRRRR, OORHA!” sort of marine… he’s more of a teddy bear than anything… so, I’m sure you’ll be fine
@sami: I get the ‘wow, you should be an auctioneer’ thing all the time too—especially after I’m forced to read anything out loud to a group of people.
_jsw_
wrote on August 27 2009 @ 12:10 am: [report]
@*sam*: Trust me. I talk faster than you do.
I truly wish I would talk more slowly more often. But I just… talk quickly. Oh well.
And I’ll try wrestling him. But I’m still wary of it. Anything for you, though.
Frederica Bimble
wrote on August 27 2009 @ 05:43 am: [report]
All,
There is a troll on here who is just trying to get a rise. I ask that everyone just reports the guy and doesn’t bother replying. He isn’t worth anyone’s time on here.
Personally, I am fed up with going to sites and seeing some good debate or information and then having some imbecile ruin it. I think the Frisky could be a bit more economical on where they put their ads. What I also find interesting is, it is hardly ever the case for a woman to go and ruin a site for men but men, who feel they aren’t getting enough attention - like little children - will post the most vile, time-wasting, comments on a site geared toward women. Gee, why it that? And, folks, that was rhethorical. I already know the answer. Since, I can rely on at least one woman to answer this fool, I suppose my sensible post will go “in one ear and out the other.”
Remember, if you don’t give energy to something/someone, it will go away.
Where is the moderator of this site? Yep, I’ve heard alot in my years and it isn’t the words, it’s how much I feel pity for idiots like this guy. When does it end?
*sam*
wrote on August 27 2009 @ 09:03 am: [report]
@_jsw_: ooo, I’ll get the body oils ready
_jsw_
wrote on August 27 2009 @ 09:18 am: [report]
@*sam*: Excellent! Please try to make sure that what I’ll be wearing and what he’ll be wearing are scent-compatible so that we smell OK after rubbing ourselves all over each other like rutting greased pigs.
*sam*
wrote on August 27 2009 @ 09:31 am: [report]
@_jsw_: ah, yes. good call. strawberry for one, and kiwi for the other then?
_jsw_
wrote on August 27 2009 @ 09:39 am: [report]
@*sam*: Perfect. I’ll take the kiwi, if that’s OK, because I’m fuzzy on the outside but surprisingly green and just the right amount of sweet on the inside.
*sam*
wrote on August 27 2009 @ 09:50 am: [report]
@_jsw_: that’s perfect b/c Chris works well dipped in chocolate
_jsw_
wrote on August 27 2009 @ 09:55 am: [report]
@*sam*: That’s cool*. I work well with champagne, so it’s settled.
* And quite witty. Kudos!
CheeeeEEEEse
wrote on August 27 2009 @ 09:56 am: [report]
@Sam and jsw: In Soviet Russia Champagne works well on me. Russian reversal!
*sam*
wrote on August 27 2009 @ 09:57 am: [report]
@_jsw_: oo this is going to be fun!!!!
and thank you
_jsw_
wrote on August 27 2009 @ 10:02 am: [report]
@CheeeeEEEEse: Well played, sir. I look forward to seeing you at the greasing-up.
@*sam*: Sooo much fun. And you’re welcome!
@TheFrisky: Forums. Seriously. Please. Contact me and I will set them up for you. Please.
slip
wrote on August 27 2009 @ 11:01 am: [report]
@_jsw_, thanks for your patience—and your tenacity. With any luck, you should be able to avoid EVER having a Grey Goose story.
I hope so, anyway.
Slip
workerbee
wrote on August 27 2009 @ 11:32 am: [report]
@jsw: I did say CheeeeEEEEse was my favorite for his love of the IBTC girls but you are right up there too. Love your witty comments and have for some time. This is why we shall have the naked greased up competition. It will be settled once and for all. I still like my coconut oil though; smells yummy to me. What goes well with that though? Pineapple?
CheeeeEEEEse
wrote on August 27 2009 @ 11:48 am: [report]
Itty bitty titty committee!
_jsw_
wrote on August 27 2009 @ 11:57 am: [report]
@workerbee: You have failed to realize that I too love ITBC girls and, in fact, am partial to them over above-average endowments. I prefer to keep my “grade point average”, as it were, high, and C/D/more-than-D sizes are are detrimental to that. And yes, pineapple is fine, and also reportedly has other benefits when consumed, so I’ll eat plenty before I go down.
