Meet Ambivalent Single Lobster, A New Meme Based On My Life
This is how I imagine most internet memes come to be. Yesterday, as I was sitting down to eat a massive sandwich at lunchtime, I joked that I was taking myself off the dating market for the foreseeable future (long story!) and that the biggest benefit would be not having a reason to really care about what I look like naked.
"You know, pants don't fit, eat another slice of pizza, whatever," I said. "Shave my legs? Whatever. I'm not depressed about it or anything, I just don't care."
"You're ambivalent," said Julie.
"I'm an ambivalent single," I agreed. "Everyone else is getting married? Whatever. This should be a meme."
"Yeah, with some sort of animal," said Julie.
"A marmoset!" exclaimed Ami.
"Or a kitten," said Julie, because all she ever thinks about are cats.
"No, a lobster," I said, a lightbulb going off. "Because they normally mate for life. But this lobster is single and just doesn't give a fuck."