Make It Stop: “My Friends Are Always Late And I Am Over It”

Make It Stop: "My Friends Are Always Late And I Am Over It"

I have a few friends who cannot make it anywhere on time. We’re all busy and yet, I still manage to make it to places on time. What can I do to make them show up?

As someone who was awarded the “most punctual” award in eighth grade, I totally feel your pain. I’m of the mindset that if you’re on-time, you’re already five minutes late. Unfortunately, not everyone holds that tenet dear.

Before we get to how to address your friends, let’s make sure we’re on the same page for a second, because “being late” means different things to different people. We can all agree that five minutes late is annoying, but understandable. Thirty minutes late is irritating, but as long as your friends give you the courtesy of letting you know that they’re running behind, you can catch up on social media on your phone or have a beer until they show up. Anything over an hour late is inexcusable unless a life and death situation is involved. Like, they better be sprinting to meet you with a crazy story involving $100,000, a tub of chocolate pudding and Ryan Gosling’s erect penis if they’re gonna pull that shit. Keep reading »

Breaking: Actress Has Priorities Other Than Weight Loss

“It took nine months to build. It should take nine months to get off. I wanted fettuccini alfredo. I didn’t want a barbell…I was like, ‘Don’t talk to me about how fast and fabulous you are or it came off. That was not my experience. I’m having to work my ass off until I even think about getting it off.”

Drew Barrymore gave birth to her second daughter in April, and as would be the case for any actress, most people seem more interested in the state of Barrymore’s dress size than the fact that she brought a new life into the world. She told People that she had better things to focus on this year than dieting (like, I don’t know, raising two young kids and nurturing a career at the same time) and is just now considering ramping up her fitness. I’m bummed that she actually had to justify this to a reporter and that it’s considered a novel, newsworthy response. I’m still holding out hope for some far-off day in which new mom’s bodies aren’t up for public debate. A girl can dream, right? [People]

Mommie Dearest: Pregnant Women In The U.S. Deserve Access To Midwives

Mommie Dearest: Pregnant Women In The U.S. Deserve Access To Midwives

Earlier this month, the National Institute for Health and Care Excellence (NICE), a U.K. organization that provides national health care advice and guidance, released a report on the care of healthy women and their babies during childbirth. The report stated that low-risk women would actually be safer delivering with a midwife — either at a birth center or at home — than with a physician at a hospital.

Ever since the report came out, there has been a lot of discussion as to how it might impact birth here in the United States. In fact, this week, The New York Times published a statement from their Editorial board, asking “Are Midwives Safer Than Doctors?”, and suggesting that many women would benefit from midwifery care. Like the Times, I too hope that NICE’s report will have an impact on the care received by those who are pregnant. I should note that I have a double stake in this issue. I’m currently working on my second book, this one delving into the concept of the “Perfect Birth.” I’m curious about the way we think about, talk about, and experience birth. I’ve teamed up with Deborah Wage, a Certified Nurse Midwife currently practicing at a university hospital. Together we’re looking at the research and data already out there on birth in this country as well as gathering our own, along with the stories of those giving birth to see how it all weaves together. The stories I have heard so far that span the spectrum of birth experiences is overwhelming. The way we treat women in this country is only magnified during the birth experience, where any semblance of control and autonomy is ignored, and marginalized women are treated poorly, resulting in poor birth outcomes for themselves and their babies. Just look at the basic facts and you can’t help but understand we have a problem. The U.S. spends the most when it comes to birth in the world, despite the fact that we’re the only developed nation whose maternal mortality rates continue to rise. Clearly, there is a systemic issue that needs to change.

But my interest in this is also personal. Keep reading »

Rich Video Game Dude Buys The House Beyoncé And Jay Z Wanted

Just when you thought there was no one more powerful in the free world than Beyoncé and Jay Z, some computer nerd comes along and is like SIKE!

According to TMZ, Swedish video game programmer Markus Persson dropped $70 million in CASH for a 23,000 square foot home in Beverly Hills that the power couple was hoping to buy. Bey and Jay allegedly visited the house a few times before placing an offer, but Markus, who sold his company Mojang to Microsoft for $2.5 billion, outbid them. Check out the gallery to see where Blue Ivy should have spent the next few years frolicking around, but instead will be full of middle-aged men playing Minecraft. [TMZ]

Upstanding Human Wants To Trademark “I Can’t Breathe” For Commercial Purposes

According to a report from The Smoking Gun, one Catherine L. Crump, 57, of Waukegan, Illinois has attempted to file a trademark on the phrase “I Can’t Breathe” with the United States Patent and Trademark Office for the purposes of selling “hoodies and T-shirts for men, women, boys, girls, and infants” with the phrase printed on them. “I Can’t Breathe” of course, are the last words uttered by Eric Garner before he was killed by Police Officer Daniel Pantaleon. The phrase has become a rallying cry against the use of force and the killings of unarmed black men by police officers. Keep reading »

Stephen Colbert Says Goodbye With A Musical Number & A Few Famous Friends

Stephen Colbert
See You On Late Night!

The finale of “The Colbert Report” aired last night, and it included a visit from a freakish number of celebrity guests to sing him a send-off song. That guy sure has a lot of friends! Stephen will take David Letterman’s place on the “Late Show” next year, but it’s still a bittersweet goodbye. There was nothing quite like ‘The Colbert Report,” and it’ll be missed! [Death + Taxes]

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