*re-reads last part of sentence above*
Yeah, I didn’t mean it in that way, but there’s quite a few entendres in there.
_jsw_
wrote on August 27 2009 @ 11:58 am: [report]
@slip: Certainly, as long as my social interaction is limited to websites, the financial downsides are pretty minimal.
But thanks. And best of luck to you as well.
workerbee
wrote on August 27 2009 @ 12:22 pm: [report]
@jsw: I literally burst out laughing in my office after reading that. Unintended double entendres are the best! I do that too but don’t usually catch myself until someone points it out. I also welcome all lovers of IBTC girls. I hadn’t seen you state any preference before, I apologize for overlooking it. I suppose I should also up my consumption of pineapple…
brandyalexander
wrote on August 27 2009 @ 12:23 pm: [report]
OK, so I’m more like a B, but I heard someone say this once:
“I may be an A cup, but at least its an A plus.”
_jsw_
wrote on August 27 2009 @ 01:04 pm: [report]
@workerbee: Pineapple is good for you, but the rumored benefit to men is an improved… taste. It might work the same for women, but in my general experience, that taste shouldn’t be messed with as it’s already quite pleasant. I’d be happy to offer before-and-after opinions, though.
spatula
wrote on August 27 2009 @ 01:05 pm: [report]
OK i’m not going to lie, I didn’t read all of the comments. Sorry. Too much back and forth for me. But my opinion on the article: I don’t love over generalized articles like this, but this one is probably fairly accurate.
As for the oh-so-controversial #2, I have a date tonight, and will not be offering to pay, since he asked me out by saying “Let me take you out to dinner” which I feel signifies his intent to pay, whether I offer or not. However, in situations where the guy’s intention to pay is not so clearly expressed, I would at least offer to pay. For MY dinner.
Jewels86
wrote on August 27 2009 @ 01:49 pm: [report]
I’m new to this site and I have to say.. Your comments have kept me thoroughly entertained
I enjoyed reading all your back and forth but definitely wish I could have seen the comments left by Indigo or klyvc or whatever his name was.
As for the article, I think it was well written despite the generalization. It’s definitely a touchy subject for some people (obviously)
I think its fair to say whoever is asking generally pays, unless otherwise stated or insisted upon by the other party. I have been in both situations, but I can see how it can be a tricky issue. Or when the waiter comes over to ask the dreaded question “are your bills together or separate?”. This causes a VERY awkward pause and waiting period while you both deliberate. thinking, “well are we together.. or separate? we’re not together together buuuuuut…?” I always let him decide if the question is asked. this prevents confusion on my part.
I guess I could also be classified as a lazy leaching slut by the previous definition.. Since I am dating a guy who often pays for dinners. However I pay for the car and ocassional groceries.. so Im sure it evens out.
workerbee
wrote on August 27 2009 @ 01:59 pm: [report]
@jsw: I actually believe the improved taste via pineapple consumption to be true. Unless it was a fluke due to something else, it can be improved greatly depending on the before. I just assumed it works for women too, I think a before and after definitely should be conducted. For scientific purposes, of course.
_jsw_
wrote on August 27 2009 @ 02:08 pm: [report]
@workerbee: I was just joking around before. But… now you’ve invoked science, and I never joke about science. You’re on. I’ll head down (as it were) to test you pre-pineapple, and then weekly once you start eating pineapple. I figure about an hour per session should be fine, with ten of those minutes being used for note-taking. We can blog about the results here.
BrookeVB
wrote on August 27 2009 @ 02:29 pm: [report]
Ok, so I’m kinda with WorkerBee, DancerNinja, AND jsw on this one… in different ways. First of all, MOST women in this country still make LESS than MOST men in this country. As such, the wealthier person going on the date is usually male. Additionally, regardless of the social shifting society is doing, men still pursue women and therefore need to put some effort into keeping one. It’s not uncommon for me, personally, to have several dinner or night out invitations from different men on a given weekend. If I picked YOU, you should appreciate the opportunity and do what you can to impress me. Like it or not, that’s reality. YES, women have to put MUCH more effort into getting ready for a date. A man showers, shaves his face (if that), puts on deodorant and a shirt and pants, and he’s ready to go. Chances are the woman went through a LOT more to get ready. Then there’s the good ole tradition aspect of it. I usually will offer to pay, but if he takes me up on it, I’m not interested in a second date.
workerbee
wrote on August 27 2009 @ 03:12 pm: [report]
@jsw: Excellent idea! We just need to work on our theory, hypothesis, and procedure before we begin. I think if we submit it to some major scientific institutions we should get all funding covered. We are after all doing this for the betterment of mankind. It’s a selfless act really.
