The “Sex In 7 Days” Regimen
Getting The Stomach Flat
There are foods that encourage a flat stomach and others that make you look like you're expecting. Below are the approved and unapproved pre-sex foods.
Grapefruit: Grapefruit makes you full and is low in calories. Don’t put sugar on it, because then you will never again be able to eat it without sugar. Also, I don’t know about you, but when I eat too much sugar I turn into a bitch.
Oatmeal: You don’t need anything fancy for this—just Quaker Oats or McCann Irish Oatmeal. Mix with boiling water, (not milk) add some granola in for crunch, and a spoonful of peanut butter to keep you full for a longer period of time. If you eat a bowl of this every morning your chances of eating well for the rest of the day are increased. It’s a fact.
Cottage Cheese: I don’t know why this works but it does. The brand Friendship, California style, is my favorite.
Cheese (besides the cottage): Encourages bloating for most of the population.
Bagels: Those damn bagels just go straight to your ass and thighs.
Salt: Anything salty makes you puffy. Not a good look.
Candy: See above. Sugar makes me a bitch.