The Top 10 Worst Things To Happen To Men This Millennium
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I don't have anything against facial hair. I love a beard. My boyfriend even has a mustache, but he grew it in November for "Movember" (to benefit testicular cancer awareness) and because I am in the stage of our relationship where I find everything he does perfect and amazing, I don't care that it's April and his 'stache is tickling my upper lip.
But the goatee is something different. A beard is old-fashioned. Many important men in history had beards. Beards are manly and rugged and they keep your face warm during cold winters. I will go to battle for the beard. But goatees are half-assed. Like you started to shave, but got lazy. Some of the douchiest people in the world have had goatees -- Dave Navarro, Ben Affleck, and Spock's evil twin in the "Star Trek" episode "Mirror, Mirror." If Jon Gosselin was capable of growing facial hair, I am sure he would have a goatee.
Besides, goatees make your mouth look like a vagina and you're not trying to attract lesbians are you? What would be the point?