*sam*
wrote on August 27 2009 @ 03:14 pm: [report]
@_jsw_ & workerbee: ...glad to know I’m not the only one that enjoys the scientific method!!!
Jewels86
wrote on August 27 2009 @ 03:20 pm: [report]
@jsw and WorkerBee: I can definitely speak for mankind in saying, I appreciate your scientific efforts and will eagerly await results. once results are in, I think an “at home testing” should be implemented.
Sami
wrote on August 27 2009 @ 03:23 pm: [report]
You guys are on your way to a nobel prize, so how will you spend the 2 million dollar prize that comes with it; oh and I am a fluctuating cup(my cup size goes up as my weight goes down) freaky eh’....
Santiago
wrote on August 27 2009 @ 03:38 pm: [report]
@workerbee Though i don’t expect women to pay for the first date I really appreciate if at some point they offer to pay for the next one.
that conveys 2 very important things. 1. your interested in a second date. 2. Your a generious person.
I consider myself to be a very generous person, so I hope to find someone who is equally generous. ideally i want a partner in life, not someone i have to mount on my shoulders.
_jsw_
wrote on August 27 2009 @ 03:40 pm: [report]
@workerbee: I’ll determine my approach and pass it by you for review. You’re not obligated to perform your own study, although of course that’d be fine. I suggest we consider saving time by performing the studies simultaneously if that’s the case. I can’t wait until we start getting into it.
@*sam*: Oh, I enjoy it. I really enjoy it. The lab work is the best part.
@Jewels86: We’ll happily publish our methodology and results and will use the data from any at-home volunteers for our second study.
@Sami: We’ll likely spend the prize money paying off the travel and pineapple expenses incurred by the study.
_jsw_
wrote on August 27 2009 @ 03:47 pm: [report]
@Santiago: No offense, but if you’re mounting her on your shoulders, you’re likely doing it wrong anyway (except for a few advanced positions).
Sami
wrote on August 27 2009 @ 03:48 pm: [report]
@workerbee
Do you watch Anime or something, juat asking because of your Bakugan pic(I skim through channels on saturday morning) which is Anime; just curious so can you explain it for me..
@jsw
I would spend the money on a house or invest it personally, but what if you had leftover money what would you spend it on?
*sam*
wrote on August 27 2009 @ 03:49 pm: [report]
@_jsw_: I’m not sure which I enjoy more: men in goggles holding a test tube, or super-nerdy computer geek with glasses talking about RAM… either way, I always enjoy ‘testing your hypothesis’
Sami
wrote on August 27 2009 @ 04:16 pm: [report]
Can anyone tell me how to upload a tif photo file to be a screenphoto, I mean can I change the file type and if so how….
_jsw_
wrote on August 27 2009 @ 04:21 pm: [report]
@sami: Email me the file at the address you’ll find here, and I’ll email you a JPEG version back.
@*sam*: As a super-nerdy computer geek with glasses, that’s really good news to me. We can discuss RAM
mingall you’d like, and I’ll happily wear goggles if you’d prefer. I have many hypotheses to verify.CheeeeEEEEse
wrote on August 27 2009 @ 04:32 pm: [report]
@jsw: Go reflash your CMOS, you’re overclocking isn’t stable and you’re going to overheat.
Untangle that geekspeak.
_jsw_
wrote on August 27 2009 @ 04:36 pm: [report]
I’m a Mac. No need to reflash or overclock, although I do run a bit hot. I just work, I have no viruses, and I’m sexy to look at. I’m also overpriced, but not as much as I used to be.
Sami
wrote on August 27 2009 @ 04:38 pm: [report]
Stupid e-mail service won’t let me send the photo jsw, it is really getting annoying I wonder why I keep the thing(besides the fact that it’s free); I’ll try setting up a facebook account and transfer from there…
Sami
wrote on August 27 2009 @ 04:40 pm: [report]
I got a Dell(04 model, it got improved big time by the UW Tech guys) it runs great but my internet service is Charter sop it doesn’t work all the time, funny thing is my old computer runs just as well as some of the newer models….
_jsw_
wrote on August 27 2009 @ 04:41 pm: [report]
No problem, Sami. If you manage to put it anywhere accessible on the web, just email me with its location. I’ll be busy for a few hours, so don’t think I’m ignoring you.
