Welcome to the Stock Photo Model Spa, a soothing getaway that in no way resembles a real life spa. Here, they massage you with ballsacks and embalm you with cucumbers. Full makeup and awkward facial expressions are encouraged. Click through to see some of the very obscure treatments you can receive there -- from Butt Rolfing to Facicures -- along with our imagined descriptions...
Bonus points for that brow cred.
Exceptions made for Josh Duggar, who need only write a note of apology to Jesus H. Christ.
Somebody call the wahmbulance.