I’m A Basic Bitch — And That’s OK

I'm A Basic Bitch — And That's OK

I have come to an astonishing revelation. I am basic. I regularly wear jeggings. I own a pair of Uggs. (I mean, I haven’t worn them since seventh grade, but suffice it to say money between myself and some happy-go-lucky Aussie boot manufacturers has, at some point, changed hands.) I love brunch and musicals and Tory Burch, and there are photos of me riding a camel on Facebook from a Birthright trip. I have called margaritas “margs,” or even “margz.” I have made up the lyrics to the “Sex and the City” theme song. I have dressed as a sexy version of a character for Halloween (a Smurf) and I own not just one, but three hair straighteners. And you know what? I’ve tried a pumpkin spice latte once, and I thought it was fucking delicious.

I am a “Basic Bitch.” And that’s totally OK with me. Keep reading »

Is Jena Malone Playing A Female Robin In “Batman Vs. Superman”?

Is Jena Malone Playing A Female Robin In "Batman Vs. Superman"?

I am very meh on the thought of Ben Affleck playing the latest iteration of Batman — I don’t think he’s the best actor, though I suppose Batman/Bruce Wayne does have a rather wooden personality, and I also just don’t get why the world needs so many Batmans anyway. But I might be to get a little bit excited about this new reboot if it turns out to be true that instead of a male actor playing Batman’s sidekick Robin, actress Jena Malone is stepping into the role. For starters, Jena Malone is rad. Now she can act. But secondly, HELL YES to a female Robin. Malone will reportedly play Carrie Kelly, aka the female Robin appearing in the alternate universe of “The Dark Knight Returns.” [Variety]

7 Horrifying Lessons Learned Directing A Porno

7 Horrifying Lessons Learned Directing A Porno

We think we have a rough idea of how porn movies work: actors shoot dozens of films a week, everyone’s on drugs all the time, corny music plays constantly, etc. We’ve gone deeper (giggle) into the world of porn with this piece about life as a male porn star. But that man was controlling the dick — who controls the man who controls the dick? Some questions need answers. So we sat down with “Reno Nevada,” a man who found himself thrown unwittingly into the role of porn director several years ago. Here’s what he learned making his first (and only) filmic masturbatory aid. Read More On Cracked…

4 Reasons I Want/Need To Learn Spanish

All right, that’s it, I’m done, I have to learn Spanish. Je peux lire le français et parler un peu, so while I’d like to brush up on it to be fully fluent, I could get by in French-speaking countries. But my one year of Intensive Spanish in high school is no longer cutting it. I’m still beginner-level. Here’s why I want to learn it: Keep reading »

10 Ways To Feel Less Like A Grown-Up

10 Ways To Feel Less Like A Grown Up

Growing up is overrated.

You can delay it as much as you’d like, but eventually, you don’t have any choice but to give in. I never wanted to grow out of Limited Too clothing. Never. But one day, their size 16 dress fit me like a crop top and when I tried to browse the store, little girls smelling like strawberry Tootsie Rolls walked up to me and asked me to grab a shirt for them off the rack because they were still doll-sized and I was a giant. Read More On Huffington Post Women…

 

11 Cross Stitches From Etsy That You Need In Your Home Right This Very Minute

God bless Etsy, the corner of the internet where anything you dream can be made manifest and shipped to your door. When I read about Elana Alexander, the artist who turned her catcalls into cross-stitches, the first thing I thought was, “Damn, it’s been a while since I’ve looked into cross stitches on Etsy.”

Funny cross stitches are not the domain of ironic misandry alone: Anything that doesn’t seem like something your grandma would say has probably gone on a cross stitch on Etsy. Check out these 11 Etsy cross-stitches for some cognitive dissonance-inducing home decor.

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