*sam*
wrote on August 27 2009 @ 05:20 pm: [report]
@_jsw_: you’re a mac?? aww, what a shame—I’m a PC
_jsw_
wrote on August 27 2009 @ 05:29 pm: [report]
@*sam*: Try me. Once you go Mac, you won’t go back.
*sam*
wrote on August 27 2009 @ 05:53 pm: [report]
@_jsw_: yeah, but can you run my favorite programs?? b/c there are just some things I need…
Sami
wrote on August 27 2009 @ 06:02 pm: [report]
Just set up a Facebook account and I still can’t upload those photos,I wonder if it has to do with the fact the camera isn’t plugged into my computer; to find my account look under Wheeler-Gertgen to find it and choose the account that obviously belongs to a girl.
Well at least the one with a female name, we can’t all be Valley Girls some of us are outdoor sports and roller coaster fanatics who like Action Adveture movies instead of shopping; I am not kidding I can’t stand being in a clothing store for more than 45 minutes it is so confusing. A Best Buy on the other hand I could spend hrs in just looking around, is that wrong….
_jsw_
wrote on August 27 2009 @ 06:20 pm: [report]
@Sami: I’ll look into when I get home.
@*sam*: I can run almost any Windows app you need while still running my OS. And I can boot into Windows for those hard-core cases. I’m flexible, baby, and I can do anything you want me to.
Sami
wrote on August 27 2009 @ 06:23 pm: [report]
Oh, too all the girls here stop buying expensive pimple creams and just buy Husky brand hand sanitizer it really clears up your face; I am not jokinhg I use it now instead of my prescription cream it works so well and it is cheaper…
_jsw_
wrote on August 27 2009 @ 06:24 pm: [report]
Off topic (*gasp*): this page takes forever to scroll down on a phone. Paging, maybe, Frisky powers that be? Please?
Sami
wrote on August 27 2009 @ 06:31 pm: [report]
@jsw
Try Disqus, when a story has too many comments you have to press a “more comments” icon to see the rest of them; then it takes forever for the comments to load which is majorly annoying. Then if you post a reply to a comment you have to do it ALL OVER AGAIN because the page completely reloads, talk about a headache of a comments forum there are days I wish they would fix that; but you can’t change the way a page is set up unless it is your own unfortunately….
Sami
wrote on August 27 2009 @ 07:01 pm: [report]
The Smoking Gun is on gotta go…
_jsw_
wrote on August 27 2009 @ 07:19 pm: [report]
@Sami: I can’t find you. Try your Windows Live account, maybe. You can upload photos to it, I think.
Sami
wrote on August 27 2009 @ 07:25 pm: [report]
That’s odd, you should be able to find my facebook account I just got it; try using Samantha that should work. Oh you found my MSN account, that’s interesting that you can’t find my facebook account but you can find my MSN account; I’ll try your suggestion….
_jsw_
wrote on August 27 2009 @ 07:31 pm: [report]
@Sami: While this discussion does serve as further proof why forums would be nice, please email me at the address in the first paragraph of the link I posted above, and we can continue from there. I’d have PMd you with this, but, of course, the Private Messaging system here takes a bit of sleuthing to notice and I wasn’t sure you’d know I’d PMd you or known how to find it.
Sami
wrote on August 27 2009 @ 07:49 pm: [report]
The MSN thing didn’t work, I have a TIFF file which is not supported by the album program on MSN; how do you change the kind of file a Photo is?
workerbee
wrote on August 27 2009 @ 08:23 pm: [report]
@sami: my son is a bakugan fan and I had the image on my (pc) compuer at work. The picture I wanted was too big to use as my avatar picture and I was too lazy to go fixing it at the time. If you’re a boy under age 10 I should hope I seem very cool with Dan as my avie.
@jsw: I can completely relate on the phone thing but at least I can click to get to the bottom of the page on my blackberry and then scroll up to the last comments. As to the scientific experiment: I feel we should definitely collaborate on the project. Helps control variables that way you see. Also, our prize money will not need to go towards expenses as I’m sure we can find some sort of financial backing. As a member of the LLSA, I feel the money should go towards buying me shiny things and having man-servants to cater to my every whim. A small portion can go towards funding the home studies. I also agree with sam about nerdy boys and their test tubes. I will go one further and say that there’s almost nothing sexier than a man using big words properly. I have strange turn ons.
