“Gay Of Thones” Is Serving Straight Up Westeros Realness

Julie GersteinMay 19, 2013 //
Gay of Thrones
"Bye-bye lucious Theon penis!"

Listen up, “Game of Thrones” fans — we have some weekend homework for you. Your assignment is to go back and watch all of Funny or Die’s “Gay of Thrones” recap series because for real? This is fucking “GoT” cracksauce. Each week, hairdresser Jonathan recaps all the dragons, butts, scheming and whatnot that “GoT” has to offer. He hasn’t done a recap for this past episode just yet, so we’re posting the one from episode seven instead.

We’re super sorry we slept on this so long, because this is required viewing for “GoT” fans. I mean, he refers to Daenarys as Christina Aguilera. I live for this.

To make your homework easier, we’ve embedded the other five episodes of “Gay of Thrones” (including one featuring Alfie Allen) after the jump. Keep reading »

Women Hate "GoT"?
As Cersei would say, BITCH PLEASE. Read More »
"Game Of Thrones" GIFs...
...react to anti-gay marriage Facebook status updates. Read More »
"Game Of Thrones" Lingo
"Make water," "smallclothes," and other words and phrases from the series. Read More »

4 Awesome Avocado Recipes!

theBERRYMay 19, 2013 //

Find out how to make Paleo Stuffed Avocados with Cilantro Cream Sauce, Baked Avocado Fries, Chimichurri Avocado Toasts and Fudgy Gluten Free Chocolate & Avocado Cake over at theBERRY…

Today In Food Crimes: Man Arrested For Rubbing Pepperoni On His Salami — Plus A Pickle Attack!

Ami AngelowiczMay 19, 2013 //
Be My BFs: Chicken
These guys stole $65K in chicken wings. Read More »
Lion Tacos?
Is it unethical to serve lion meat? Read More »
Breast Milk Attack!
Why did this woman attack cops -- with breast milk? Read More »
Food Crimes

Sometimes, when I’m deciding what to eat (or what not to eat) for lunch, I cruise for the latest food news for ideas. Last week, I told you about an uproar over lion tacos. Today, I stumbled upon some really strange food crimes. After the jump, a meat-on-meat masturbation mishap and a pickle attack! It’s all so phallic. Keep reading »

Weekend Cry: Bill Murray, On The Death Of Gilda Radner

Julie GersteinMay 19, 2013 //
Gilda Radner Rules
Why Gilda Radner is one of our all-time faves. Read More »
Bill Murray Facts
Here's some cool stuff you didn't know about Bill. Read More »
My Father's Death
Amelia lost her dad this year. Read More »
Gilda Radner and Bill Murray

I keep thinking about a thing I read on Ye Olde Internet earlier this week. It was a passage from the “Saturday Night Live” oral history, Live from New York: An Uncensored History of Saturday Night Live. Gilda Radner was a regular “SNL” cast member from 1975 to 1980, and at one time dated Bill Murray, though their relationship was stormy and contentious. After five years, she left the show to pursue film work, and eventually married fellow comedian Gene Wilder in 1984 (after divorcing from first husband, “SNL” bandleader G.E. Smith).

In 1986, Radner was diagnosed with ovarian cancer. She suffered through chemotherapy and radiation treatments, and went into remission. But two years after first being diagnosed, the cancer came back. She passed away in May 1989 at the age of 42. In the following passage, Bill Murray recounts the last night he spent with Radner. Keep reading »

Don’t Give ABC Any Ideas: “The Baby Bachelor”

Jessica WakemanMay 19, 2013 //
Black "Bachelorette"
Misee Harris
Dr. Misee Harris wants to be the first-ever black "Bachelorette." Read More »
Diaper At Starbucks
diaper
Parents change baby's diaper on Starbucks seat. Read More »
I Don't Like Kids
screaming child
It's not just that Chanel doesn't want kids, she also doesn't like them. Read More »
baby bachelor
Who will accept the plastic dinosaur?

