Betsey Johnson is my favorite designer. I wear everything from her shoes to her jewelry to her dresses -- even my makeup case and luggage are BJ! And I would wear a shirt declaring my love for the designer in a heartbeat -- if it didn’t look like her initials meant something completely different. Do you think any straight man reads this shirt as being about Betsey Johnson? And I know that’s the point, but seriously, ick. Are dudes supposed to flirt you up being like, “You’re right, I heart BJs!” What a charming conversation starter. [Guys Heart BJ Tank, $68, Betsey Johnson]

Some shirts are just too slutty for their own good, even for this BJ-lovin’ ho. Now, I know I’ve already warned you dudes about the douchey men’s shirts that won’t help you get lucky, but there are just as many for women. Here are 22 hilarious T-shirts that won’t help your cooter drum up any business.