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You just went number two. As the popular children’s book teaches us, everybody poops. Nothing to be ashamed of, right? Well the scent of your first poop at your new guy’s place can be extremely shame-inducing. But do not fret. If you can poop on command (not all of us are so lucky), then try to drop the kids off at the pool while you are running the water for a shower. If that doesn’t work, you may just have to go for it. To mask the scent of a foul dookie, one spritz of air freshener sprayed directly into the bowl does the trick. Don’t overdo it. It will just call attention to the poop smell. If there’s no Febreeze in sight, light a match or as a last resort, spray some of your perfume. Or if these kinds of things don’t bother you, pop out of the bathroom and announce, “Guess who just took the biggest s**t in the world?!” Tiara is optional.