Is it possible there could be an episode of “The Bachelor” where the tears flow more freely and the tantrums are explosive? Why yes, yes there could be.  It’s called “The Baby Bachelor”! It’s segment on “Jimmy Kimmel Live,” starring his very own preschool-aged nephew Wesley, who is the sweetest bachelor that series has ever seen. [Hulu]

Today In Terribleness: Mom Tries To Unload Toddler On Craigslist

Ami AngelowiczMay 18, 2013 //
Worst Mothers
Bridget Wismer
These mothers tried to sell their babies. 10 Photos »
The 1% Does Disney
Rich mothers are hiring disabled tour guides at Disney World. Read More »
Mom Forces Daughter...
To get pregnant. And she's only 14. Read More »
Worst Mothers

I so desperately want to tell you about good stuff in the world. Like, Joe, the retired barber who cuts homeless peoples’ hair in exchange for hugs. Let Joe remind you that humans are great sometimes. I wish Joe’s haircuts cancelled out Stephanie Redus’ attempt to unload her toddler son on Craigslist. The 29-year-old Texas mom was charged with “unlawfully intentionally and knowingly” placing her son, Conner Danger Redus, up for adoption. In an ad posted on CL on May 1st, Redus said:

“Hi, I’m trying to adopt out my three year old son. I’m not in a good place in my life and don’t feel like I can care for him properly, but I don’t know where to start. If you or know anyone who is interested in caring for him please let me know. I’m a single mom and can’t do this. Thanks, Desperate.”

Keep reading »

Paul McCartney: Yoko Didn’t Break Up The Beatles, Really

Julie GersteinMay 18, 2013 //
Yoko On John's Death
Yoko Ono opened up about the beloved Beatle's death. Read More »
Yoko's Fashions For Men
You're looking at your new favorite butt sweatshirt. Read More »
Style Icon: Yoko Ono
She's weird and we like it. Read More »
QUOTABLE
John Lennon and Yoko Ono

““She certainly didn’t break the group up. I don’t think you can blame her for anything. … When Yoko came along, part of her attraction was her avant garde side, her view of things,” he continued. “She showed him another way to be, which was very attractive to him. So it was time for John to leave.”

–That’s “cute” Beatle Paul McCartney, trying to definitively dispell the myth that Yoko Ono was responsible for the breakup of  the band. I know there are some diehard Beatles fanatics who will always hold Yoko responsible. But really? Do you think John Lennon would ever do anything he didn’t totally want to do? Come on. [Fox News]

Indiana Steak ‘N Shake Waitress Receives A 7000% Tip

Winona Dimeo-EdigerMay 18, 2013 //
Restaurant Server Secrets
40 things your waiter really wants you to know! Read More »
Bad Celeb Customers
These celebs have bad restaurant reputations. 11 Photos »
Sexy Restaurants
The Sexiest Restaurants In The World
Sex-themed restaurants around the world. 9 Photos »
Best customer ever
Steak n Shake Tip

CeCe Bruce has been working as a server at an Indianapolis Steak ‘n Shake for the past two years while going to school part-time. One of the restaurant’s regular customers, who is known as Miss Jo, comes in at least once a week, and developed a fondness for Bruce. After eating breakfast at one of Bruce’s tables earlier this week, Miss Jo asked if she could leave a “ridiculously large tip” on her $6 bill. Keep reading »

5 Ways To Help Him Drive You To Orgasm

YourTango.comMay 18, 2013 //

Ladies, it’s time to take charge of your orgasm! Stop blaming your partner for not making it happen for you during sex. Think of your body as a high-performance vehicle that you’re placing in the hands of a novice driver—your lover—each time you have sex. He wants you to reach the big O, but he needs some help operating your vehicle. You are responsible for guiding your man to becoming an expert driver. Follow these five steps to reach the climactic finish line:

1. Become your vehicle’s expert mechanic. If you don’t know what stimulates you, how can you expect your partner to figure it out? Do some self-discovery—masturbate. First, don’t forget to lubricate your whole vaginal area; wetter is better. Using your fingers, try different tempos and pressure levels for reaching an orgasm. Play with your nipples and see how that adds to your experience. Read a sexy book and fantasize about anything that gets you revved up. Try a vibrator on your clitoris or inside your vagina. Read more on Your Tango…

10 Moments No Woman Wants To Relive

College CandyMay 18, 2013 //

We’ve all had those good, bad and ugly moments in our lives. We all love the good ones, and take the time to reminisce with our best friends. But then there are those bad and ugly incidents. The ones you don’t want to talk about or even think about ever again. The ones where you wish you could erase from your memory because just thinking about it makes your cringe.

Here are 10 moments no girl wants to relive. Read more on College Candy…

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