It all starts with talk. Kinky sex educator Maggie Mayhem has some ideas for broaching the topic: “If you've never discussed your fantasies out loud with your partner it may be helpful to refer back to a song, blog-post, movie or even porn/erotica.” Saying something like, "I just saw a movie where a woman's partner tied her up to the bed while they had sex. And the connection they had was intriguing. Wanna watch it with me?"
If you want to take a more blunt route, frame the suggestion for kinky sex as a compliment, rather than as an accusation that there is something missing in your sex life. “You could say something like, ‘I really enjoy having sex with you because you listen to my body and make me feel safe. The idea of [being tied up during sex/spanked/dirty talk/doing chores naked] is something that makes me feel turned on and a little vulnerable but I think it would be sexy to explore."’ Maggie suggests using “and” instead of “but”. Example: “I really enjoy sex with you and I want to try spanking” sounds much different than “I really enjoy sex with you butI want to try spanking.”
