E. Jean, Elle’s Advice Columnist, Needs To Stop

Usually we read Elle magazine’s advice column “Ask E. Jean” with a sense of bemused horror. We imagine E. Jean sitting poolside sipping a Mai Tai, systematically rattling off terrible, cliche, and gender-stereotyped advice to a beleaguered assistant who’s forced to type up every word. You see, the women who write into E. Jean often have similar problems — the spark in their relationship has died, their husbands or boyfriends are now distant or disinterested. And without fail, E. Jean always recommends the same thing — “Oh honey, just whip up a steak dinner, put on some sexy lingerie and seduce your man back into the relationship.” In E. Jean’s world, we’re all just a sexy negligee away from solving all our relationship woes.

And then we read E. Jean’s advice to a woman who’s been married for four months and is still a virgin … Keep reading »

The World’s Worst Tattoo Session

This woman should never attempt to get a tattoo ever, ever again. I think the tattoo artist was being kind when he called her “parsnippety.” I don’t even want to know what she’s like in childbirth. [BuzzFeed] Keep reading »

Brad Goreski Is Divorcing Rachel Zoe

Major bananas news that will make you die! Lovable “Rachel Zoe Project” assistant Brad Goreski, aka Rachel Zoe’s surrogate child/gay husband, is leaving her as of October 1. “I love Rachel and she’s taught me everything I know … but there’s a point where either I do it now or I’ll never know what it’s like to spread my wings and soar.” Keep reading »

Mind Of Man: How To Compliment A Naked Man

How do you compliment a naked man? You don’t. The Golden Rule of Sex is usually do others as you would have them do you, but not in this case. Women enjoy sincere compliments in the bedroom. Not over-rehearsed grunts or snippets of porno dialogue like “Oh baby, you’re so baby, baby.” In my personal experience, women also aren’t into dudes who’re effusive blabbercheeks. My poet’s heart was in the right place, but she informed me that I didn’t need to barf up bargain basement Byron. Keep reading »

An “Alice In Wonderland” Headband For Grown-Ups

Fashion is often a balancing act, and this Asos headband is a perfect example of how to do it. For starters, it’s a hair accessory that’s almost jewelry-like thanks to its gold wire form. Second, you get the girly “Alice in Wonderland” edge with a sweet bow, but the look is not too flamboyant or child-like. Throw it on as a subtle yet glitzy extra to an evening ensemble, or make it a classy and surprising touch for your everyday jeans and tee ensemble.

[$10.11 Asos]

What Would Kristen Stewart And Robert Pattinson’s Kid Look Like?

It’s the question Twihards can’t stop thinking about as they drift off to sleep at night. If Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson, err, Bella and Edward, were to breed—what would their baby look like? Well, casting directors are trying to figure that out as we speak, as they audition young actresses for the role of Renesmee in “Breaking Dawn.” Rumor has it that 9-year-old Mackenzie Foy may be the lucky lady and is closing to signing a deal. She looks like a pretty believable combo of the two to me. What do you think? [NY Daily News] Keep reading »

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