The Pattern: After a date, you lie in bed all day reliving every delicious moment from the night before. Or as soon as you meet a guy, you envision your future dates with him, marrying him, or just having hot sex with him. At work, you bump into cabinets and space out during meetings because you’re so intoxicated by fantasies of this guy. And reading a book? Your attention span is shot and you can only keep your mind off him long enough to read a Tweet. Almost.
How To Break It: Make a rule for yourself: No Fantasy. This is hard because we have no control over where our minds roam. But while you can’t choose not to have that first thought, you can decide not to let yourself follow it. Instead of lying in bed reliving a yummy date, go out to brunch with a friend. And don’t relive the date with her! Talk about something—anything—else. Force yourself to finish reading that Tweet, or maybe even that book you were so into before you met him. Vagueness breeds fantasy. So if you’re having a serious flirtation with a guy and feel like you’re getting swept away, get back into reality STAT. As uncomfortable as it might be, try to have a conversation about what’s actually going on between you rather than indefinitely staying in a fantasy relationship with him. The more you can interact with the real guy instead of the fantasy guy, the better.
