Tag Archives: politics

Michele Bachmann Says Hurricane Irene Was A Message From God To Politicians

“I don’t know how much God has to do to get the attention of the politicians. We’ve had an earthquake; we’ve had a hurricane. He said, ‘Are you going to start listening to me here?’ Listen to the American people because the American people are roaring right now. They know government is on a morbid obesity diet and we’ve got to rein in the spending.”

–Presidential hopeful Michele Bachmann explaining the recent earthquake and hurricane on the East Coast. So there you have it; God was just sending a strongly worded text message to politicians, is all. [NYMag] Keep reading »

Wanna Move To “Justin Bieber Way”?

Make an 11-year-old honorary mayor for a day and what do you think she’s gonna do? The town of Forney, Texas—which is near Dallas—ran a contest to get kids more interested in their local government. Caroline Gonzalez won the title of “mayor for a day,” and first on her political agenda was to honor her dream boy, Justin Bieber. Caroline represented for tweens everywhere by naming a street after him. How much would you pay to live on “Justin Beiber Way”? Well, no matter, because you won’t get to. The temporary sign, said to have cost the town roughly $20, was only displayed on Caroline’s big day and was likely removed promptly at midnight. She’s a thinker, though. What better way to get the biggest teen heartthrob to come to your tiny little town than to give him his own street? Unfortunately for Caroline and the rest of Forney, that didn’t happen. City Manager Brian Brooks said attempts to reach Justin’s “people” were unsuccessful. Don’t give up just yet, Caroline! Make it out of puberty and into adulthood, become the real mayor, and invite JB again! I’m sure he’ll be doing mall tours by then and will have more free time. [Huffington Post] Keep reading »

Andy Richter Prescribes “Two Solid Weeks Of Orgasms” For Michele Bachmann

Andy Richter is one of those comics who is so “whatever,” that when he occasionally surfaces, I’m like, “Oh, yeah, he still exists.” Case in point: last night Richter dispatched this charming tweet to Twitter, “There’s nothing wrong with Michele Bachmann two solid weeks of orgasms won’t cure.” Ah, yes, the old self-congratulatory ‘this woman sucks because she hasn’t been f**ked properly’ narrative. Bow down to the phallus! The penis cures aaaaaall! Keep reading »

The Corndog Bitten ‘Round The World: A Photo Of Michele Bachmann Mid-Chomp

Over the week weekend, the UK’s Telegraph‘s blog published a post about Rep. Michele Bachmann and illustrated it with a picture of her chomping down on a corndog at the Iowa State Fair. Bachmann’s eyes are mid-blink, her lipsticked mouth is wide open, and well, she’s shoving a corndog into her face.

Do we really have to talk about this? We do? Okay. Keep reading »

Sarah Palin Tries Fried Butter, Disses Barack Obama

“I’m excited to try some of that famous fried butter-on-a-stick, fried cheesecake-on-a-stick, fried Twinkies, etc. I’ll enjoy them in honor of those who’d rather make us just ‘eat our peas.’”

Sarah Palin writes to her supporters to tell them that she is heading to the Iowa State Fair and plans on chowing down on all sorts of delicious foods that unfortunately give you a heart attack in 20 seconds flat. So who is this pea-pusher she’s referring to?” Why, Barack Obama, of course. While trying to broker the debt limit deal, he said, “I will not sign a 30-day or a 60-day or a 90- day extension. That is just not an acceptable approach. So we might as well do it now; pull off the Band-Aid, eat our peas.” Wow, I love that Palin is running on a pro deep fryer platform. [People]

Related: Food I Need To Try: Fried Kool-Aid Keep reading »

Track Was A Druggie? Bristol Had Work Before? Mercede Johnston’s Many Claims About The Palins

Levi Johnston‘s sister, Mercede Johnston, makes her big Playboy debut this week, taking it all off for a four-page pictorial accompanied by an interview where she launches some pretty big allegation grenades against Sarah Palin and her family. And these are in addition to the charge Bristol Palin allegedly got pregnant on purpose. After the jump, we rate the probable likelihood of Mercede’s latest claims about the Palin clan. If I were Mercede, I wouldn’t say such things about a family of sharp shooters. Keep reading »

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