We didn’t even know that such a thing as Pinknipple Cream existed. (Is there a mass explosion of female insecurity regarding the pinkness of their nipples?) According to the label, Pinknipple (shouldn’t that be two words?) Cream “conditions the nipples, leaving them pink and fresh. With a mixture of natural herbal extracts, it helps lighten dark spots while removing dead skin cells and revealing new, pinker skin gradually within 4 weeks. Vitamin E, squalene, and allantoin are added to make your skin even more smooth and supple. Pinknipple Cream can be used for a long time and your nipples will not turn darker than before if discontinued. Hypoallergenic, clinically tested.” Great, because the only thing worse than unpink nipples would be even unpinker nipples. None of these products have anything to do with lightening skin tone, and on that note, can you even lighten your nipples sans bleach? Ick.