illuminati g5

KANYE WEST & TAYLOR SWIFT: So, the original conspiracy theory that brought me down this rabbit hole in the first place. Illuminati obsessives believe new inductees into the Illuminati club have to be humiliated in some way as an initiation ritual. Like hazing! That's what happened to Taylor Swift on VMA night in 2009. Kanye West -- himself a member of the Illuminati, obvs -- jumped up on stage as Taylor was accepting her award to grab the mic and go off about how Beyonce -- coincidence, another Illuminati member! -- "had the greatest video of all time." [Vigilant Citizen] THE "EVIDENCE"

• Kanye is a self-absorbed a-hole. Why would he make a big stink about Beyonce? Did he really think her video was that genius? Suspect!


• Beyonce's reaction to Kanye's outburst is believed by conspiracy theorists to be her worst acting performance since "Austin Powers." Fake!


• Later, when Beyonce won an award, she invited Taylor on stage so she could "have her moment," since Kanye stole it. "Taylor Swift being called on stage represents the fact that she has now been  accepted as an equal to Beyonce and has become one of the 'chosen ones.'"


• Oh, and that super bloody performance by Lady Gaga? Represented a ritualistic human sacrifice.

Which brings me to...