The Barrier: You’re so afraid of being left that you preemptively push people away. Or you let someone get close to you but every time he takes more than two seconds to return your text, you go into full-on freak-out mode. If he doesn’t ask you on another date by the time you’ve gotten home from seeing him, you’re convinced that it’s over. Never feeling safe in a relationship, you’re constantly waiting for the other shoe to drop and the guy to disappear.
Relationship Rx: Fear of abandonment is usually historical, rooted in childhood and compounded by experiences in past relationships. Try to bring yourself back to the present when you feel this panic arise and notice that it is probably out of proportion to what is actually going on. One of the reasons it’s so scary to perceive that you are being abandoned is that, at a fundamental level, you do not feel like you are OK on your own. Regardless of whether you are overreacting or someone actually is abandoning you, the most important thing is that you not abandon yourself. Remind yourself that no matter what happens, you are safe and will be OK with or without this person.