There are a lot of reasons to watch "Cupcake Wars", but bearded cast carpenters (and brothers!) Justin and Jake Blecha are the sexiest. I mean, seriously, they build displays for cupcakes! That is the equivalent of hardcore porn in our world.
Bonus points for that brow cred.
Exceptions made for Josh Duggar, who need only write a note of apology to Jesus H. Christ.
Somebody call the wahmbulance.