The rest of us ... well, our moms our more like Lucille Bluth from "Arrested Development." A hard-drinking and narcissistic mama like Lucille is always on-hand with a strong martini and a muscle relaxant, usually taken in tandem.
Moms like Lucille may be the reason you — and the Bluth clan — are in therapy three days a week. But dammit, she's a mother, too, and that means you need to get her something for Mother's Day. Because if you don't, you know you'll be hearing about it.