@santiago: please elaborate on this “mounting on shoulders” position you speak of. I think it could be of great use for our pineapple study. If you’re able to do this without the aid of a wall or some other weight bearing device I may need to see a demonstration.
Sami
wrote on August 27 2009 @ 08:41 pm: [report]
@workerbee
I just never really grew up to be honest(I am between the ages of 19 and 23), heck I have a grandpa who watches Tom and Jerry on saturdays and my auntie Marie has a old TMNT video collection in her basement that SHE watches (I have caught her on multiple occasions watching them); my dad watches the Simpsons and Tom and Jerry not too mention the occasional episode of Transformers and he’s between the ages of 48 and 53. My family has a heriditary need to watch cartoons for some reason(my grandma watches Sesame Street every saturday) I don’t know why but we do so whatever, I am a girl by the way who still watches cartoons and I am proud and my family is obviously not bothered by the fact that they do the same thing(grandpa is 89, grandma is 82) till the day they die; heck my grandma who passed away had an addiction to Bugs Bunny cartoons till the day she died. It’s a family thing that everybody does(my aunt Sharon watches Mickey Mouse, my cousin Shannon watches Sylvester and Tweety cartoons, my cousin Heather likes Tom and Jerry as does her husband, my uncle Pat likes the Spongebob cartoon, My cousin Nathan likes Garfield, My cousin Cody likes TNNT and he is 35, need I say more) so I don’t really mind that we never really grew up because what is the fun in growing up to the point where you can’t watch Tom and Jerry, at least that is the logic I grew up with in the watch cartoons till you die family; and at least I watch real TV as well lioke SciFi and History…
CheeeeEEEEse
wrote on August 27 2009 @ 09:13 pm: [report]
@jsw: Oh so you’re a Mac, so you don’t know you’ve got a virus (much like many flesh and blood men) because you’re too proud/smart/disconnected. I seriously don’t think you actually understood me.
Also, flexibility means “soft”. Go with a hard-core option such as Linux.
Mutha-trucka.
Sami
wrote on August 27 2009 @ 09:25 pm: [report]
Check out this link it is FUNNY
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=adc3MSS5Ydc
you can also get an idea of my sense of humor…
_jsw_
wrote on August 27 2009 @ 10:11 pm: [report]
@CheeeeEEEEse: I understood you, my friend. I’ve been around computer hardware and software for a while and spent the past decade integrating firewall hardware and software. I’ve got my system locked down and am very safe in my computing. I’m virus-free. And I’m flexible in what I can do. My unibody construction makes me rock solid physically. Don’t get me wrong - I love Linux. I just love OS X more. But my secret hidden love is my BeBox. Extra bonus points if you even know what one is.
@Sami: I’m guessing that whatever app opens when you double-click the image on your computer will let you save-as/export it to a different format.
@workerbee: I’m familiar with the shoulder mounting positions, but I’ve often found them to be somewhat athletic-for-the-sake-of-being-athletic. We could certainly try them, but, since the methodology of my approach absolutely depends on your intense arousal, I’d prefer to explore techniques which would leave you relaxed and panting from pleasure, not exertion. I’ll need some initial sessions with you to evaluate which technique produces the best response, and, even though you find an extensive vocabulary to be a turn-on, I’ll be looking for the combination of words, touches, exhalations, caresses, and so on which leave you least able to speak and most prone to vocalizations of a different sort.
Sami
wrote on August 27 2009 @ 10:24 pm: [report]
@jsw
You do relize the last time I had a computer class was 1994 right, I mean you know back when Frogger was even more irritating than it is now(I threw a mouse against a wall and stomped out of the room it was so irritating) so my computer literacy is limited though I somehow figured out how to crash my brother’s computer and I can learn new thing on the computer but it takes time; however i am much more literate in computer skills than texting….
CheeeeEEEEse
wrote on August 27 2009 @ 10:39 pm: [report]
@jsw: Yeah isn’t some BeOS stuff from them mid 90’s.
I do however laugh at your ‘unibody’ (meaning hard to fix) construction. Isn’t hardware hard to replace?
workerbee
wrote on August 27 2009 @ 10:48 pm: [report]
@jsw: I agree on the athletic for the sake of being athletic part. I’m sure it’s much more fun to watch than to partake in. Especially being a small person myself, I’m usually worrying about being dropped. The initial sessions will go towards creating a baseline. Since we will need a controlled “before” we’ll have to make sure to have the optimal position(s) and techniques to generate the desired outcome. This may take quite a time commitment from you though I’m sure you’ll be up for the task.
