I bought a lamp at a thrift store for $1.95 over the summer. It’s a beautiful thing — white porcelain with tiny gold stars along its edges. The only problem was that it didn’t turn on when I plugged it in. The lamp sat at home, useless, until I finally got fed up and went to Home Depot. A nice older man taught me about rewiring, and I even learned how to do an underwriters knot! Take the next couple weeks to complete the project you’ve had on hold for ages. Just do it, okay?
See all the ways to make the most of the last 31 days of 2008 here. Keep reading »
Any lady who’s put in her time knows there are a lot of lunatics out there. The bad news is, some of them are scary. The better news is, dating the mentally unstable doesn’t always have to be a negative. Here’s a quick way to take the lemons life tosses your way and turn them, if not into lemonade, into at least something slightly less acidic:
1. Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder Dude
True, the fact that he needs to touch the doorknob 33 times before you can leave and flips out if his broccoli brushes up against his steak, might get on your nerves. But on the upside, he’ll totally clean your apartment—even that gnarly crud caked behind the toilet. Keep reading »
Hate to say it, but some romantic gestures are gross and cheesy and not at all what we want when a guy is trying to make a statement. That said, there are some really, really sweet, kind, funny things a man can do to melt our cold hearts. Here are the ten things we’d seriously rather you not do to woo us, plus ten gestures that really will turn us to mush.
Things That Are Intended To Be Romantic But Provoke Gag Reflex
1. Having your date get down on his knees at a movie theater and serenade you to New Edition’s “Mr. Telephone Man”.
2. Having your date order for you (um maybe I wanted the chicken?)
3. Rolling in money “Indecent Proposal” style. Money is one of the dirtiest and most germ-infested things on the planet.
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My birth control is ruining my figure. It’s not so much the extra pounds the Pill has added to my frame — seven pounds, if we’re counting — it’s the extra cleavage that I can’t stand. I know most women would kill for overflowing bra cups. If you’d talked to me twenty years ago, when I was stuffing my bra with gym socks and then admiring my womanly profile in the mirror, I’d have balked at the idea big boobs would be anything other than a gift from God. But that was before my breasts inexplicably grew three cup sizes during my sophomore year of high school, and I became a school-wide, overnight sensation the day I demonstrated my jump-roping skills in gym class. Could there have been anyone more clueless and insensitive to the woes of teenage girlhood than a middle-aged, male gym teacher? Keep reading »
It’s an exciting week! We’ve got not one but two new additions to the “Guys On Our IM” roster (including one of our boys at AskMen.com), each desperate to wow your lady skulls with their revelations on the male psyche, sex drive, and beating heart. This week, I broke ‘em in hard, asking them to confess how they really feel when they aren’t able to make a sexual partner climax. Depressed? Suicidal? Meh? Sadistically happy? Find out, after the jump! Keep reading »
Everyone knows who the A-List celebrities are. They are the ones who have a Star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame, the ones who cause the biggest stir in Tinseltown. And while most of us recognize who these people are, as one moves on down the “scale” of famous people, it is obvious that the rich and famous are divided into some obscure (and not so obscure) categories. Keep reading »
Emotional cripples. Religious zealots. Man-babies. My recent dating roster could serve as a police lineup of degenerates, liars, and serious letdowns. Naturally, I’m hypersensitive to red flags these days. So when a guy I’m interested in tells me that he’s a “bisexual,” shouldn’t I run? Perhaps. But once I got the initial panic out of the way (OK, I called my friend and frantically yelled, “911! 911!”), I let his confession marinate. Then I decided I’m not going anywhere. Or, if I do, it’ll have nothing to do with his half-gayness.
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To any guys reading this post — this is indeed a conversation most women have in their lifetime with their friends. We are fascinated by that thing dangling between your legs. What it feels like there, how pants fit comfortably, what it’s like when you’re standing at a urinal and are tempted to glance at the dude next to you. And yes, what it feels like to have sex with one of us. So with that in mind, I polled some of the ladies I know to find out what exactly they would do if they had a manhood for a moment, a schlong for a spell, a willie for a week, a d–k for a day — above is the convo that Sexpert Lindsay and I had over IM, and the rest are after the jump. But one thing I’m wondering of you — do guys ever theorize about what they would do if they had a vagina? Keep reading »
You know what you ought to do before you turn 30 (1, 2, 3, 4), but what do you do afterward? Believe it or not, life doesn’t magically come into focus the second that you’re no longer 20-something. Creating the life you want in your 30′s takes work. To make the transition into your new decade as smooth as possible, here are a few tips for navigating those first 30 days. Keep reading »
Karma is a bitch; that’s the cliché you intensely learn as you hit the period of your life roughly between the ages of 27 and 31, as Saturn, the planet of reckoning, enters back to the position it was when you were born, throwing you into existential angst, creating merciless upheaval and forcing you to own up to who you are and your potential or sinking pitifully to the bottom. Everything you need to know about the Saturn Return, after the jump… Keep reading »