Just this week a burglar broke into a Pittsburgh liquor store and made off with two bottles of alcoholic egg nog. I mean, egg nog is good, but not worth going to jail for.
“We are constantly told to buy more, buy, buy, buy! But do we really need it?”…
Bonus points for that brow cred.
Exceptions made for Josh Duggar, who need only write a note of apology to Jesus H. Christ.