_jsw_
wrote on August 27 2009 @ 10:52 pm: [report]
@CheeeeEEEEse: BeOS was so far ahead of its time that some of its features still haven’t been implemented by others. Mock not that which you do not know.
@Sami: FWIW, Frogger was around a wee bit before 1994. Just double-click the pic and see if there’s an Export option in any of the menus.
Sami
wrote on August 27 2009 @ 11:19 pm: [report]
@jsw
I meant to use it to add humor to my comment, I really havn’t had computer classes since 1st grade which isn’t a joke; oh have you checked out the Mean Kitty videos on Youtube they are funny.
Oh and one more thing check this out it is really cheap humor
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SkLTtQH7qzU
it may be juvenile but the tune is catchy….
_jsw_
wrote on August 27 2009 @ 11:36 pm: [report]
@Sami: You never fail to surprise me with the contents of your comments.
@workerbee: Ah, I hadn’t realized you were smaller. There’s a shoulder position that might work out quite well, then. However, your history of trepidation would suggest you’d therefore be less than optimally participatory - and we don’t want that. Instead of spelling out my plans here, I’d rather softly speak them into your ear and judge your reactions to help determine which path - literally and figuratively - I’ll take to reach my destination.
_jsw_
wrote on August 27 2009 @ 11:58 pm: [report]
@*sam*: You might like todays shirt.woot.com design. You have to click on it on Friday 8/28 because the design changes daily.
Sami
wrote on August 27 2009 @ 11:58 pm: [report]
@jsw
Thank you I pride myself on being compulsively surprising and funny, after all with all the killjoys in the world people like me are needed very badly; oh look a quarter while I try to see if it is a pre 1970’s quarter check this out
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ztj2qfui114
pretty, pretty shiny shiny….
Sami
wrote on August 28 2009 @ 12:48 am: [report]
Oh super funny british clip watch
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8gpjk_MaCGM&feature=PlayList&p=5AE3479D30ABC372&playnext=1&playnext_from=PL&index=18
*sam*
wrote on August 28 2009 @ 09:16 am: [report]
@_jsw_: aww, thanks, that is a cute shirt
though, my ‘fetish’ for computer geeks probably outranks that for chem nerds
CheeeeEEEEse
wrote on August 28 2009 @ 09:21 am: [report]
@Sam: http://store.xkcd.com/xkcd/#Sudo
or
http://www.thinkgeek.com/tshirts-apparel/womens/5981/
majicksand
wrote on August 28 2009 @ 09:24 am: [report]
So I’m a little late to the party. I’ve now spent most of the morning reading the preceding 244 comments. Can I still join the LLSA if I’m the CFO of a corporation? It’s a small company; it’s really only a great title on paper.
@jsw: You gotta stop. If I keep laughing spontaneously every time I read one of your comments, my husband will eventually get annoyed. Not really, but whatever. Even the techno-babble, that I can’t begin to translate, is sexy in an alien sort of way. The one fail-safe for my marriage is discovering that you are a proud member of the IBTC. I’m more well-endowed than most women with implants, so I guess I’m safe. That being said, I’d really like to get in on the the whole “paint-ball & oil wrestling” thing.
brandyalexander
wrote on August 28 2009 @ 09:31 am: [report]
@majicksand: Good news! If you had read the deleted posts, you would know that you are only CFO of a corporation because you are a woman and probably just got that job because of affirmative action and through no merit of your own. So welcome, fellow Lazy Leeching Slut! We will be sending you a membership card in the mail within two weeks, and don’t worry about sending your dues, because we know women don’t have checkbooks to pay them with. Just bring your enormous sense of entitlement. On the agenda for the first meeting: strategies for controlling the world with our vaginas.
*sam*
wrote on August 28 2009 @ 09:31 am: [report]
@cheeeeEEEEse: omg, I LOVE that ‘no velociraptors” & “I <3 my Geek” tee!!!!
_jsw_
wrote on August 28 2009 @ 09:35 am: [report]
@*sam*: Hey, it’s only $10 shipped. It’s hard to go wrong with that.
@CheeeeEEEEse: The sudo shirt shows off one of my all-time favorite strips ever of one of my favorite comics. Almost no one “gets” it, but those who do invariably think it’s hysterical.
@majicksand: Thanks.
