Help! I Swallowed A Baby

This story is so absolutely insane, that I don't know where to start. A 15-year-old girl in South Africa (who I should mention did NOT have a vagina) became pregnant by the most unusual of circumstances. She had just finished giving her boyfriend a blow job when her ex discovered them together and stabbed her in the stomach. The puncture wound caused her boyfriend's sperm to drop into her uterus and fertilize an egg, which became a baby. That is all. So far, this story appears to be true. I need a nap now. [Standard Madness]