Top 10 Reasons You Don’t Need To Have Sex Tonight

Sex can do a lot of things. It can get you knocked up, give you an STD, or make you feel glorious, and doctors and researchers just love spouting off the benefits of having a healthy sex life. Some of us, however, don’t have that going for us. Whether you’re just having a dry spell or you’re saving yourself for marriage, here’s how to get the same benefits you would if you were boning.

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Barsexual: Our New Favorite Word

Right now, many American co-eds are having new experiences on Spring Break! From visiting foreign countries to getting baby’s first bikini wax, higher education is all about broadening your horizons. Although LUG (Lesbian Until Graduation) is already in the Urban Dictionary, there’s a new online reference for women who just play gay. We all know sexuality is a spectrum, but on the 1-10 scale, the newly defined barsexual is in the negative numbers. She licks other girls just to make men drool, or, as Urban Dictionary puts it, “A BARSEXUAL girl only kisses them in places that charge a cover.” Oh, snap! Keep reading »

Would You Wear This? The Paris Hilton Shoe Collection

Currently available on Zappos.com, Paris Hilton’s shoe collection has, um, pink and leopard print and looks the way her fragrance smells. Jessica Simpson, your fashion line has got competition! So what do you guys think? The “Icon” style makes me feel ill, but “Vogue” (in nude) is kind of cute and ladylike. [Zappos via Perez Hilton] Keep reading »

Frisky Quote Of The Day: Kelly Osbourne

“I respect Gwyneth Paltrow, because she covers her babies’ faces – she never lets the paparazzi get that picture. I’m not going to put the Spice Girls down, because I’m a fan, but they took their kids on stage at every single show of that last tour. To be a child of three and have 25,000 girls screaming at you – I don’t think that’s necessarily good. But I’m not a mum, what do I know?” — Kelly Osbourne [The Sunday Times, U.K.]

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The Daily Hotness: Eugene Cussons From Escape To Chimp Eden

I’m a complete animal nerd and I cry during episodes of The Dog Whisperer. But now that show, and host Cesar Millan, seem like such pansies next to my latest crush, and animal-saving superhero, Eugene Cussons from Escape To Chimp Eden. Eugene is the host of this amazing show, in which he rescues abused chimpanzees from their evil owners and brings them to the Jane Goodall Institute’s Chimpanzee Eden where they are rehabilitated in hopes of letting them back into the wild. Eugene is South African, so he has a mega-sexy accent, and he’s also brave, because in case you didn’t know, chimps, while very sweet at times, are also way stronger than humans, and Eugene straight up deals with them one-on-one. He’s also amazingly good-hearted and isn’t afraid to cry in public, like when he sees a chimp in a deplorable living environment. Honestly, I have cried buckets over this show, but mostly because it makes me happy that there’s people like Eugene out there doing hot, kick ass work like this. [Animal Planet: Escape To Chimp Eden] Keep reading »

Sexy Firefights Feel The Heat

New York City is known for being dirty, but even out on Long Island, New York’s finest are apparently too filthy for a fundraiser. Officials in Long Beach have banned the sale of the volunteer firefighters’ calendar which features a dozen volunteer models straddling city property. From February, which features a lady riding a fire hose in a miniskirt, to December, which has a woman wearing nothing but oxygen tanks, the pictures were sure to raise more than charitable donations. But unless you got them while they were hot, the calendar has been pulled from shelves and all sales have been stopped. Although, perhaps there’s still hope you can sneak a peek, if you feel like going through the trash… [UPI] Keep reading »

Catching Up With The Hills

Our favorite craptastic TV show is back tonight and we’re so excited. However, just in case you haven’t been keeping as close of tabs as we have on Lauren, Heidi, Spencer, Brody, Audrina, and Whitney, here are some things you’ve might have missed:

  • According to The New York Times‘ Ginia Bellafonte, Heidi Montag is a “feminist hero” this season, because she maneuvers “her way to a bigger position at the event-planning company where she orchestrates Nascar parties, and refusing to acquiesce to the demands of her fiancé, Spencer, that she get herself home on time.” Mmm, kay. Clearly Miss Bellafonte just caught her first episode of the show. [NY Times]
  • Lauren, Whitney, and Heidi all have clothing lines. Lauren showed her collection at LA Fashion Week. We think it’s expensive Forever 21. Whitney we expect better from. Heidi’s…well, would you take fashion lessons from a woman wearing this?
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    Viagra Turns 10 [Insert Lame Erection Joke Here]

    On Thursday, the little blue pill, which has been used by 35 million men around the world, turns 10, so put on a party hat and celebrate.

    Originally, doctors were testing the active ingredient in Viagra, sildenafil, as a cardiovascular drug that lowered blood pressure. But the men in those trials found that side effects of taking the drug included having erections that were firmer and longer-lasting, and they didn’t want to give back the medication. Keep reading »

    Gossip Girl Goes Gay!

    With The Hills back on MTV tonight, we might be over the real life rich kids on Gossip Girl…or so we thought! Rumor has it that one of the main male characters will be coming out of the closet on the upcoming season. Suh-weet! Our money is on Chuck Bass, because there are too many rumors about Chace Crawford (Nate) being gay in real life. Besides, self-loathing would totally explain why Chuck is such a girl-hating bastard. [Perez Hilton] Keep reading »

    Cut The Damsels In Distress Nonsense!

    Last week, I gave the thumbs-up to a piece I had read on Dumb Little Man that advised would-be-lovers to make people love them by making them take care of them. I’ve changed my mind. Sure, it sounds nice in a fairy tale, when this advice may have made sense, but it’s 2008! So I said, “…the exhausting trials of getting a man to love you warrants the easy use of a little Psych 101″ but then I realized that relying on a man for help, and him relying on you to want help from him is vaguely “co-dependent”.

    Every time a girl goes bossing her boyfriend around, coddling him into helping her when she’s perfectly capable herself, Elizabeth Cady Stanton rolls around in her grave. So, if you want a dog, go to the pound, don’t make your boyfriend your bitch. Being a damsel in distress is lame and transparent and in the end, being that kind of girl only makes you and your man look bad, feel bad, and act bad(ly). We ladies have ourselves and that is all we were given because that’s all we need to get by. Start realizing all the things you’ve gotten done right by relying on yourself and you’ll attract the right kind of man naturally. And when he finds you, open a pickle jar for him instead! Keep reading »

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