While I’m a proud member of the IBTC, I’m also affiliated with the various other TCs, including the MSTC (Mouthful SIzed), HSTC (HandFul Sized), MTAHSTC (More Than a Handful Sized), and SMMTAHTEABGWHTASYMBAFNTC (So Much More Than A Handful That Even A Baseball Glove Wouldn’t Hold Them All So You’d Best Get A Fishing Net). My preference is for the smaller, but I’m not so biased that I’d hold someone’s genetics against them (but they’d be welcome to hold them against me). Please feel free to attend the oil wrestling (bring your husband), and workerbee and I would be happy to let you in on the at-home portion of our study if you’d be willing to report your results.
CheeeeEEEEse
wrote on August 28 2009 @ 09:35 am: [report]
@sam: Check out all the ones on thinkgeek. I bought my brother a bunch of crap from there for last Christmas. Including a titanium spork. I’m weird like that.
_jsw_
wrote on August 28 2009 @ 09:38 am: [report]
@CheeeeEEEEse: If liking a titanium spork is wrong, I don’t want to be right.
*sam*
wrote on August 28 2009 @ 09:52 am: [report]
@cheeeeEEEEEse: I have a feeling that it will be one of my ‘stops’ for Christmas shopping this year—thanks!!
*sam*
wrote on August 28 2009 @ 09:56 am: [report]
(not-so-random) burst of excitement: OMG THEY HAVE MONTY PYTHON SHIRTS/ACCESSORIES!!!!!
I’m in love
CheeeeEEEEse
wrote on August 28 2009 @ 10:02 am: [report]
@sam: You’re welcome. I think you’ll enjoy most of what that site offers.
majicksand
wrote on August 28 2009 @ 11:25 am: [report]
@brandy: I’m even worse. I’m sleeping with the CEO! I’m so slack I’m getting ready to leave work in the middle of the day to hit the ABC store. I gotta get my party favors for tonight’s drunken facial party with one of my girlfriends.
Meanwhile, my poor abused husband will be spending Friday night slaving away reworking our website. Hey, I’m a teamplayer though—I’m being kind enough to drop the kids off at my mom’s on my way out. Besides, he insisted on being “majority stock-holder”, so he owns 51% to my 49%. He should have to do everything.
Just so we know I’m not an entirely stupid “princess”, I did make sure he was aware I only let him get away with an uneven split because, should he ever leave me, I’ll get the house, the kids, half of everything HE owns, child support and alimony. Come to think of it, provoking him into it is sounding really rewarding right about now. lol
I would be prime material for president of the LLSA, but there might be work involved, so I’ll pass.
@jsw: You crack me up. It’s good to know my ginormous breasts aren’t actually an albatross weighing me down with the men of the world. I’m down with the whole pineapple thing too. Results forthcoming.
BTW, the name of my corporation is Lab Mouse Legacy, Inc. Anybody get the reference?
jennifer24
wrote on August 28 2009 @ 07:27 pm: [report]
I just went on a first date last a few days ago…he tried to take my picture! creepy!!!
_jsw_
wrote on August 28 2009 @ 07:29 pm: [report]
@jennifer24: That is creepy. Proper etiquette is to Google for your picture beforehand.
Sami
wrote on August 28 2009 @ 08:04 pm: [report]
@jsw
I have to agree with you…
@jennifer
you should carry some pepper spray with you if you go on a date with him again just in case, aim for the mouth and eyes if he tries anything funny if you get my drift…..
Alejandra Ramos
wrote on August 29 2009 @ 09:39 pm: [report]
I completely disagree with #2. If he asks, he pays. (And I have never asked a guy out) I don’t think I ever paid for a meal with my boyfriend until we’d been dating for a few months (it’s now been 1.5 years, we live together, and we have plans to marry). That’s never been my style and it’s never been a problem. In fact, the only guys who didn’t call for a second date were the ones with whom it was very obvious on that first date that neither one of us was interested. I’m not sure what kind of guy wouldn’t call a girl he liked just because she didn’t offer to pay, but I certainly wouldn’t want to date someone like him.
develange
wrote on August 31 2009 @ 06:46 am: [report]
ok, so you don’t offer to pay…what if you say, “thank you so much for dinner”? And with words, not with a BJ. Doesn’t that count for anything? I think the money situation should be discussed or given a second chance. Some people may be used to never paying for something and can still be appreciative, others may be used to paying all the time. People need to stop being so sensitive about money. Always say THANK YOU and voice/show your appreciation after someone does something nice for you. If she doesn’t offer to pay for dinner, she could always say, “I’ll pay next time.” That makes it clear that she wants to do something nice for you, AND that she wants a second date.
