There was a moment during last night's Miss Universe pageant when the lead singer of Train warbled something awful about being on a private island that only Johnny Depp knows about, while the 10 Miss Universe finalists tried to whirl around him in their ballgowns, and I thought: This is what the Mayans were talking about. And yet! The Donald Trump-sponsored beauty pageant continues on, offering viewers a multi-layered competition involving ballgowns, swimsuits and intense judging panel questions about wearing swimsuits. Also, Giuliana Rancic and Andy Cohen hosted, so it was pretty much the gayest thing ever.
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