Last weekend, Her Royal Mooseness Sarah Palin blessed us all with what will surely go down in history as the greatest drunk maid-of-honor speech in all of history. At one point during said speech, she ripped a “Ready For Hillary” magnet out of her bra and flailed it around while yelling “I’m ready for Hillary, are you? Are you coming? Hey Iowa, can anyone stop Hillary? To borrow a phrase, ‘Yes we can!’ And it starts here and it starts now.” Then, I think, she vomited in a houseplant.
However, the Ready For Hillary PAC was on hand to capture the moment, and tweeted out a picture of Palin holding the magnet, along with a link encouraging followers to donate $20.16 in order to get a magnet just like the one she was holding. Keep reading »
Alabama State Rep. Patricia Todd was totally psyched when a federal judge overturned her state’s outdated ban on gay marriage. She was less impressed, however, by the way some officials reacted to it.
Specifically, House Speaker Mike Hubbard said that it was “outrageous when a single unelected and unaccountable federal judge can overturn the will of millions of Alabamians who stand in firm support of the Sanctity of Marriage Act. “The Legislature will encourage a vigorous appeals process, and we will continue defending the Christian conservative values that make Alabama a special place to live.” The state Attorney General/Comic Book Supervillain Luther Strange filed a motion over the weekend to stay the judges ruling, hoping to at least enjoy a few more weeks of having more rights than gay people, I guess. Keep reading »
Can we just not with a Sarah Palin presidential run? Please? ABC News tracked Palin down in Las Vegas yesterday, where she was serving wild boar chili to the homeless after attending the annual Shooting, Hunting and Outdoor Trade Show. When asked if she’d be interested in the 2016 election, Palin replied, “Yeah, I mean, of course, when you have a servant’s heart, when you know that there is opportunity to do all you can to put yourself forward in the name of offering service, anybody would be interested.” When the interviewer asked again if she’d possibly be interested in running for president, she proceeded with a winding monologue of chipper word vomit: Keep reading »
Texas Representative Blake Farentgold (R-Molasses Swamp) would probably most like to be remembered for the rousing speeches he gave, demanding Obama’s impeachment, to rapt crowds of up to eight people at a time. However, it seems he may now be known for his hobby of cybersquatting on domain names like “blow-me.org” and sexually harassing the women on his staff. Keep reading »
Yesterday, as a siege in Sydney, Australia unfolded at the hands of a lone gunman who took over a cafe and held over a dozen people hostage, “Fox & Friends” co-host Elisabeth Hasselbeck jumped at the chance to use the situation as a jumping off point to defend the CIA torture program — as if the two are in any way intertwined. After the show provided an update on the scene in Sydney (which has since resulted in the death of two hostages), she suddenly changed the subject:
“Meanwhile, the actual individuals here at home who have been looking into and trying to stop attacks like this and perhaps future hostage situations, as we are still at war indeed with ISIS and terrorism, are the CIA, and they have been painted as the bad guys at home.”
Oh, and then they cut right to a clip of Dick Cheney defending the torture program on “Meet The Press,” as if that has anything to do with anything.
Keep reading »
I already knew, without acknowledging it, exactly, that Kurt Vonnegut and women were an awkward mix at best. Kurt Vonnegut didn’t write women well — he wrote women who weren’t fully people, exactly, but more a physical manifestation of the mystery women seemed to him to be. It’s not to say that he didn’t get along well with women in real life. There was just a lot missing in his characters. Mona Aamons Monzano from Cat’s Cradle, for instance, is practically a demi-god, more an embodiment of the narrator John’s checklist of things to desire in a woman than a real woman. Vonnegut was acute enough to be self-conscious of that, and write it into the narration, albeit uncritically. Mona gives of herself, of her body, as a matter of course, and doesn’t act in anything even approaching a self-concerned way until the very end. I loved her for talking back and standing for her principles in an impossible situation. I’m not sure if that’s something Vonnegut wrote or something I gleaned out of Vonnegut’s writing. Keep reading »