5. Cleopatra by Stacy Schiff
"Just wait for the Angelina Jolie movie."
6. The Road by Cormac McCarthy
"Here, I'll tell you what happens: 300 pages of depressing."
7. Pride and Prejudice and Zombies by Seth Grahame-Smith
Enough with the zombies already.
8. Dewey: The Small-Town Library Cat Who Touched The World by Vicki Myron
"Not that I would ever admit to reading this, but ... when you finish it you will feel like a loser for crying over a book about a cat."