I like to celebrate in my own special way
So I'm doing a cleanse for Valentine's Day.
Instead of cutting out hearts with an x-acto knife,
I'll be cutting these toxins out of my life:
chocolate and dairy and poultry and bread,
alcohol, sugar, and anything red,
eggs and pasta and fruit and shampoo,
orange juice, cooked food, and plain water too.
It might be tough and it might not be fun,
but you'll be amazed at my abs when I'm done.
I've been doing fasts like this for awhile;
they're an important part of my GOOP-y lifestyle,
but there is one thing I'll never cross off my list --
a certain adorable rockstar named Chris!