Explain to the world that because of "loser-ass boys," you're single and alone, and you want to make a video that "celebrates" your body. And it's not your fault that the guy you made it with (a profesh porn star) went public with it. "Negotiate" to officially sell your sex tape for a cool almost-million. Continue to act like you're totally mortified about it, but also retweet positive comments about it on your Twitter page. Don't forget to leave the Twitter wallpaper up featuring you with your daughter, because that's not crass at all.