What it does: "If you worry about the color of your nipples and breasts, and want to make them lighter and more in tune with the rest of your body, just try applying this powder and notice the results. Just wait for the pack to dry and then take off. It also comes with a faint fragrance of rose, making this a very pleasant cosmetic tool indeed."
What it looks like: Boob blush.
What it costs: $39
Bonus points for that brow cred.
Exceptions made for Josh Duggar, who need only write a note of apology to Jesus H. Christ.
Somebody call the wahmbulance.