What it is: "Using Electronic Muscle Stimulation (EMS), the Beau Bust Roller can be used to stimulate breast growth and firmness. It even works in the bath! Simply sit back and relax in the tub, and roll the device over your chest to encourage the results you want. Use the included bust cream to enhance the experience!"
What it looks like: A very high tech meat tenderizer.
What it costs: $84
Bonus points for that brow cred.
Exceptions made for Josh Duggar, who need only write a note of apology to Jesus H. Christ.
Somebody call the wahmbulance.