12 Relationship Tests (And How To Pass Them With Flying Colors)
Detritus Of Past Relationships
The Test: The ghosts of relationships past are haunting your happy home.
How To Pass It: Whether you are the new partner of someone with an ex-husband or wife (especially if there are kids involved!) or you love someone who had a traumatic relationship in the past, prepare for shitstorms to crop up where you least expect them. Prepare to find your partner overreacting about a comment you made the dishes because "his ex used to criticize the way he did the dishes." Prepare for your partner to be inexplicably blue on her birthday because the ex's family didn't reach out to her this year.
Remember: those relationships are over, but we don't live our lives in a bubble. When warranted, allow yourself or your partner to be haunted by the ghosts of relationships past and provide a safe space to discuss them in the new relationship without being threatened or jealous. Also, know when to call BS on ex drama spilling into your new relationship. A code sentence is good. Something like, "Hey, that's not our shit. Pack it up."
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