Mind Of Man: Regular Men Don’t Wear Skinny Jeans

I can’t wear skinny jeans, because I have beefy man legs, mighty logs of muscle and sinew, the end product of hundreds of thousands of years of evolution. Ancient man spent his days running from prehistoric beasts, jumping with simian fury and squatting around the fire. Here’s a short list of the men who can wear skinny jeans: Iggy Pop, The Pumpkin King, moody beanpoles with eating disorders and those with unusually narrow pelvises. If you own and wear a cape or a top hat, you can wear skinny jeans. If you need skin-tight pants that hug your hips, then do as Batman does and wear tights. Regular men should not wear skinny jeans.
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Let Lady Gaga Light Your Way Down There

Behold the Lady Gaga fleshlight, which is basically a sex flashlight for dudes to stick their junk in. She looks kind of how I’d picture her to look as a Muppet. But Muppets and sex toys don’t mix. [BuzzFeed] Keep reading »

Krystal Ball: Enough With The Sexy Photos, Let’s Get Back To Business

Krystal Ball, the Virginia Congressional candidate whose sexy photos were posted by a right-wing smear blog attempting to discredit her campaign, never intended to steal the 24-hour news cycle away from Christine “I Am Not A Witch” O’Donnell. But 28-year-old Ball has no desire to feed tabloid fodder. She spent a week giving media interviews and even released a brilliant statement on how she would not let dirty politics humiliate her. But this morning, Ball announced she is back to focusing on her campaign. In a statement released the morning, provided to us by Krystal Ball For Congress, she said:

“I felt it was important to speak out on this issue and I have done so. I believe that I was treated fairly by the media and able to answer to the voters of Virginia. Now they deserve a discussion regarding issues such as reforming government, getting people back to work and improving our education system. I feel deeply blessed to be interviewing for the job of Congresswoman in front of the citizen’s of the first district of Virginia. I will not be granting any additional interviews on this issue for the remainder of the campaign.”

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Dear Wendy: “My Boyfriend Has A Teen Cheerleader Fetish”

I’m 28 and in a very loving relationship with my 31-year-old boyfriend of about three years. Recently, I’ve been getting annoyed, or perhaps better stated, creeped out, by his interest in high school girls. Not that he knows any personally — as far as I’m aware — but I know he’s perused photos of high school juniors and seniors on Facebook and he’s been recording high school cheerleading and volleyball shows on ESPN. It’s really starting to bother me as well as make me feel like he’s not turned on by me because I’m no longer in shape like an 18-year-old. I mentioned this to him and he said he would stop, but it’s still really bothering me. What do you think? — Too Old For My Older Man?

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Tasty Edible Art

We’re not big sugar cookie lovers at The Frisky–most we’ve tried tasted awful and were too hard. But after sampling Jenni’s Cookies, we’ve realized sugar cookies are quite tasty when done right. Jenni’s Cookies have the perfect amount of sugar and aren’t too sweet. Plus, they’re beautiful! Each cookie is hand-painted–not frosted–with royal icing in every design imaginable from Louboutin shoes to pink cocktails to scary Santa Clauses. Jenni’s Cookies also creates customizable cookies for parties, weddings, or baby showers. The only problem with these cookies? Your guests might remember their sugar treat more than the occasion.

[$48.00 Jenni's Cookies]

The Bed Intruder Invades The BET Awards


First the “Bed Intruder,” Antoine Dodson, went viral. Then he got auto-tuned, and now he’s taken his act live. He appeared on the BET Hip Hop Awards last night to perform his hit with Michael Gregory of The Gregory Brothers. The most interesting thing was that audience members, actual hip-hop performers, were singing and dancing along to “Bed Intruder.” So I guess Antoine wins the award for the best first viral-video-to-auto-tune-single? He bought his mother a house with the earnings he made. Seriously. All I can say is “Hide your kids, hide your wife,” because auto-tuning is taking over the world. [PopEater] Keep reading »

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