“This Ain’t Cops XXX” Trailer Is No “Cops”

The idea of doing an X-rated version of “Cops” seems somewhat redundant to me, but I guess that’s why I’m not in the business of churning out a new porn movie spoof every week. Say hello to “This Ain’t Cops XXX,” Hustler Video’s “Cops” redux, but this time around there’s more humping than busting, more porn stars than perps, more shooting … well, you get the point. Porn stars Bobbi Starr, Dale DaBone, Jack Lawrence, and Jayden James are directed by Axel Braun in what’s sure to be the first Academy Award-nominated sex flick. Keep reading »

Dear Wendy Updates: “Ego Pumper” Responds

It’s time again for “Dear Wendy Updates,” a feature where people I’ve given advice to in the past let us know whether they followed the advice and how they’re doing today. After the jump, we hear from Ego Pumper, who was dating a longtime friend who happened to be shy with women. She went on three dates with him, without so much as holding hands, and he refused to ever call her, saying, “he only talks to his mother and grandmother on the phone and he didn’t want to put a girlfriend in the same category as them.” The final straw came when he sent Ego Pumper a late-night drunken text, which infuriated her. I suggested maybe she overreacted to the text and perhaps she should either make a move on him, or accept that they aren’t a good match and move on. So, did she put the moves on him? Are they still together? Is he still sending her late-night drunken texts? Find out after the jump. Keep reading »

Is Montana Fishburne Your Role Model? Me Too!

Montana Fishburne is proving herself to be one of the most delusional girls in America. The 18-year-old daughter of Laurence “Morpheus” Fishburne not only thinks her papa will be proud of her after getting arrested for prostitution and starring in her first porno, but now, she thinks she’s a role model. Yesterday, she wrote on Twitter, “Aw this little 13 year old girl came up to me talking about I’m her favorite celebrity and she is going to make a sex-tape when she turns 18.” How totally terrifying.
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“Princess Bride” — With a Cast of Cats

We firmly believe that the best art comes out of obsession. In the case of engineer Paul Klusman, that obsession happens to be with his three cats — Ginger, Oscar and Zoey. Paul started out with the hilars “Engineers Guide to Cats” and in his newest video clip, he coerces his three furry friends to appear in his cat-tastic remake of “The Princess Bride” — complete with tiny cat wigs. This is absolutely not to be missed. [BuzzFeed] Keep reading »

Flowchart: Should You See “Eat Pray Love”?

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“Eat Pray Love” opens tonight and chances are there’s a lady in your life who wants to see it. But is it really worth $10 and painful subzero-air conditioning? A lot of people hated the book. A lot of people hate Julia Roberts. But a lot of people loved the book. And a lot of people love Julia Roberts. Decisions, decisions. Lucky for you, we’ve got a flowchart to make the decision process much easier. Keep reading »

Finally! Men Can Menstruate! Sort Of!

OK, not really — but with the help of a new high-concept machine from Japanese artist Hiromi Ozaki they can get a sense of what the pain and agony of periods really feel like. The metallic machine is worn around the waist, and contains abdomen stimulating electrodes (synthetic cramps) and a blood dispensing mechanism that supposedly accurately simulates a five-day menstrual cycle. Ozaki demonstrates how the machine works in this deceptively perky J-pop music video.

Says Ozaki, “The machine is not worn only by men, but also by women when menstruation may become obsolete in the future and the biological process has become a mere ritual of identity.” Awesome, equal opportunity pain! Ozaki’s also working on a penis prototype that moves up and down based on her heart rate. [Carnal Nation] Keep reading »

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