The longest distance a man was ever able to shoot with his zipper gun is held by Horst Schultz. He fired over 18 feet. We hope he didn’t hit anyone. As for the ladies, the farthest recorded distance that a woman has ejaculated was also at the 2009 Maturbate-A-Thon in Denmark. (What a banner year!) She fired a whopping 10.3 feet. Man, I wonder what the MPH was on that? Next time, they should have this event in a batting cage.