Instead of sawing off a cabinet leg, a carpenter sawed off his own, um, appendage. Adding insult to injury, he was building the furniture piece at his mom’s place. Fifty-four-year-old Stuart Keen and his detached penis were immediately rushed to the hospital in Wantage, England, where skilled docs were able to stick it back on. His mom was quick to rush to his defense, telling the press, “Stuart is a carpenter and uses sharp and sometimes dangerous tools. This was an unfortunate accident but these things happen all the time to people in his profession.” They do?! Remind us not to date carpenters.