The Ship: An exact replica of the Titanic, obviously.
Dress Code: Black tie. Floor-length ball gowns or tuxedos required at all times, even at the wave pool.
Menu: Poutine, escargot, lamb with very little mint sauce.
Route: From Montreal to Paris and back again.
Special Activities: Karaoke contests (spoiler alert: Celine always wins), note-holding contests (spoiler alert: Celine always wins), comical facial expression workshops, special appearances by Leonardo DiCaprio and Kate Winslet impersonators.


