I’ve been having pregnancy scares since before I even started having sex. This is either a reflection of the quality of sex education in California during the early-‘90s or a sign that I’m just deeply paranoid. Luckily, I’ve never actually been pregnant … just further convinced that sometimes the body likes to play mind games. Alas, my excellent track record did not dissuade a new wave of pregnancy panic. See, my period is late. And I’ve had sex in the last month. It was protected, BUT STILL. Like I said, I’m paranoid. So, just before filming this week’s episode of Funny Girl Sex Guide, I took a pregnancy test and in true Maury Povich style, I reveal the results at the end of the episode. But first! Let’s review the main reasons for why a normally prompt period might be late … besides pregnancy.
As a huuuge and borderline-obsessed “Friends” fan (she says, sipping from an oversized Central Perk mug), I would have given my left ovary to hang out with Joey, Monica, Chandler, Ross, Phoebe and Rachel at their favorite coffee shop. And come September, I can have the next best thing. Warner Bros. Television Group, Warner Bros. Consumer Products, and Eight O’Clock Coffee are teaming up to recreate Central Perk at a pop-up location in Manhattan, 20 years after the pilot episode aired. Oh, but there’s more… Keep reading »
Do you know how many times I’ve heard the phrase “dick cheese”? So many times. Countless times. “Period goobers”? Not so much. It’s time to change this, y’all.
Dudes get to talk about their balls and penises in public all the friggin’ time. They’re so used to being able to talk openly about their dicks that many of them have come to believe that talking about their dicks is an acceptable way to flirt. And balls — blue balls, ball-busting, having things by the balls, having the balls to do stuff — fucking testicles are pervasive in our lives.
I propose changing this by going all-in and talking about our periods openly and graphically. We talk about penises so much that pretty much everyone has a working knowledge about penises and the things they do and go through. Let’s get real real about our vaginas and our lady times. We’ve made penises into sort of lovably comical objects, and it’s time we did the same for poon. I’ll get the ball rolling (SO TO SPEAK): Keep reading »
After nine years and six children together, Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie were finally married in an intimate ceremony in France this past Saturday, their rep said in a statement to the Associated Press. The couple, who famously got together during the filming of “Mr. and Mrs. Smith,” got engaged in 2012 at their children’s behest. The ceremony took place at Château Miraval in the village of Correns, where the family has lived since 2008. All six children — Maddox, 13, Pax, 11, Zahara, 9, Shiloh, 8, and twins Knox and Vivienne, 6 — took part in the wedding, with Maddox and Pax walking Jolie down the aisle, Zahara and Vivienne tossing flower petals, and Knox and Shiloh serving as ringbearers. I need — NEEEEED — to see photos of this spectacular event, especially Shiloh as ringbearer because you KNOW she wore a tux and that’s just gonna be too adorable. I bet the couple will sell pictures to some classy magazine like Vanity Fair or W, with the money going to charity. Hurry up and start bidding, editors! [People]
I may have a love/hate relationship with Taylor Swift, but if there’s one thing we have in common, it’s loving a bright red lip. So, when I heard that a new premium beauty line (with over 100 lip products!) became available exclusively at CVS/pharmacy, I went on the hunt for an affordable and kickass red gloss. Like the answer to my cosmetic prayers, I found Makeup Academy’s Luminizing Lip Gloss in Crimson and Anti-Feathering Lip Liner in Red, and decided to give them a good, old-fashioned Beauty Test Drive. Keep reading »