The Pattern: You dream of being a writer so you date a well-known author while working as an administrative assistant. You long to be an actor so you date an accomplished performer while waiting tables. You love to sing so you date a rock star while your guitar collects dust in your closet. You put this person on a pedestal and worship him. He’s so brilliant, so incredible, so talented, you think. And he likes ME! You take pride in his accomplishments, and feel successful by association just because he’s dating you. And another year goes by of filing and expense reports, trying to make ends meet with crumpled dollar bills, and thicker layers of dust accumulating on your guitar.
How To Break It: Here’s the thing: while you’re focusing on his career, he’s focusing on his career, and no one is focusing on your career! Stop being a fan and start being your own person. Acknowledge what you really want to do with your career and take steps to make that happen. It isn’t enough to date someone who is doing what you want to be doing and it doesn’t bring you any closer to your goals. Take a class, apply for the kinds of jobs you dream of having, start a blog, go on auditions, dust off your guitar and hit an open mic. Do whatever it takes to get back into the starring role of your own life.