And if you do happen to do something sexual with someone after the first date…so what? last time I checked, women like sex too. Just because he paid for dinner doesn’t mean body pays my share. I agree that there should be no guilt sex or “I owe you” sex, but if a woman #&@$% a guy after he pays for dinner, it shouldn’t be interpreted as a bad thing. Although I would would probably never have sex on the first date if I wanted it to lead to something serious, to each her own.
Jewels86
wrote on August 31 2009 @ 07:17 am: [report]
@jennifer 24: that is definitely on the creepy side.
I had a guy do that.. he took my picture with his phone and caught me completely off guard.. his excuse was so when I called my picture would come up.
needless to say, I never called haha it was just awkward.
I also had a guy answer my phone on a second date while I was in the bathroom.. again, that was where it ended. So rude.
Seantastic
wrote on September 1 2009 @ 12:34 am: [report]
Everything worth saying on the subject has been done to death as it is, but as a man who make minimum wage, I think it is criminal for a woman to expect me to foot her share of the bill. If I had to work up the courage to ask her out and she’s getting a free meal out of it without even offering something in return, that is bogus.
Jewels86
wrote on September 1 2009 @ 06:52 am: [report]
@seantastic: I agree.. The least she could do is offer to pay tip or for the next date (if youre both equally interested)
Texas_Mace
wrote on November 14 2009 @ 12:11 pm: [report]
Another guy’s perspective on a few of these:
1 - IMO, not so much a factor of not calling at all, but if you miss the call or don’t respond or something, he’ll probably assume you aren’t interested and won’t bother to call again. We’ve all heard enough stories about that annoying stalker guy who won’t stop calling the girl who isn’t interested. Sounds silly, but it did happen to me - I called her when she asked me to, and she didn’t answer or return the message. I assumed she wasn’t interested and didn’t plan on calling her again, but then she IM’ed me a few days later claiming that she never got my call, and everything was good after that. So, pay attention to your phones and don’t be afraid to call him. And it wouldn’t hurt to give a “no thanks” instead of a total blank-out if you aren’t interested.
2 - Personally, I don’t really care much - I’m not going to not call because of anything related to who pays. But it does kind of annoy me when girls let you pay for their meals/drinks when they have no intention of talking to you or going out with you again.
5, 6 - Definitely. If you can’t dedicate an hour or two to getting to know me now, why should I believe that you’ll be more into me later?
8 - True, though I haven’t seen a lot of whoppers like that. More common is to bend the truth on age, weight, and height a bit. It may get you a few more first dates, but they aren’t likely to lead to second dates or more.
Colinboudreaux
wrote on November 16 2009 @ 08:48 pm: [report]
#2? You ask a girl out and expect her to pay? Why?
Sometimes you’re just not into someone for whatever reason so no second date. Sometimes it takes a date to come to that realization.
And sometimes you meet someone and you are really surprised how much you like her.
No rhyme or reason to it.
Kai29
wrote on November 19 2009 @ 08:42 am: [report]
It took me one first date horror experience to figure out what protocal to set up in order to prevent it from happening again. I have to have at least three real phone conversations with the guy before agreeing on a first date. During those conversations, I make him well aware that I am a traditional type of woman. That means I absolutely will not pay for any dates. This is his time to tell me what kind of guy he is -traditional, modern, metrosexual, high maintence,equal opportunity, or whatever. This way he knows what he’s getting into and vice versa. We can then decide to proceed with a date or not.
Penelope09
wrote on November 19 2009 @ 02:34 pm: [report]
Question about #2: I got in the habit of offering to pay for my share when either the date was a complete bust, or I was afraid the guy was more into me than I was into him and wanted to prove that we weren’t actually on a date. So, when I went on dates with guys I liked, I never offered to pay because I thought I would be sending them the message that either I just wanted to be friends or that I was insulting their financial well-being.
In other words, I was always under the impression that offering to pay on a date is insulting. Is this completely untrue?
MuchoMacho
wrote on November 19 2009 @ 02:43 pm: [report]
completely untrue. offer. im mildly irritated if the girl hasnt offered byt he second date. if i think the date is going well, ill insist on paying (or if im a gentleman). if im pretty sure im getting a handshake at your front door…