Bad “Cosmo” Advice: Become A Rock Band Groupie

We admit, we don’t hold Cosmopolitan magazine to a particularly high standard or anything — but sometimes even we are floored by how utterly ridiculous their advice can be. When they advised that it would be as easy as 1, 2, 3 — “Step one: go to this spot. Step two: Find man. Step three: thank us for giving you this tip” — to meet a new dude we were curious. But oh, oh the advice was so wrong.

Cosmo thinks the hot new spot for meeting guys is at bar’s cover band nights. Cover. Band. Nights. Keep reading »

9 Life Tips I’ll Pass Along To My Kids

Recently, a blogger pal of mine posted a few life tips, or “life hacks” as she calls them, that she’ll pass along to any potential offspring. Her tips included great advice, like, “Never take Tylenol while you’re still drunk,” “Peeing after sex helps prevent UTIs,” and “Never click on the last picture in an Us Magazine slide show, it’s just an ad.” Her awesome list got me thinking about what little tips I’ll pass along to my potential future offspring. Check out my list after the jump and add your own in the comments.
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Vagina Tree Predicts Winning Lotto Numbers!

I’ve never been a big fan of the lottery. I think it’s because of that Shirley Jackson short story where the “winner” gets stoned to death, which seems to be what metaphorically happens when someone suddenly comes into a lot of money. But if there were any way to know that the lotto was fixed and you were guaranteed a win, I could maybe risk those fears. Perhaps that’s why villagers in northern Thailand have been consulting the magical vagina tree for clues? Keep reading »

Girl English Bulldog Is “Family Guy” Fan

It all seems well and good at the beginning when you realize you don’t need a roommate when you have a TV-watching English bulldog to share the sofa with. But then the darn dog will not surrender the remote control and insists on watching every episode of “Family Guy” over and over again. Finally, you have to bribe her with a sow’s ear to give you back the remote, and then she forgets all about Brian and Stewie. Until tomorrow night. [BuzzFeed] Keep reading »

Dear Wendy: “I’m So Envious Of My BFF”

My roommate is awesome and one of my best friends. Whenever I need to talk to someone I go to her and vice versa. The only problem is, and I feel like a petty bitch for admitting this, all the guys want her. I can’t blame them because I love hanging out with her and she’s gorgeous. I know I’m not ugly and I make friends easily, but I can’t compete with her when it comes to guys. Whenever I am interested in a guy, he’s interested in her. She would never pursue anyone she thought I was into, but what’s the point if they are just into her anyways? The self-hatred becomes even stronger because of how jealous and resentful I get when it’s not even her fault. I am so afraid that one day I will just blow up at her and end up hating her. I tried talking to her about it once, but it just made her feel bad and then mad at me because she thinks I’m too hard on myself. I guess I am asking you how do I stop feeling jealous and resentful? How do I become OK with knowing that every time we go out the guys will want to talk to her and not me? I just want to hang out with my best friend and be happy. — Cute, But Note Cute Enough

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The Reason Why Snooki Has Fancier Purses Than You

Snooki may have gotten punched in the face by a gym teacher from Queens, but being a D-list celebrity is not all rough on our girl. Apparently, she gets so many designer purses sent to her for free even Posh Spice is getting jealous. Style writer Simon Doonan warns us something nefarious is afoot, though. “Allegedly, the anxious folks at these various luxury houses are all aggressively gifting our gal Snookums with free bags. No surprise, right?” Doonan wrote. “But here’s the shocker: They are not sending her their own bags. They are sending her each other’s bags! Competitors’ bags! Call it what you will — ‘preemptive product placement’? ‘unbranding’? — either way, it’s brilliant, and it makes total sense.” I guess nothing warms a cold fashionista heart more than seeing a girl who just got arrested for public drunkenness during the daytime carry the competition’s wares on her arm as she trots out of the slammer. Still, that is so mean. [New York Observer] Keep reading »

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