Thoughts From Guys On Our IM: Why Are Dudes Either Flaky Or Non-Committal About Time?
The Salesman, 28
Amelia: I and a number of other women have noticed a trend; men these days, it seems, are one of two things: 1) Flaky or 2) Non-Committal when it comes to time/dates/planning. Allow me to explain. The Flaky Type says things like “I’ll call you Monday to confirm our date!” And then doesn’t call until, like, the morning of the date and acts like he never said he would call Monday. The Non-Committal Type is the exact opposite—he won’t ever get specific about a time or day. “Let’s hang our soon.” “Let’s talk next week.” Never ever “I will do this thing at this time on this day.” Are you one of these types of men? If so, WHY? The Salesman: I don’t know. I think girls are just as flaky and non-committal though. Amelia: In what way? The Salesman: Exactly what you said. I texted back and forth with this girl and had a good funny exchange going, and then I asked about going for drinks for a 2nd date and all the sudden it was dead air. Amelia: How exactly did you ask her out on this “second date”? Like, what did you say? The Salesman:I’m going to give you the entire text exchange. Here it is:
Me: How was upstate? I did some bbqing upstateish on sun with the fam. Her: Upstate was great! How was your bbq? Didn’t it get rained on? Me: You love raining on my bbq parades dont you. how’s your weekend/next week looking for a make out sesh? [Note: We had a quick make out at the end of the last date.] Her: A make out sesh huh? Me: Prefaced by a few glasses of wine of course. Her: Forward much? Me: It’s this lousy iPhone auto correct. bane of my existence I tell ya. Her: Funny how mine never turns the word “date” into “make out sesh” - you better get that thing checked out! Me: I was trying to write, “take out szech” as in Chinese take out. Strange! Her: so you wanna get take out together? is that what you’re saying haha Me: Well I appreciate the offer but I don’t know about getting take out. How about we stick to drinks. Next week?
And then radio silence… Amelia: Oh, you f**king dumb ass. The Salesman: I thought that was pretty clever. Amelia: You made it CLEAR you were only interested in hooking up with her. Which she clearly isn’t interested in. She’s not taking you seriously at all. That’s why you got radio silence. The Salesman: Then I did well, because IS all I want. Amelia: Yes, but she radio silenced you not because she’s playing games or is being weird, she’s just not interested in what you’re offering. You weren’t even really asking her out on a date, you were asking her to make out and, oh yeah, to have some wine beforehand. You even dangled crappy Chinese takeout for dinner and then snatched it away! You would have been better off booty calling her, because this was a booty call shrouded in a pretend date invitation and a sad one at that. The Salesman: Okay, I’m cool with that. I don’t feel like taking girls out to dinners and drinks and spending $100 on ‘em. Waste of money. Amelia: Dude, I gotta go.