You’re repulsed by available guys
“Not interested” doesn’t even begin to describe how you feel about that amazing guy who is so into you. When he asks you out on actual dates (and doesn’t just relegate you to last-minute dive bar drinks or late-night booty calls), treats you well, and genuinely wants to get to know you, you start making excuses about why you're not into him.
When in his presence, you have an overwhelming desire to flee, change your phone number, and take on an assumed identity. If you have this strong of a negative reaction to a guy who likes you and shows up, chances are you don’t like yourself very much. What’s underneath this aversion is often a subconscious belief that if they like you so much, there must be something wrong with them. The skittishness you experience, which can be accompanied by thoughts that these guys are pathetic, desperate losers, is a self-protective mechanism. Believing on a deep level that there is something inherently wrong with you and you’re unworthy of love, anyone who wants to get close poses a threat, because then they will be able to see what you perceive as the secret truth about yourself.
However, this truth is a lie. There’s nothing wrong with you that makes you unlovable, and as you work on loving and accepting yourself, those available men will become less and less repulsive … and maybe one day even be attractive.
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